quick updates... i swear "getting naked at the pool" is coming soon...

1. tomorrow morning at 9, mr. super is scheduled to return to fix the mess he created. the super came to my apartment today because i wanted her to see for herself what the problems were, and for her to try to turn on and off the water in the bathtub. i really really really want everything to be all better by noon.

2. for about 20 minutes today, i believed my work on the advertorial was done. because i was told it was done. i was mistaken. but i think NOW it's finished.

3. i have two feature stories to write tomorrow, both about movie stars.

4. the weirdo next door has been spotted walking the psycho's puppy. the creep seems to have disappeared.  i really want someone wonderful to move in at the end of the hall come november.

5. the temperatures here will be dropping dramatically overnight. it was about 75ºF yesterday. tomorrow? probably in the high 40s. and WINDY.

ask (sort of) and ye shall receive (in a way)

once upon a time, i wrote this.

and, now, this exists.

:-D

iceland tales will resume shortly... in the meantime, my faucet's busted!

for the past year, the hot-water faucet in my bathroom sink had become increasingly hard to turn.

for the past few months, i'd only been able to turn it about a half an inch.

it was still functional, and hot water still came out of the tap... but the water pressure was always limited and would slow to a trickle as the temperature rose. the hotter the water, the less of it that would come out of the tap. for many, many weeks, i debated whether to let the super know and to request it be fixed.

i hate having repairmen in my apartment, especially when i'm not home, and i wanted to make sure that i'd be around if a faucet repair was gonna happen.

given that i'm on hiatus from the office job for at least the next four weeks, i decided to call the super yesterday. (that's when i found out the psycho's moving out.)

i explained the sink problem and made sure to repeat "bathroom sink," because i had visions of someone arriving at my door to fix things, me not being home and that someone inadvertently "fixing" the wrong thing.

the super said her husband would probably be able to fix it (he's an electrician and general handyman), and that he'd likely be up to do it on friday. i said that was fine, i wasn't in a rush. and, more importantly, i knew i'd be home all day on friday, so i'd be there to direct the action.

imagine my surprise when, this evening as i was returning home from a screening, i arrived at my apartment door to find it ajar and a light on inside. i nearly had a heart attack -- i thought someone had broken in.

no, it was the super's husband... perched on the edge of my bathtub... with the bathtub fixtures taken apart before him.

WHAT?!

"no, no!" i said. "the bathtub's fine! it's the SINK faucet that was sticking!"

"oh," he replied, "i tried the sink and it seemed fine, so i thought maybe it was the bathtub."

OMG.

NO!

my bathtub faucets had always been perfect! nothing at all wrong!

"well, i put in new parts anyway," he said of the bathtub fixtures as he began re-assembling them.

then, he started on the sink. i went about trying to busy myself with other things, all the while worried that whatever needless repair he'd just done on my bathtub would, instead, wind up CAUSING a problem.

a few minutes later, i saw him putting the sink fixture back together.

"so, is it fixed?" i asked.

and he answered that it was sort of fixed -- in trying to loosen the hot-water faucet, he also wound up shifting the entire fixture off its mooring and it was now loose. in order to fix it, he'd have to take the entire fixture OFF... and, he said, if he was going to do that anyway, he might as well just install an entirely new fixture (since mine was probably original to the building construction).

i'd arrived home hungry for dinner but had lost my appetite by this point.

he said it would take a few days for him to get a new fixture and then return to install it... so, saturday?

i said saturday would be fine, anytime after 9am. i asked whether the sink faucet was still usable in the meantime and he said, "oh, yes! it's fine... just loose." and then he showed me -- he grabbed the tap and wriggled the entire thing back and forth.

he left and i decided to check his work on the tub. what had he done? what would be different?

well, for starters, the faucets now feel gummy and stiff. i have to turn and turn before any water comes out, whereas all i had to do in the past was simply turn the knob a little and a strong stream of water would shoot from the tap.

then... i tried to turn the water OFF.

i turned the faucets off. or so i thought. i noticed a steady drip coming out of the tap. i turned the faucets off harder. the drip continued. i tried wrenching them off with as much might as i could manage.

drip.

drip.

drip.

OH, COME ON!!!!!

yes, not only had he made turning the water *on* more difficult, now it seemed i couldn't get it to turn completely *off*, either.

my stomach sank.

i called the super.

"yeah, he `fixed' the bathtub faucet even though there was nothing *wrong* with the bathtub faucet, and now the bathtub faucet is dripping."

she let out an exasperated sigh and wondered aloud why he would touch the bathtub when she'd told him specifically that it was the sink. then she offered some anti-drip suggestions, all of which i'd already tried to no avail.

"he can fix everything on saturday," i said. "i just wanted to let you know."

i hung up and could have kicked myself around the block. something inside told me not to bother with the faucet... that i should just keep using it until it became unusable and only call when i couldn't turn it on at all. i had this weird feeling that new problems would be created in trying to fix this one, and i was right.

thankfully, after further cranking of the faucets, it appears that the drip has finally stopped. but i don't want to have to exert that much effort every time i take a shower! i'd like to, oh i don't know, turn off the water easily and have that be the end of it.

on the upside, they have to keep fixing this problem until it's fixed. and, if the super's husband can't get it done, then i'll ask for the official plumber to be called so *he* can finish the job.

oh, and the irony (sort of) to this whole debacle? the hot water faucet on the bathroom sink now works.

a prayer for the universe

dear universe,

thank you for making sure the psycho at the end of my hall was finally kicked to the curb. it makes me very very happy to know she'll be gone soon.

if it's not too much trouble, would you please do what you can to make sure that whoever moves into her apartment is:

* a non-smoker
* quiet
* sane
* responsible
* respectful
and
* friendly?

please? it would mean so much to me.

with great appreciation,
vickie

and the choirs of angels sang, "HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!"

the psycho tenant at the end of my hall is LEAVING!

when i heard the news this morning, i was so happy i nearly cried!

no more living in fear! no more worrying about coming home and running into her in the hallway!

no more loud music blasting out of that unit! no more screaming tantrums in the middle of the night!

she's finally, finally OUTTA HERE!

though i didn't get all the details, i gather her psychotic behaviour had escalated recently because the super said they took her to court. as such, i imagine the psycho's departure from this building
isn't exactly voluntary... so we're all bracing for retaliation of some sort.

but she's been a menace the entire time (4+ years) i've lived here and now... 

she has to be gone by halloween! 

i feel like throwing a parade!

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

today in "thoughtless remarks" news...

YB and i popped in to visit our mom this afternoon. mom's been down lately, so we try to cheer her up when we can. as we sat in the living room and chatted, mom said something about "getting hints from people" that she's getting fat.

both YB and i jumped on the comment. what the what?! who'd given her "a hint"?

"friends," said mom.

WTF?

(note: mom's actually lost 10 pounds of late.)

we pressed for more info, and wanted to know what was said and who'd said it, because neither trix nor i could believe that any of her friends would tell her she's getting fat. though, to be honest, i suspected i knew who said it -- mom has one friend who's made thoughtless remarks before. not to be mean or because she's cruel, just because she's thoughtless.

after further pushing, mom gave up the story. it turns out i was correct in identifying the culprit.

she and mom were out shopping together recently, and the friend noticed a very heavy woman nearby.

"now, she's fat," said the friend to my mother. "she makes you look thin."

seriously.

both YB and i rolled our eyes and shook our heads and assured our mother that she is not fat, nor is she "getting" fat, and reminded her that her clueless friend is clueless. nevermind that this friend is no svelte specimen herself nor does she have any business commenting on anyone's weight.

"next time she says something like that," i advised, "just look at her and say, `oh, so you're saying you think i'm fat.' and then wait for her to get it."

but what i really wanted to advise was that, next time something like this happens, mom should look at her friend and tell her to f**k off.

and... it continues!

submitted a bunch of copy yesterday, and the client once again opted to go with the mock-up copy they'd provided for the ads.

and they've decided to cut one portion of the advertorial -- which was set to be about 300 words -- down to ONE LINE. (which i have yet to write... and i'll write a few, to give them options... but i suspect they'll just use the line they've already created, anyway!)

so, i started to get nervous about my fee. my workload has been cut by at least 70%, and i wondered if my fee would likewise drop by a similar percentage.

