waiting for the sleep monster

perhaps you’ve heard of the “sleep monster.”

it’s that slow, seductive thing that creeps up on you ever-so-quietly and makes you drowsy when you really want to stay awake. like when you’re up well past your usual bedtime because you’re watching some kind of live event, and you desperately want to see the end, but you feel your eyes getting insanely heavy to the point that you can barely keep them open. or when you’re reading a book and you feel yourself sinking lower and lower into the cushions of your couch as eye fatigue takes control and the warm lure of a nap finally becomes too much to resist.

the sleep monster is the thing that drapes sleep around you like a velour cape.

sometimes, its visits are unwanted and unwelcome, like when you’re studying for an exam or trying to finish your taxes before the midnight deadline or working the overnight shift at the hospital or driving along the highway on hour four of a seven-hour trek. at those times, the sleep monster is kept at bay by any means necessary. which usually means caffeine.

other times, you cannot wait for the sleep monster’s arrival... but it doesn’t come. for some reason, the sleep monster has decided not to pay you a visit and, no matter what you do to try to entice it, nothing shows up. the sleep monster is nowhere to be found and, instead, you lie awake at 3am, staring at your clock and wishing the sleep monster would take you in its arms and sing you a lullabye.

i mention the sleep monster tonight because, last night, i felt its impending arrival and was looking forward to meandering to bed at an early hour for a deep, long, restful slumber. i’d gone for that 21km walk during the day, and therefore felt physically and emotionally spent. i was more than ready to throw open my door, usher the sleep monster in, perhaps sit with it for a spell and then hit the hay. the sleep monster would gently take me to neverneverland and then leave me to my dreams. or so i hoped.

unfortunately for me, the sleep monster did arrive... and then LEFT. i missed my window of opportunity. the sleep monster began stroking me with its soft, comforting tendrils, and i could feel the drowsiness wrapping around me like a fuzzy blanket, but i ignored it. i distracted myself with some activity or some TV show, and shook off the sleep monster’s loving embrace. i thought i could delay our rendezvous and all would be fine.

i was incorrect.

because the sleep monster high-tailed it outta here, and didn’t come back. despite an epic walk and a body craving rest, i went to bed and stayed awake for HOURS. it was not a good night and i wished ever so hard that the sleep monster might return.

but it did not.

so, tonight, i am more than ready. and, in typing about the sleep monster for the past little while, i have successfully managed to call it back. right now, my eyes are getting squinty and the lids are beginning to feel weighed down. my toes are warm and i can hear my bed beckoning. the sleep monster is here, and i’m not letting it leave this time...