validation

yesterday, it felt a little like the universe had me on speed dial. i was getting messages throughout the day, all relatively subtle and easily miss-able, but they made sense when i took a step back to see the bigger picture. as noted in yesterday’s blog entry, it was about change.

but today the universe had something new it wanted me to know. just as important. just as fitting. delivered just as subtly.

today’s message was: validation.

the importance of validation. of being told, “you’re great, i like you, you’re valuable, you’re special.” everyone needs it, and the world might just be a happier place if everybody took a moment or two each day to be as conscious about giving it out as they are when it comes to taking it in.

think of how nice it is when someone pays you a random compliment. or tells you the cookies you baked were delicious. or remarks at how fantastic you were at that presentation the other day. whatever form it takes – because sometimes it’s as simple as a passing smile or a warm hug – validation feels good. for all involved. i truly believe that, and try to practice what i preach. you should try it, too, if you’re not doing it already. you’ll see.

somewhere – maybe elsewhere on this blog or in an email or someplace, i can’t remember – i commented a while back that i sometimes feel like i’m constantly striving for validation. not a gold star or a hearty slap on the back, but just a sense that what i do matters, and what i say matters, and that i matter. that desire for validation ebbs and flows. or, i suppose, it’s always there but just more pronounced sometimes. and i find it creeps to the surface more often when i’m in a funk or likewise blue.

or feeling adrift.

cue: the universe.

tonight, at my weekly meditation group, the woman who leads the group enthusiastically suggested we all check out this really sweet short film on YouTube. she said it was very charming, and it deals with how all interact on a day-to-day basis. so, of course, upon arriving home i logged on, found the film and watched. at first, i thought it was cute... but wasn’t really super-engaged. i understood its moral about a minute in, and was enjoying its message of “say nice things to people,” but with a running time of over a quarter of an hour, i wondered what else it could possibly say to fill another 13 minutes.

then, right as i was pondering surfing elsewhere online, one of the characters onscreen turned around and i saw that she was wearing a nametag that said, “victoria.”

okay, universe, i’ll keep watching.

and i’m glad i did. it’s not a groundbreaking film and its production values aren’t slick or flashy, but for all its simple storytelling and rough edges it’s unexpectedly moving.

and in its lead character, i saw myself. in so many ways. not surprisingly, i cried at the end.

so, tonight, i want you know that you're pretty cool. that you coming here to read makes me happy. that your comments, for those of you who leave them, mean a great deal to me. i'm glad you drop in. thank you.

and tomorrow, i hope you validate someone else. pay it forward. tell someone they have nice shoes. or point out how wonderfully friendly your waiter was during your meal. or just smile at a stranger you pass on your way to work. please do it. because it does make a difference. trust me.

oh, and here’s the short. it’s called... Validation.

yes, it’s a little long. but worth it, if you have the time.