NOPE!

i still get the original amount, regardless of how little i wind up having to write or how little the client actually uses of what i do write.

it's kind of hilarious, but i'm not complaining!

vignette: back to ones!

i've been assigned a very urgent, last-minute writing project, which is why i have yet to continue the iceland-tales entries with the story of the pool. please stand by.

this project involves writing all the copy for an upcoming advertorial for a large corporation.

one of the tasks was to come up with ideas for the name of a promotional contest the corporation will be running as part of this campaign. the instructions from the client were:

"we need to incorporate the words fun, cake, vickie and contest. something like `vickie's fun cake contest.'"

(note: i have substituted the actual words supplied to me... but i think i'd run a pretty sweet fun cake contest.)

so, i set about creating a dozen different options (they'd asked for five, but i wanted to give them plenty), using every permutation of the given words that i could, plus other colourful suggestions that maintained the concept and theme. i was pretty happy with them when i emailed them off last night.

earlier this evening, i got an email from the the project manager who'd given me this gig. it said, "see below for the client's decision on the contest name..."

so, i scrolled down to a forwarded email from the client.

"please be advised we'd like to move forward with `vickie's fun cake contest.'"

they chose the idea they themselves came up with in the first place.

but i don't care, because i get a cheque regardless.

fin.

onwards!

iceland tales: the wedding -- conclusion

once everyone's eyes had been duly dabbed dry, it was time for the reception!

while the ballroom at the hotel was being readied with plates and silverware and the like, we all mingled in the secondary bar area just outside its doors. the boys had put out huge bowls of their personalized wedding M&Ms, and there were rows of cocktails already sitting along the bar, waiting to be consumed. folks were running around snapping pictures with the disposable cameras we'd all been given in our welcome bags (fun fact: i never finished my roll of film and still, today, have 15 photos to go!), and everyone was chatting and grazing and meeting each other.

after about 30 minutes, the doors to the ballroom opened and we all filed in to find our assigned tables. on each table was a stack of 8 1/2 x 11" white paper, and our instructions were to use them to write down whatever wishes, hopes, recollections, stories or random musings we wanted to share with ericanddan. we could draw, compose a poem, offer advice, give a blessing or, my favourite suggestion: just write our names in really big letters. the pages would later be laminated and turned into the boys' de-facto (and wildly imaginative) guest book. so, some folks immediately set about preparing their masterpieces as the proceedings began.

the order of operations for the remainder of the night is kind of scrambled in my brain, but i know ericanddan officially welcomed everyone and thanked us all for coming. there was an amazing video, put together by dan's news-producer brother-in-law, that chronicled the fellas' relationship with equal parts humour and heart. thanks to adele's cover of "make you feel my love," which played over the video's final three-ish minutes, the lights came up and just about everyone in the room (grooms included) was weeping. the video was so well-done and so fitting, tone-wise, given its subjects. over the course of the night, there were also video greetings from members of eric's extended family, which were all sweet and funny. dan's niece and nephew recited a cute poem, and eric's mother -- with vocal support from dan's mom -- took to the microphone to serenade the happy couple. i'm sure i'm forgetting other stuff.

then, it was time to eat!

there was a maaaassive spread of food, laid out buffet-style. seafood and salads, breads and spreads and pâtés, delicious chicken-satay skewers with an array of dipping sauces, vegetables and sushi… and that was just the first course! as we were all eating, the main-course offerings were rolled out. there was a rack (a leg?) of lamb, trays of potatoes prepared in a couple of different ways, more vegetables and an assortment of sauces and gravy. i'm sure there were other items out there, but i lost count of the options and we all ate until we were full.

and what's the best way to recover from a big meal? dance your ass off, that's what!

ericanddan had hired a pair of lovely lady-gay DJs, who also happen to own and operate trúnó, reykjavik's only official gay club, and they spun one awesomely thumpy dance tune after the next, with lady gaga in very, very heavy rotation (which, i later found out, was fully orchestrated by gaga-loving eric). at first, only a few people hit the dance floor… and i was certainly not one of them. outside of my living room, i hadn't danced in, oh, 12 years? 13, maybe? if i'm not among people with whom i feel comfortable and fully accepted for the dweeb that i am, i'm certainly not going to shake my groove thang and risk ridicule. i never doubted that i'd be fine at this particular party, i just felt a little self-conscious, so i spent some time in my seat just bopping to the music while i worked up the nerve to actually get out of it to dance.

eventually, the rhythm that was gonna get me got me, i asked my friend tim if he'd join me, we hit the floor…

and it felt AMAZING!

though i am by no means a dancer, and there were PLENTY of people seriously cutting loose, it felt really great to be a part of it. so much so that tim and i danced with everyone for a couple of hours. hours! no matter what the DJs threw on, we kept going… and i loved every minute of it! why? because i felt like one of the group -- accepted, not judged. i didn't think anyone would be looking at me funny, or trying to get me to do something i didn't want to do or making me feel at all uncomfortable for any reason. it was just a big, fun, loving, lovely cluster of people spinning and flailing and grinding and moving to really loud music.

and i think those feelings of love and acceptance played a big part in my experience in iceland, both at the wedding and elsewhere. because as i was meeting all these new people, i was being welcomed as though we'd all known each other for years. it was instantly easy, and guess what? no one ever commented on what i was eating or not eating. never. no one looked at me funny if i said i didn't drink. no one made me feel "less than" in any way. at all.

just the opposite, in fact.

when i first saw eric at the reception, he hurried over to me, gave me a huge hug and then excitedly told me that, upon exiting the ceremony area after the wedding, the very first thing he said to dan when they'd cleared the crowd was, "did you see how SLAMMIN' vickie looked?!"

i think, had he not just married dan, and were we not both gay, i might have asked eric to marry me right then and there after he revealed this little factoid to me.

instead, somewhat stunned, incredibly grateful and huegly flattered (keep in mind, eric used to work on ANTM, so to hear i looked "slammin'" was, for me, a huuuge compliment), i hugged him and thanked him. then, perhaps sensing my skepticism, he quickly added that, after the rehearsal dinner the previous night, his best friend had made a point of telling him that she thought i was beautiful. magically, she appeared just as eric and i were having this exchange and, had she not been straight and in a relationship, i probably would have married her on the spot, too.

it was all a little overwhelming, but in the best, nicest possible sense. it was like i had people giving me back parts of my self-esteem with each passing hour. not just on the wedding day but, as i mentioned in a previous entry, throughout the trip.

one of my favourite scenes in the movie The Holiday is the one where kate winslet's character, iris, explains the healing of her broken self to jack black's character. she says something along the lines of, "… and then you go somewhere new, and you meet new people, and slowly little pieces of your soul come back." (i'm paraphrasing poorly, i'm sure, even though i've seen that movie at least a dozen times, but you get the idea.)

that's the gift i was given throughout the night, and throughout my time with my friends. pieces of my soul came back. and, again, to hammer the point home, i am so truly, immensely thankful for it and for all of them. i think i kind of fell in love with everyone a little that night.

anyway, i digress…

i realize that my account of the reception has, until now, been sorely and very obviously lacking the key component for which (i'm sure) everyone's been waiting: information about THE CAKE.

there was a delay in the serving of dessert, and a period of dancing happened before the multi-tiered cake was rolled into the centre of the room. i silently… or, not-so-silently, now that i think of it… oohed and ahhed. it was gorgeous! after the ceremonial cutting, slices were doled out onto plates… but no one was going up to get any. what the WHAT?! it was all i could do to stay seated and, finally, i enlisted my table mates and up we went.

the lighting in the room was a little dim, so the cake part of the cake looked like it might chocolate or mocha (it was light brown), with a cappuccino-coloured filling and a fabulous fondant icing. as cake connoisseurs know, not all fondants are created equal -- some are too stiff, some are way too sugary -- but this one was DELISH. and, just under the fondant, was some kind of white sub-frosting that i couldn't identify but that i sure did enjoy. the whole thing was GOOOOO-OOOOD. i kind of wanted another piece, but i didn't see anyone else going up for seconds, so i stayed put.

then, hepped up on all that sugar, fat and deliciousness, it was back to dancing!

eventually, the DJs had to pack up and head out but, not to be deterred, folks made their own music. dan, t-po and their musical-theatre pals gathered 'round the piano and an impromptu karaoke session began. tim and i stayed for a bit, but slowly gave into our weariness and called it a night. i bid the fellas adieu and we all arranged to meet up the following day for an afternoon at the thermal pool followed by a group outing to culture night. i was very much looking forward to both.

i got back to the guesthouse tired but wired. and just… really happy.

with lady gaga reverberating in my brain, i washed my face, brushed my teeth and hopped into bed, going over the day's events as i drifted off to sleep and trying to predict what the next day's get-naked-at-the-pool extravaganza would entail...

iceland tales: the wedding -- part one

even though it totally wasn't planned, it's kind of fitting that i'm posting this entry today -- it's been exactly one month since ericanddan said "i do" in reykjavik.

i remember waking up on the morning of the wedding and wishing i could just fast-forward through the day to get to the ceremony and reception. this day was a big deal -- two people i love dearly, who love each other so profoundly and who were so obviously put on this earth to be together, would be getting married -- and i knew it was going to be one enormous, heart-swelling good time. i can honestly say i've never been as excited about a wedding as i was about this one. i was looking forward to hanging out with my friends, old and new, and to finally witnessing this magical, wonderful event i'd first heard about nearly a year prior.

after a morning and early afternoon spent touring around town with my pals linda and tim (who'd also flown in), it was time to get ready. as many of you know, deciding what to wear was one of my pre-departure sources of anxiety. given the climate and the forecast, i opted for pants and dressy boots in lieu of a dress and heels. and, by the time we all headed outside to wait for our cab (fun fact: cabs in reykjavik charge by time, not distance… so, if you order a car for 3:30pm, the meter starts clicking at 3:30pm whether you're in it yet or not), i felt pretty good about what i had on. gunnar, who'd booked our ride for us, came out to see us off. he told me i looked beautiful (so sweet!), and then asked that i give his best wishes to the boys.

the wedding was being held in the lobby of ericanddan's hotel, the grand. i remember when they told me it was going to be in the lobby -- i was surprised because: 1. it's a lobby, 2. i'd been in the lobby and couldn't see where exactly they'd be able to set up the ceremony (at the bar? next to the brochure rack? in front of the reception desk?), and 3. the hotel's lobby is in an atrium that has windows from guest rooms overlooking the whole space… so, conceivably, people staying in those rooms would be able to open their curtains, pull up their chairs and watch the proceedings while snacking on skyr.

next to the main hotel-reception area, there was an open, ceremony-friendly space with an enormous wall of stained glass, and ericanddan initially thought of getting married there, in front of it. but, i was told, the idea was nixed because it would have meant that the inevitable wealth of wedding photos (from pros and amateurs alike) would wind up being backlit.

imagine my further surprise when we arrived at the hotel on the wedding day to find that the ceremony was going to be held… in front of the giant stained-glass windows. turns out, overcast skies meant the lighting would be fine, and rows of white chairs were waiting to be filled with the elated bums of ericanddan's friends and family.

there was some time before the ceremony, so we hung out at the hotel bar (also in the lobby) and chatted with other guests until it was time to gather and sit. as we all took our seats, one thing became evident: ericanddan know a lot of people who love photography. there were cameras everywhere, and i knew the day would be well-documented so, regrettably in hindight, i kept my camera in my lap and only snapped a few pictures. (i kicked myself in the days that followed, believe me.)

t-po provided the music and, the minute she started strumming her guitar and singing, i felt tears rise in my eyes. in addition to the loveliness of the song, i was suddenly hit with the emotion of the moment and was a little knocked out by the love i could feel filling the room. everyone turned towards the rear of the chairs set-up as eric and dan walked in together and, thankfully, i saw that mine was not the only teary face. a LOT of people were crying… which i found incredibly moving. and seeing ericanddan's respective parents fully in tears because of their unrelenting joy was really, really beautiful. i might not have taken a photo of it -- frankly, i think that might have been weird -- but it was an image instantly captured by the camera of my mind and will reside there forever. anyway, i tried not to look directly at ericanddan because i knew if i did i'd immediately start sobbing.

a kooky-and-eccentric-in-the-best-possible-way minister named bryndís presided over the ceremony, which was quick and spirited and filled with love and happiness. before long, the fiancés became husbands, sealed the deal with a kiss and turned to face their loving entourage of 40+ friends and family. again, i knew that i'd be hit with choking sobs if i looked at either of them as they passed me (i was seated on an aisle), so i tried to hide behind my camera for a few seconds and then made sure to look at them without actually looking in their eyes. i know i'd be a goner if i did, and i could already feel my chin starting to quiver. so, i suddenly became very interested in, oh, their shoes and their lapels and their ties. you know, looking at them without really seeing them. all i know is that, holding hands and smiling from ear to ear, they just looked so blissfully, ridiculously happy, and i was so filled with love for them both, that keeping those tears inside was seriously challenging.

now, because all of this was happening in the lobby of the hotel -- which was still open for business, still checking in guests, still filled with people coming and going -- by the time the boys were walking up the aisle as newlyweds, a crowd of onlookers had gathered. when we, the wedding party, all turned to watch ericanddan exit, an unexpected audience stood waiting. at first, i thought it was very sweet that so many people had decided to honour the event… and then i was hit a deep pang of panic.

as i looked at all the strangers watching, almost as if in slow motion, i had this sudden fear that someone somewhere in the crowd might completely ruin this wonderful, loving thing that had just happened by making some kind of snide or ignorant or cruel remark as ericanddan, still holding hands, made their way towards the elevators. it was a good 10-15 second walk for the fellas, past at least a few dozen folks, so if anyone wanted to be hurtful they'd have ample opportunity.

at the precise moment i had these thoughts, i saw ericanddan walking hand-in-hand past a family who looked like they might be american (they were all sporting T-shirts from U.S. universities and sports teams). it was a couple who looked like they might be in their late-30s or so, and their kids, all of whom looked under 12. one of them, a boy of about eight or nine, was staring at the grooms as they approached, and i kind of held my breath, hoping he would behave himself and just keep quiet.

and he did.

but he also did something that was so subtle and simple but so beautiful and unbelievably moving that the tears i'd been trying so hard to hold back almost exploded forth from my eyes the instant he did it.

because as ericanddan passed this boy… he started to clap.

okay, where was i?

the festival is over, i'm done seeing films... but i still have a bunch of TIFF-related writing to get finished.

i'm hoping to do that all tonight, as i simultaneously watch the emmy awards, so that my to-be-written slate is cleared by the morning.

and THEN... back to iceland tales. i swear.

grab some snacks, take a pee break...

yes, i know i'm waaaay behind in my blogging. i'm waaaay behind in all my writing, as a matter of fact. blame the film festival. and i'm not gonna lie -- i won't be doing any real writing until sunday afternoon at the earliest. i've got a full day of screenings tomorrow, and my last one on sunday morning.

the iceland tales will resume once the fest is done. and i know i need to get those entries done because i already feel some of the details evaporating from my memory as the days pass.

in the meantime, i offer you this tiny TIFF morsel: at my film yesterday, i sat next to an old man who reeked SO UNBELIEVABLY STRONGLY of cigarettes -- as though he were made of ashtrays -- that the odour actually burned itself into my nostrils and i smelled him for the rest of the day.

iceland tales: coming soon

as an FYI, lest you think the telling of tales from reykjavik is done, there's more on the way.

still to come: the wedding, getting naked at the pool, and all the culture night shenanigans! plus, i'm sure, more feelings about it all.

please stand by...

iceland tales: that night

after returning from the Worst Tour EVAH, i quickly washed my face, changed clothes and got ready for ericanddan's rehearsal dinner. it was being held at icelandic fish and chips, an organic eatery a blissfully short five-or-so-minute walk from the studio where i was staying. the dinner started at 6pm but, thankfully, i'd warned the boys in advance that i would likely be arriving late. and i did.

just after 6:30pm, i walked into the restaurant and saw… nothing. i looked around for eric or dan or anyone familiar, but saw only random diners. i stopped one of the waitresses and said that i was there for the rehearsal dinner, hoping she'd direct me to some secret party room, all the while mentally panicking that i'd somehow made a terrible mistake and shown up at the wrong place or at the wrong time.

"oh yes," she said. "follow me."

she led me through the restaurant towards the back and, as we neared a big set of thick, black curtains, i could hear the distinct sound of a large group of celebratory people coming from the other side. the waitress stopped at the curtains, parted them and i walked through.

cue: needle scratching across a record as the curtains closed behind me and i found myself standing in front of a room full of people.

for a moment, time felt like it stood still.

i heard "VICKIE!" and quickly scanned the tables for ericanddan. all the tables looked full, and i wasn't sure where to go or what to do… so i opted for a weak attempt at humour.

"i'll just stand here awkwardly until someone tells me where to sit," i said.

eric promptly got up, came over, hugged me and ushered me to a table where his parents and members of his extended family were seated. he introduced me to his mom and dad and said, "this is vickie. you'll love her!", then returned to the grooms' table. i saw his younger brother, whom i'd never met before in person but with whom i'd been facebook friends for a couple of years, and was very excited to finally get a chance to (as he put it) interact with him live, in three dimensions. but that would have to wait until later in the evening. so, we grinned and waved.

unfortunately, due to my unpunctual arrival, i missed the salad course, but there was enough left over on our table's big, communal salad plate that i still managed to eat some of whatever it was. i was so hungry by then that i would have happily eaten just about anything so, despite my tendency to pause and ask "what is this?" before diving into something as potentially risky as a bed of unidentifiable greens and vegetables in sauce (did i mention the room was VERY dark? it was VERY dark), i dove in. and it was delicious. i think it was a spinach-esque salad with julienned mango and some kind of zesty dressing. 

as i ate, i chatted with eric's parents, who could not have been more adorable. i kept glancing around the room, making note of all the people i recognized from facebook photos, as well as the ones i'd never before seen. there were a number of people i was eager to meet and, as the night went on, one by one, i met them. everyone was delightful.

the main course was brought out on big platters -- one for each table. on them were more enormous chunks of battered fish than i have ever before seen in a single place at one time. it was cod-a-go-go! and, not unlike the parable of the (fittingly) loaves and the fishes, there seemed to be a neverending supply. accompanying the fish were bowls of oven-baked fries and dishes of "skyronnaise" -- plain skyr mixed with different seasonings (in lieu of traditional tartar sauce). beer and wine were being served, but i opted for a "white tea with peach" drink, which turned out to be cold water lightly infused with white tea and peach flavours… but it hit the spot. the meal, topped off with a skyr-and-berry-crumble dessert, was great.

at one point, eric's dad stood up to give a toast. not surprisingly, it was filled with warmth and love, and i couldn't help but be moved. at a time when so many people are still filled with fear and bigotry and hatred, the significance of this night and that speech and the wedding that brought so many of us thousands of miles across an ocean was quietly, subtly driven home to me. and, as lovely as the speech was, i was sort of glad when he finished because i was getting all teary and i thought, "if he keeps going with this, i'm going to be bawling shortly." ;-)

once everyone was done eating, the mingling began. i finally snagged a chance to sit and chat with eric's younger brother for a while and loved him instantly. actually, i don't know that there were any people i met that night that i didn't immediately like. and, really, i suppose i shouldn't have been surprised. it's not too often you have friends who have friends you absolutely cannot stand (though, it can -- and does -- happen). i was once again reminded that i'd made the right call in heading to iceland early so i could be there for events like this. as with the rest of the shenanigans that would unfold in the coming days, it was a distinct, unique bonding experience for for those of us in attendance.

as the evening wound down, eric's brother and another friend of theirs were heading to reykjavik's only "official" gay club for some dancing, and i was invited to join them. suddenly feeling old and square and improperly dressed for a night on the town, i declined… but regretted it later. after everyone exchanged goodbyes outside the restaurant, i did walk them halfway there, then wished them goodnight (and great dancing) and headed back to my guesthouse.

smiling all the way.

*  *  *  *  *  *

now, i know what you're thinking:

"wait. is that it??? where's the big life-changing-story you promised us?! i didn't read anything up there about some kind of lightning bolt or epic shift or anything that would even remotely resemble a life-changing event! what gives?!"

and, see, that's the thing. 

it happened. 

in a mere moment.

there *was* a lightning bolt.

but, in the same way that it's not obvious when you read the story, it wasn't obvious to me as it was happening. i certainly felt something profound, but i had no idea what it was. in fact, it wasn't until a few days later that i even realized what had happened and what a huge deal it actually was.

in writing today's entry, i started and stalled many, many times. i realized i sort of wrote myself into a corner with all the lead-up and build-up over the previous "iceland tales" entries, and quickly developed a severe case of performance anxiety. how could anything live up to that kind of hype? then, when i sat down to write, i suddenly felt very self-conscious and thought, "how can i write about something so deeply personal and yet do it in a way that keeps everything private while still conveying what happened, how and why?"

as regular readers of this blog know, 2010 was (for at least the first eight months, anyway) a difficult year. and, likewise, regular readers know that i often get antsy about oversharing, or sharing overly intimate issues, with whomever happens to surf past this blog. it makes me uneasy. so, when that kind of stuff comes up, i tend to write about it in metaphor to maintain some kind of veil of privacy.

such was the case with an entry on wounds and healing that i wrote about a month before my trip.

and, in many ways, that entry makes for excellent prerequisite reading in relation to this post today.

because, when i packed up for iceland, i went with just such a wound. 

it had been present for more than a year and a half -- probably closer to four years, if i really count carefully. the veryveryveryshort version of the story: i fell for someone who didn't fall back (at all), and my revelation of those feelings had sad and painful repercussions i had not expected. though, perhaps, i should have. it was extremely hard, it sliced a deep wound in my heart, and it came at a time in my life when i was already struggling with self-worth and self-esteem after a year without any work… so everything kind of merged together into one epic sense of personal and professional failure. and i was left to deal with it alone. 

gradually, i found help and started feeling better. i declared my own new year on september 8, 2010, and, soon, the tide began to turn. things improved. work started coming in -- a trickle at first, then a stream, then the river that's been flowing for the past four and a half months. so much had changed and improved but, no matter what i tried or how much time passed or how much closure i thought i had achieved, that wound on my heart would still crack open, bleed anew and scab over. time and again. even as recently as a few weeks before my trip, it was unexpectedly torn once more. to be honest, despite getting smaller and less raw with each passing scab, i thought it was a wound that might never fully heal.

then, i went to reykjavik.

and, in that moment when i walked through the black curtains at the rehearsal dinner and time felt as though it stood still, the wound healed.

completely.

as i said, i didn't even realize it at the time but, from that night onwards, the wound was gone. VANISHED. not just scabbed over, healed and GONE. by the time i got on the plane to head home, there was no sign of it anywhere anymore. at all.

and i was completely stunned.

i had spent so long picking at it -- immersed in self-blame and self-criticism and guilt and sadness and endless loops of woulda/coulda/shouldas -- that it was like i'd forgotten how NOT to do those things. they'd become part of me. the wound had become part of me.

but all it took was one trip overseas, one millisecond in time and one look at a face i'd never seen before… and that was that.

everything disappeared.

in the days that followed, the wound stayed gone. in the weeks that have passed since my return, the wound has stayed gone. i can't find it. i'm actually unable to access the feelings i'd had about it for so long. i even sat down and purposely *tried* to reach those feelings, because i was certain they must still exist somewhere and that i'd find them again if i just started picking hard enough. but there was, and is, nothing left of that wound at which to pick.

healed.

for a long while, i wondered if i'd done permanent damage to my heart by giving so much of it away to someone who didn't want any of it.

but, that night, i not only discovered that i still had heart left, i found out it still works.

i found out *i* still work.

and that was pretty amazing.

while you wait...

... for the next episode of "iceland tales" (coming very soon!), might i interest you in some photo-blog photos?

dear psycho: go away, i don't want to be your friend...

i have now run into the psycho at the end of the hall twice in three days.

both times, she was with her new puppy.

both times, she was chirping at it in the most inane baby voice i have ever heard.

tonight, i saw them outside the building as i was coming home from a day out. i actually considered walking around the block just so i wouldn't have to ride the elevator with the psycho. i don't want anything to do with her, and i REALLY didn't want to have to engage in small talk.

but i didn't walk around the block because i was tired.

and, so, i walked into the building -- and subsequently rode the elevator -- with psycho, who is obviously *on* her meds right now and decided to chat with me to tell me ALL about what a "proud mommy" she is because the puppy hasn't peed or pooped in the apartment for the whole THREE DAYS she's had him. she told me how he won't leave her side, how he never barks, blah blah blah blah.

all i could think was, "omigod, stop talking to me. YOU ARE A MENACE. we are not friends. YOU TRIED TO BURN DOWN THE BUILDING. i am not interested in being chatty with you. why didn't i walk around the block so i could avoid this?!?!"

i was polite, but quiet. and, weirdly, nervous... like she might snap at any second. when she asked me if i was allergic to dogs, i said no, and remarked that i was pretty sure poodles are hypoallergenic anyway. that launched her into an animated monologue about some friend of hers who's allergic to poodles. i tried not to make eye contact with her, but made note of the five shades of crazy still seeping subtly through her trashy club-girl appearance.

we got to our floor and she said, "he always races me to my door. WATCH!"

the elevator doors opened, she yipped "come on!" to the puppy and they both ran down the hall. in my head i thought, "ah. this explains the thudding up and down the hallway i've been hearing for the past few days."

i did not bid her goodnight. i didn't say anything as she thudded down the hall to her door. i went to my door, opened it and went inside. then locked it.

save for her psychotic episodes, i've never really seen much of psycho in the years i've lived here. (though, i've certainly heard her ranting and railing and screaming.) she was often gone for weeks at a time. but i fear the puppy means she'll now be at home a lot more. if not all the time.

i do not wish to keep running into her. i do not wish to keep chatting with her. and i really really REALLY do not wish for her to think i'm a neighbour upon whose door she can knock.

like, EVER.

let's all go to the lobby!

okay, yes, i am behind on my iceland tale-telling. i know this. i know i left off with a cliffhanger and that people are now w-a-i-t-i-n-g to see what happens next. but, like any good cliffhanger, this one will leave you waiting a little longer, i'm afraid.

it's kind of an important entry and i don't want to write something quickly just for the sake of slapping up the next post, but i haven't had time to sit down properly to think about what i want to say and how best to say it. and i don't know that i'll have time before sunday night.

see, TIFF started today, so the film-going -- and subsequent film reviewing -- begins now. and mom's birthday is on sunday, so YB and i are taking her out for the day. ruminating on iceland and change and new beginnings has been put on the back burner for at least another day or two.

in the meantime, i offer you a few quick updates on some other stories we've been following:

* the psycho at the end of my hall -- you know, the one who poured sugar all over the hall last month, tried to set the building on fire in june and was removed by police in the middle of the night last november -- got a puppy. when i was leaving my apartment this morning, she and her new, apricot-coloured fluffball of a poodle were coming down the hall from the elevator. the psycho seemed fine and happy, and was all chipper, speaking in baby voice to the dog. "come on! come on! let's go! let's go inside!" i didn't even look at psycho, but i did look down at the puppy to say hi to it. on the one hand, maybe having a pet will calm her down, help her focus and teach her some semblance of responsibility. on the other hand, i now worry about the well-being of that little pup in those seriously unbalanced hands.

* i got an A on my muppets piece. :-D

* my job at the publishing company has, for the time being, officially ended. yesterday was my last day and, save for the odd day over the next six to eight weeks (when i might be called into the office to do the odd one-off day of work), i won't be back there until the end of october or beginning of november. hopefully for another five week assignment that turns into a few months. i'm really glad to have the time off, but i do worry about two things: 1. that the budget may turn out to be too tight to have me back for another extended stretch, and 2. that i will somehow squander this next month and a half and have little to show for all that time once it's up.

* i have been thinking about a return visit to iceland. still so much to see. and i do love the cold.

* speaking of, fall is in the air. :-D

* since coming home from iceland, i have been sleeping better than i have in years. i credit this to the life shift, which i'll write about... very soon...

iceland tales - intermission: four more fast facts

* the clock radio in my studio displayed military time. i particularly enjoyed when it hit 0:01.

* i bought four flavours of skyr: blueberry (quite good), strawberry (even better), something that -- based on the illustration -- looked like it might be raspberry and passion fruit (not so great), and a mystery tropical flavour that i never got to open but gave to my friends on my last day.

* cats are everywhere in reykjavik. most actually belong to people, and are out and about on the streets wearing collars and tags. they're all friendly and i lost count of how many belly rubs i gave while exploring the city. (to cats, to be clear.)

* i didn't watch any TV at all for the six days i was in iceland. none. that's the longest i've gone without watching TV in, oh, probably 30 years.

iceland tales: worst tour EVAH!

skógafoss, where we had 15 minutes to look around.

the morning after my wonderful golden circle tour, i got up, had another hearty breakfast and once again suited up for the outdoors.

the previous night, after i'd returned home, i ran into my guesthouse neighbours (recall: they'd gone on a south coast tour that day). i asked them what the south coast was like and they said their tour was AMAZING. that, despite moments of torrential rain, the scenery was beautiful, their tour was terrific and they were able to see and experience all sorts of great things.

suddenly, my expectations for my own tour were elevated. perhaps too high.

here is the dreamy description, taken word for word from the company's website:

The South coast of Iceland has so much to offer you. We start by driving south on Highway 1. We explain to you the geology of Iceland and show you many of the amazing and exciting places that have emerged in Iceland in both the past and present. We stop and look at the magnificent waterfalls Seljalandsfoss and Skógafoss, you will see from the distance Iceland’s most famous volcanic glacier Eyjafjallajökull that erupted in the summer 2010. Our next destination is the small town of Vik, there we take a longer stop and get a good lunch and a visit to the local wool shop before we head back, following the coastline and drive to a beautiful black sandy beach called Reynisfjara. There we can get close to the basaltic rock pillars that you saw from you lunch table at Vik, and there you can also see the power that the sea has on the land and the fabulous prints it leaves on the landscape. Next we visit Dyrhólaey which is home for several thousand of puffins, which are coming here every summer for nesting. (Dyrhólaey is subject to preservation during a part of the year, then this stop is no longer available).

After we have absorbed this beautiful coastal scenery and taken lots of photographs we head out towards the glacier Sólheimajökull. We drive right up to the glacier’s edge and get to touch it. After a full day it is time to return to Reykjavik, taking with us beautiful images and memories from the south coast of Iceland, a place that perhaps you will visit again one day. PS. If there is something on the way that you want to take a better look at, or if you have any special wishes about something you want to see, don’t hesitate to ask your driver guide to stop or give you more information.

[edited to add: OMG! i posted the above description by copying and pasting without re-reading it. THEY CHANGED IT! within the past two days, they've changed the tour description to remove the references to the power plant and to alter the reference to eyjafjallajökull! i wish i'd saved the previous version!] 

sounds pretty spectacular, no?

i sure thought so. which is why i forked over about $115 and bought myself a ticket. it was my one big splurge but, i thought, when am i ever going to have the chance to see those sorts of things again?

the day got off to a rocky start when my guide -- dooley, wearing sunglasses and a spray-on tan -- picked me up nearly 20 minutes late. if you recall, all tour companies require guests to be standing outside their hotels and guesthouses, ready for pick-up, at 8:30am. so, i was standing outside my guesthouse at 8:30am, ready for pick-up… and then continued to stand, waiting, for NEARLY AN HOUR.

once 9:15am rolled around, i started to think maybe the tour had been cancelled and, because i had no internet access and was not reachable by phone, i'd simply not been informed. i was going to give the tour company until 9:30am and then give up, head back inside and make alternate plans for the day.

at 9:20am, dooley pulled up in his SUV. no apologies about being late.

"i was beginning to think you weren't coming," i said.

"no, no," he said, "i just had to wait for some people."

(later in the day, he changed his story to having had to wait for his boss to deliver him the credit-card swiper. whatever.)

there was one spot left in the SUV by the time i was picked up -- right in the back. there were seven of us on the tour, total: me; a mother and her twentysomething daughter from washington, D.C.; three tourists from china; and one british guy who rode shotgun and, it seemed, was the only person with whom dooley was actually interested in interacting.

much to my chagrin, dooley did not have a radio mic, so he just started talking as we drove and i was already struggling to hear him by the time we got on the highway.

and then, itinerary item by itinerary item, dooley dropped the ball. i could rant for pages about how different the actual tour was than the one promised on the company website, but here are the lowlights:

* we didn't "visit" the power plant, we drove past it on the highway and he pointed it out. as in, "over there is the power plant." that was it.

* there was no "sharing the folklore" (per the website) as we drove; dooley told random anecdotes with long stretches of silence in between.

* en route to the south coast, which is where we all wanted to go and why we'd all booked this effing tour!, he inexplicably pulled off the highway to take us through two nondescript, modern small towns where he literally drove up and down the streets (which looked exactly like any small-town street you'd see in north america), pointed at buildings and said, "that's the bank. there's the insurance company. this is the bakery… they have good food!" i am not joking. how any of that was tour-worthy was beyond me, and it wasted a good 40 or so eye-rolling minutes.

* during our pointless sojourn in one of these small towns, and during one of the frequent periods of painful silence in the SUV, i piped up with a question. "do you think we'll be able to see puffins today?" i asked. "what?" dooley replied, and i repeated myself, adding that i'd heard the puffins had already migrated elsewhere. "oh," said dooley. "i'll talk about puffins later." apparently, unbeknownst to me, questions aren't allowed unless they're asked at the designated time based on theme. so, my question was dismissed.



* we didn't "come into contact with iceland's most famous volcanic glacier, eyjafjallajökull," we couldn't even see it as we drove past it on the highway! it was miles away!

* our first real stop, after more than two hours of driving, was skógafoss waterfall, where dooley said, "i think we'll only spend 15 minutes here. that way you have more time at the black sandy beaches." first of all, i lost count of how many times he repeated the phrase "black sandy beaches" this day. he made it seem like our lives would change when we reached the "black sandy beaches." that the "black sandy beaches" would be epic, and that we would spend vast amount times of exploring them. so, to recap: 40 minutes driving through boring small towns; 15 minutes at a gorgeous waterfall.



* as if we hadn't already squandered enough time, when we stopped for lunch at vik, it was at the tacky roadside diner where every other tour bus stops, which meant really long lines for things as authentically icelandic as hamburgers and fries. wow. thanks for showing us the real culture of the south coast, dooley! the "wool shop" mentioned in the tour description is, in fact, a souvenir shop that happens to sell woolen goods like sweaters, mittens and the like. dooley didn't give the group a time limit for this particular pit stop, so the three tourists from china lounged over their lunches FOR AN HOUR. i was done in 15 minutes (i'd brought my lunch along), the two washington women were finished in just over a half-hour and the brit at around the 40-minute mark. eventually, after an hour, we were all sitting in the SUV ready to go (and i was fuming by now)… and we couldn't find dooley. he finally turned up 10 minutes later and said, "oh! you're all ready to go!"



* when we got to dyrhólaey -- aka: the promised land of "black sandy beaches" -- we were dropped off in the parking lot and given half an hour to explore. that was actually fine, since the beach wasn't nearly as breathtaking as dooley would have had us believe, and there were puffins roosting high on the cliffs, but we didn't hear any of the "stories" promised on the website, let alone see or hear anything about the lighthouse. the lighthouse was a teeny spec atop a cliff miles away!



the skies matched my mood by late afternoon.

most disappointing of all, we didn't go anywhere near sólheimajökull... despite the website tour description claiming we'd not only drive right up to it, but step on it, as well. when dooley announced (after the beach) that we'd be heading back to reykjavik, one of the washington women on the tour -- who was just as fed up as i was with the sub-par quality of our experience thus far -- defiantly asked when we'd be going to the glacier.

"you want to go the glacier?" dooley asked, as if she'd just asked when we'd be stopping to buy heroin. i was feeling combative at that point, so i pointed out that a visit to the glacier was supposed to be part of the tour and was even cited on the website description. "oh, is that on the program for this tour?" he asked. i swear i wanted to climb over the seats in front of me to smack him in the back of the head.

dooley started behaving as though he'd be doing us a huuuge favour by taking us to the glacier, even though, you know, we PAID to go there and it was supposed to be on the agenda for the day. after wearily telling us it would be an extra two hours of driving -- one hour each way, in and back -- to get near the glacier, and that we'd then have a 20-minute walk from the parking lot to the glacier itself, he said, "so, do we all agree as a group that we will not be going?"

how could we decide anything "as a group" when none of us knew each other? the washington women had specifically called the tour company two days prior to confirm a glacier visit (and were told, "yep! you'll visit the glacier!"), so they were probably the most peeved of anyone. i was stunned at dooley's rather lax approach to guiding the tour, especially given the excellent guide i'd had the day before.

given that it was late in the afternoon already (and i had ericanddan's rehearsal dinner to attend that evening), and the weather was rainy, and two of the chinese tourists were wearing inappropriate footwear for any kind of hiking, we -- as a group -- agreed. then, clearly anxious about the potential repercussions, dooley said, "so, no one's going to complain and ask for their money back because we didn't see the glacier, right?"

i couldn't believe it.

one of the washington women leaned over to me and whispered no, that we'd just nail him in online reviews. heh.

so, dooley kept driving. and, really, didn't do much of anything else, tour-guide-wise.

we stopped for coffee and a bathroom break on the way back into the city and, when we did, dooley disappeared. those of us on the tour were all back in the SUV, sitting and waiting to leave (having quickly peed and procured snacks or what have you), and he was nowhere to be found. for 10 minutes! one of the chinese tourists angrily got out of the SUV, slammed the door shut and went looking for him but had no luck. once again, dooley magically returned a short while and acted surprised that we were all ready to go.

then, best of all, during the completely silent, 90-minute drive back to reykjavik (no commentary, no stories, just stone silence), while he was driving us on the highway, dooley pulled out his cell phone made a call!

please note: this is not only unsafe but against the law in iceland.

i was so shocked that i tried to take a photo, just for proof. i didn't want him to know i was taking his picture, so i tried to be covert about it and wound up shooting him in the rear-view mirror. this was the best i could do:

our tour guide, talking on his cell phone to someone much more important
than his seven paying customers.

by the time dooley dropped me off, i was SO ready for the day -- and the tour -- to be DONE. i had a rehearsal dinner to get to, dammit!, and i knew i'd have a much better time there than i did with this unpleasant fellow who clearly had more important things to do than to actually guide the tour he'd been assigned. i got out of the SUV and said "thanks," but it was solely for the ride. dooley had basically provided really expensive taxi service to the south coast, and little more.

i will say this: we did see puffins. so, for that alone, the tour was not a complete write-off. and i did get to see more of the country's beautiful scenery, so that was good. had there been no puffins and no scenery, though… there would have been tears.

walking into my studio, i couldn't wait to get changed and head around the corner to the rehearsal dinner. i was really excited about meeting so many of the people i'd only heard about or seen on facebook before. i knew i'd be late arriving, and i'd warned the grooms of that beforehand.

what i didn't know was how much my life would change, starting that very night. unbeknownst to me at the time, it would be the end of a difficult chapter and the start of a brand new, much better one…

iceland tales - intermission: vah-deo!

while i write about the Worst Tour EVAH, please enjoy this jaunty tourism video from the folks at "inspired by iceland":

iceland tales - intermission: hot dog! we have a weiner!

iceland's most famous restaurant is a hot dog stand.

it's called, in english, "the hot dog stand."

and it was a five-minute walk from my studio.

as such, i ate there whenever i needed (or wanted) a quick, cheap and easy-to-eat-while-standing-outside meal. once i'd sampled its wares, i also took other visiting friends there and everyone enjoyed it.

the place, which is a teeny, tiny red-and-white metal shack near the waterfront, usually staffed by one or two attendants, serves one thing and one thing only: hot dogs. no fries. no bags of chips. nothing else, just their signature weiners. or, in icelandic, pylsurs.

rumour has it the dogs are made from a combo of beef and lamb, which contributes to their tastiness, but i have no idea if that's true. and i'm sure "lamb" and "beef" are looooosely stretched terms for what's actually inside the casings: we all know hot dogs are made from eyelids and earlobes, not prime cuts of meat.

at the hot dog stand, you can get your hot dog with your choice of five toppings (which they apply for you): mustard, ketchup, mayo, fried onions and/or raw onions. you can also buy one size of fountain drink. no ice. total for a dog and a drink: 470 ISK (about $4).

there's one picnic bench next to the shack, with little rounded racks into which you stand your dog while you fidget with your camera or sip your beverage. otherwise, it's standing room only… and, boy, are there tons of people standing.

no matter what time of day i passed by or stopped, there was a line. sometimes, a really long one. tourists, to be sure, but plenty of locals, as well. to me, that's the measure of quality: if folks who live there enjoy eating there, it's not just a tourist trap geared at ripping you off in the name of novelty.

not sure how many dogs i ate over the course of my visit, but it was the site of my last meal in reykjavik before i left for the airport.

iceland tales: touring the golden circle

first thing in the morning on my second day in reykjavik, i got up early, ate a hearty breakfast, suited up in about a half-dozen layers, grabbed my cameras and headed outside to wait for the pick-up for my first tour: the golden circle. the weather was cold but crisp and clear, and i was psyched.

the golden circle is the tour that just about everyone who visits iceland takes. it hits a good number of natural wonders -- thingvellir national park, gullfoss waterfall, the geysers -- and every single tour company in the country offers guided visits there. since i figured i'd be spending the weekend *in* the city (for the wedding, culture night and hanging out with fellow wedding guests who'd be arriving later in the week), i booked my "let's explore the great outdoors!" tours for the start of my visit. because, if i was going all the way over to iceland, i wanted to be sure i would behold breathtaking nature!

as i stood near the stoop of the guesthouse, i was joined by two other couples, who were staying in two of the other studios. one couple were older, maybe in their 60s, and from vancouver; the other were two NYC lady gays in their late-40s. they, too, had all come outside to wait for pick-up for tours. coincidentally, we were all using the same tour company, but my quartet of neighbours were all headed to the south coast that day.

what's interesting about the mornings in reykjavik is the traffic. the streets fill with one touring van after another, from myriad tour companies, all out gathering up guests for the day. reykjavik excursions, iceland excursions, iceland guided tours, gateway to iceland, iceland horizons, and so on and so on. in fact, there are so many of them (and they all look so much alike) that you're actually instructed to make sure you get on the right one with the right company.

all the companies require that guests be waiting outside their hotels/guesthouses/wherever between 8:30 and 9am for pick-up… so, for that half hour, all over the city, tiny clusters of people stand on sidewalks to be collected by small vans. or big buses.

when our "gateway to iceland" van pulled up, the jovial, white-haired, bearded driver hopped out with a clipboard, looked at all of us and said, "okay, let's make this really easy. which one of you is going to the golden circle today?"

i shot my hand up in the air.

"great. you sit up front with me!"

i hopped in and rode shotgun as we criss-crossed the city, filling empty seats as we went. i learned that our driver, who spoke with barely a hint of an accent, was actually the owner of the company and, because i was sitting up front, he and i chatted about the city as we drove. "you're getting the city tour for free!" he said, smiling.

then, our van stopped at a rendezvous point where we each divided into different vans based on our tour destination. i bid adieu to the group from the guesthouse and got into a larger van, where i snagged the Best Seat Ever -- a single seat right behind the sliding side door, so i had TONS of leg room and a great big window through which to view the landscape as we traveled.

once all was said and done and we'd picked up everyone for the golden circle (14 of us in all, with two toddlers whose presence made me worry our long drive might be filled with tears and wailing), our guide -- a plucky older woman named ragna -- slipped on her radio mic, introduced herself and we headed off for a day filled with history, stories and beautiful scenery.

our first stop -- thingvellir national park -- was, for me, probably the least exciting destination of the day… but i say that speaking relatively, since it was still absolutely breathtaking and made for some great photo ops.

we stepped out of the van, which was parked amid a sea of other touring vans and buses, and ragna led us to a big topographical map of the area. she explained what stuff was, and where, and how the area had been used for iceland's first parliament centuries ago. she encouraged us to try to stick together as a group (so no one would get lost or left behind), cautioned us about wandering off the marked paths (since the ground underneath our feet could be unstable and we might find ourselves unknowingly stepping into a sinkhole) and then led us to a viewing platform overlooking the entire park.

she pointed to a small church way in the distance and said that would be our rendezvous point for a pick-up in about 40 minutes. she made sure we all saw the path that would lead us to the van, and then sent us on our way to explore.

as i wandered, i tried to absorb as much of what was around me as possible. sure, there were a lot of tourists, but they would occasionally bottleneck at certain points… leaving the rest of the park wide open. there were times that i distinctly felt the vastness of the land, and looked around to realize i was the only person in a given spot. i improvised tri-pods and used the timer on my camera to snap a few self-portraits, and i was so glad i'd decided to bring YB's canon rebel along, as well. the photos don't do justice to the splendor of the country, but a nicer camera did help.

once the group reassembled at the meeting spot, we loaded into the van and drove to a café /gift store on the outskirts of the park. this would be our first coffee/pee break. there had been pay toilets at the main thingvellir entrance, but ragna took us to a place where we could pee for free.

sort of.

the deal at this café is: if you buy something at the café or gift shop, the toilets are free. if you don't, they request a 100 ISK (about 80¢) fee. thing is, it's all on the honour system -- there's no attendant collecting the washroom money, nor locked doors that will only open once you've paid. there's essentially a collection box outside the main doors of the men's and women's restrooms, with a note encouraging payment.

plenty of folks went in and out without paying, but i dropped in the required fee. i figured it was the right thing to do, a very affordable price for very clean facilities and a way of putting forth some good energy.

next, we drove about 45 minutes to gullfoss waterfall, THE major waterfall in iceland and, again, the one everyone visits. this was exciting.

first of all, getting around the waterfall area -- up and down the paths to the falls -- gave my teva hiking boots a great workout. the paths were rocks or gravel, with grassy viewing areas along the way, so i was glad i had good footwear to take me where i wanted to go. i saw some other tourists -- who, perhaps, had envisioned more of a built-up, concrete-centric, niagara falls-esque park -- in dress shoes and flip flops (!) and wondered how they fared on the climb back up to civilization.

anyway…

the falls were gorgeous and there was mist everywhere. i don't think i've ever wiped my camera lens as much as i did in the 40 or so minutes i walked around the raging waters. i took a lot of pictures but, again, they can't quite fully capture what it was like to be there, hearing the roar of the falls and feeling the cool mist. i also wished it had been sunnier; the grey skies dulled what might have otherwise been really phenomenal photos.

i walked down to the area immediately around the falls and was amazed at the complete lack of security! there were no giant fences or walls or signs warning of impending doom, as one might find in niagara falls, just a narrow rope at knee-level. on the other side of that rope: gullfoss waterfall and the potential to very easily plummet to your death. the viewing area down at falls level was basically just an outcropping of rocks, which made for some fun climbing and some spectacular vantage points, but i couldn't help but notice how easy it would be to slip on the rocks and fall in. or, you know, get pushed in. so, save for a couple of self-portraits as close to the rapids as i dared, i kind of kept a safe distance. i really didn't want to be a headline or a statistic all in the name of a great shot.

up near the main entrance to the park area was the big restaurant/gift shop set-up where, we'd been told, we could buy a bowl of iceland's most famous lamb soup. now, i had zero interest in eating lamb, but the soup smelled great and i was tempted to buy a bowl and just eat the vegetables and broth… until i saw that a bowl cost the equivalent of about $12!

erm, no thanks. i opted to sit down in the huge, rustic dining room and eat the power bar i'd packed. as i looked around at my fellow visitors, i actually recognized a couple of people from my flight. yeah, iceland is SMALL… i would also keep seeing people from my flight around reykjavik as the week went on.

once we were all fed, we hopped back into the van for the trip to the geyser park. i got to know some of the folks on our tour -- there was an older couple from the UK, who were very friendly, and a mom and her young daughter from atlanta, who were just as excited as i was at the prospect of petting icelandic horses (which ragna had mentioned as a possibility earlier in the day).

the geyser park was okay but, once you've waited and watched strokkur spew steam into the air (which happens once every three to seven minutes), there isn't a whole lot else to see. we were warned not to reach over the roped paths to put our hands in seemingly innocuous waters -- the average water temperature was about 80 - 100ºC (176 - 212ºF) -- so it was just some meandering along dirt paths from one bubbling hole in the earth to the next. that said, there was one dual pool that was very cool -- fed from the same subterranean chamber, one half of the pool was milky blue and the other was crystal clear.

as we drove out of the geyser park, ragna scanned the roadside fields for horses and stopped when she found a clearing where we could all stand. there were a few horses in the distance, but they didn't seem particularly interested in us.

"just whistle and they'll come over," ragna advised.

so, we all started whistling and clicking and clucking… but nothing happened.

then ragna came over to the fence, whistled once and, presto!, one of the horses lifted its head and began walking over. as soon as it did, a few of its friends followed suit. shortly, we were nose-to-nose with the gentle, fuzzy, beautiful animals, petting them and feeding them big handfuls of grass. everyone took photos and enjoyed this bonus stop (which, it turns out, is actually a common "bonus stop" for many of the tour companies).

our ride back towards reykjavik included two more such stops at craters -- one was at a freaky red-rock cavern-like spot, and the other was at kerio, a 3000-year-old crater best known for being the site of floating björk concert.

at the red-rock crater, our eyes went all screwy due to the colour of our surroundings. as such, rocks that appeared to be bright blue (when i snapped their picture) were revealed to be grey when i looked at the photo later on. as we drove into that crater, ragna told us all to close our eyes and to keep them closed until she instructed us to open them. i closed mine, and wondered why she'd wanted it so -- i feared that she was perhaps driving on some kind perilous road that would have had us all freaking out if we'd seen it.

nope. she just wanted to surprise us with all that mars-like red rock... which, btw, was also porous and, as a result, weighed nothing!

kerio was also impressive. it's huge and deep, and my teva hikers came in handy once again when i trekked through grassy fields to the spot where ragna said i'd be able to get the best photo (she was right, and it was worth the extra walk!).

as we drove back into town, a few members of our tour group napped. it had been a long and tiring day, but one filled with so much awesome stuff to see, and they were clearly pooped. a few (like me) had only arrived the day before, so jet lag was still an issue. nonetheless, ragna kept right on telling the rest of us stories about the area, the landscape, icelandic history and anything else anyone asked about. by the time we were back in reykjavik, i felt like i'd had a thorough iceland primer in the span of one eight-hour journey.

when she dropped me off near my guesthouse, i thanked ragna for a truly excellent day out. i'd had a terrific time, met some nice people and saw things that, a year ago, i never would have dreamed i'd be seeing. throughout the day, i was repeatedly struck by the significance of what was happening -- what it meant for me to be there and what everything felt like. how moved i often was by what i was seeing and experiencing, simply because i was there, seeing and experiencing it. it was one "holy crap, i can't believe this is real" moment after another, in the best possible way and i finished the day feeling great.

too bad the next day's tour would prove to be the antithesis of this one...

iceland tales: reunited… and it feels so good…

as i walked along the quaint streets towards the quaint church along the banks of the quaint pond in the middle of quaint-overload reykjavik, two* thoughts kept running around in my head:

“OMG! I AM IN ICELAND!”

and

“OMG! I AM GOING TO SEE ERICANDDAN!”

(*occasionally with an “OMG! this place is quaint!” chaser.)

it had been three years since we’d last been in the same city together, embarking on joyful misadventures and engaging in posing-related shenanigans. three years! even though they’d moved across america last spring and were now happily ensconced in brookyln instead of los angeles, our dramatically improved proximity to one another did little to enhance the frequency of our visits.

and, really, a lot can happen in three years. people can change. lives can change. there was a part of me that wondered, for a fleeting moment, whether we’d have as much fun now, in iceland in 2011 and amid a flurry of wedding prep, as we did then, in toronto in 2008 and amid a whirlwind of film festivalling. sure, we’d stayed in touch via email and facebook and blogs and the occasional epic phone call… but what if this would turn out to be… different? what if, for whatever reason, the magic we shared on our previous visits would somehow be missing or have changed? i quickly blamed my incessant, interior voice of unreason for those worries, and figured they were simply an annoying and irrational by-product of my trip-induced stress and fatigue.

because, seriously?, i love ericanddan and they love me, and we always, ALWAYS have a blast together. i swatted away the mosquito-like doubt and sat down in the afternoon sun on the front steps of the lutheran free church, took a deep breath of crisp icelandic air and felt really lucky to be there.

as soon as i looked up the street and saw ericanddan walking towards me, my heart did a little flip and i had the urge to immediately leap to my feet and break into a clichéd, movie-reunion sprint… but refrained. though, we did all do a momentary, fake-slo-mo-through-the-meadow run to each other. we hugged long and hard, and then collectively took a moment to absorb the fact that we were in iceland.

together.

for their WEDDING.

OMG!

instantly, three years evaporated and we picked up right where we’d left off. i couldn’t believe (well, yes, i can) how happy i felt to see them – i actually have almost no memory of what we said to each other in those first 10 or 15 minutes because it felt like we were all so excited that the words just kept flying rapidfire out of our mouths as though we only had an hour together and needed to say everything all at once. or, at least, that’s the way i think it was. it’s kind of a giddy blur, to be honest.

i do know they gave me my “welcome to our wedding” gift bag – for those curious about its contents, it contained a disposable camera, lots of funny wedding-related literature, monogrammed M&Ms, some pieces of icelandic candy (if anyone is craving chocolate-coated salted black licorice, reykjavik has you covered!), a bar of volcanic-ash soap and a city map.

the fellas had some wedding-centric errands that needed running, so i decided to tag along – the plan being that we’d sit down to eat afterward and just hang out for a while. we stopped at a waffle van (!), where the guys picked up waffles-to-go. i foolishly declined, thinking i’d be spoiling my impending dinner, but i’m not exaggerating when i say that i regret skipping a waffle TO THIS DAY because that waffle van was nowhere to be found for the remainder of my time in reykjavik, save for its geographically unfortunate cameo appearance on the opposite side of the runner-filled road during the marathon several days later.

anyway…

we walked to the boys’ hotel at the other end of town – thankfully, we’re all seasoned walkers, weren’t fazed by the 3.5km trek and could easily maintain a brisk pace! – and to the large thermal pool/recreation center where they’d be hosting a day-after-we’re-hitched afternoon of warm-water frolicking for anyone who wanted to attend (more on that in a subsequent blog entry).

at the hotel, there were gift bags to be completed and sorted, and a fascinating exercise in passive-aggressive event management on the part of the weirdly flustered hotel staff. suffice it to say, their exchanges with the grooms were repeated variations on the following subtext:

ericanddan: here are the gift bags you said you’d keep at reception for our guests!

hotel staffer of choice: yeeeee-ah, we’d rather not keep all those gift bags at reception, though…

standing in the hotel offices, surrounded by 40-or-so blue paper bags stuffed with goodies, i could feel the tension levels rising as requests were made (by the reception staff) to have the bags grouped according to party, then sorted into “guests of the hotel” vs. “interlopers who’ll just be stopping by to get their swag so we don’t really care about them,” then sorted by arrival date, then organized in alphabetical order.

seriously.

eventually, we simply brought a bunch of bags back up to ericanddan’s room and then headed out for food. by this point, i think we were all ready to chew off our own arms. or, worse, chow down on some chocolate-covered salted licorice. (yep. i ate some of it, i was that hungry.)

as we walked back into town, everything felt right with the world. i couldn’t believe that i’d ever considered, even for a millesecond, not coming. what could i have been thinking?! we wandered and chatted and laughed, and i was so very very very glad to be there.

we eventually stopped at a wood-oven pizza joint, settled into our tables and gossiped about the wedding, the attendees, the plans and all points in between. we ate and drank, took a few photos and then all agreed that we were beat. ericanddan were headed back to the thermal pool for an evening soak, and i was headed back to my studio for a hot shower and, i hoped, some sleep. we hugged each other goodnight and then parted ways. i wouldn’t see them again until the rehearsal dinner two nights later… when, unbeknownst to me at the time, my life would change.

as well, it turned out that this first night together was just the beginning of five days filled with exactly the kind of misadventures and shenanigans i’d come to love and expect with ericanddan. (stay tuned for: lady gaga, getting naked, anticlimactic light shows and eating delicious hot dogs.)

as i made my way back to the guesthouse, my heart was full. not only did i feel relaxed and at home and happy, but my reunion with my dear, goofy, lovable, faraway-and-now-near friends could not have been more perfect. (well, maybe if there had been cake.) in the dusk-like light, i also felt like i’d just scored a coup, having carved out some rare private time with two very popular friends who’d soon be inundated with arriving guests and demands on their schedules.

for those few hours, it was just the three of us, hanging out.

later that night, sitting on my bed and reflecting on the day, i thought about the fact that there are only a tiny handful of people on the planet for whom i would get on a plane and fly, alone, 4100km to a country i’ve never before visited.

and how, for ericanddan, i will always buy a ticket.

with that, i clicked off the lights, put my head on my pillow and hoped for a sound, restful sleep because, in the morning, it would be time to put on the outdoor gear and go explore the country’s natural wonders…