i almost forgot to post something today

save for a shower break and a dinner break, i've been writing pet stories for about the past seven hours and my brain is now mush. i had a screening this morning, some entertainment-magazine stuff when i got home, and then it rained cat scratches and dog weight for the rest of the day.

my real-estate agent sent me a sobering document today, too. it was a list of all the houses that sold in toronto in my price range (and in non-scary neighbourhoods) in the past year... and almost every single one of them sold for WELL-above-asking. as in, $50-60K above asking. which means a nice, seemingly affordable (for toronto) two-bedroom bungalow listed at, say, $280K will probably sell for closer to $350K.

and then require extensive renovations, to boot.

of all the houses on the list -- and there were TONS -- only a tiny handful even appealed to me, and they, too, had sold for sizable sums above their list prices. that wasn't terribly encouraging. 

i'm feeling a little stuck. nothing's been coming on the market, condo-wise, so i started pondering houses and actually warming to the idea. but, now, i see that almost none of the houses that came up over the past year would have been affordable OR appealing. (there are zero on the market in my price range at present.) maybe a house is actually unrealistic. maybe a condo is unrealistic. maybe i will live in this apartment forever.

yes, i know, it's winter and things are slow and the market will pick up once spring hits and no one is shoving me out the door, so i'm trying not to get caught up in the all-too-familiar "i need to do something now!!!!" panic that tends to set in (for me) in situations like this. 

but it IS tugging at my sleeve. i should probably eat another marshmallow to calm it.

introducing...

... YB's homemade marshmallows!
on the left, coated in powdered sugar; on the right, coated in toasted coconut.
they are, in a word, FANTASTIC.

sunday to-do list: final tally

* shopping: COMPLETED. i bought a bunch of fresh vegetables, whole-wheat wraps, hummus chips, maltesers, milk, apples and completely refreshed my spices (with some new ones -- like sage and curry powder -- added to the fold).

* load of laundry: COMPLETED. it's in the dryer as i type this.

* marshmallow sampling: COMPLETED. omigod they are AMAZING. YB has really outdone herself. she left two containers full -- half with toasted coconut, half with just powdered sugar -- at my parents' house for us to share. i've lost count of how many i've eaten... and the day is not yet over.

* cuddling with george: COMPLETED and ONGOING. he has slept in my lap, exfoliated my entire forehead with his sandpaper tongue, played soccer with me and, most often, has simply been sitting at my feet, looking up at me with those pretty green eyes.

* baking: INCOMPLETE. the shopping took too long. but there's still tomorrow morning (though the prospects don't look great).

sunday to-do list (because i only have 10 minutes to write this)

* shopping with mom. groceries are on the agenda, as are any post-valentine's clearance chocolates.

* a load of laundry. i have four more waiting at my apartment, but the inclement weather has prevented the transport of said laundry to my parents' house.

* sampling of the homemade marshmallows YB will be whipping up. they are beyond amazing.

* quality time with george. this will likely involve a significant amount of cuddling.

* baking of some sort. maybe muffins. maybe cookies. or maybe prepping some kind of soup that i can take for lunch this week.

awesome home for me: REVEAL YOURSELF!

a friend of mine recently issued a "REVEAL YOURSELF!" directive to a missing piece of paper she was trying to locate, and it almost immediately revealed itself, so i figure i've got nothing to lose by trying it out on the as-yet-unrevealed perfect condo or house i will find and buy.

because it's becoming increasingly obvious that it's time for me to live somewhere else.

yesterday, my super informed me that she's resigned, effective almost immediately. her last day will be feb. 28th, after which she's moving back home to spain to care for her ailing mother. for a short while, she said, it looked like my former super would be returning to cover what would have been a temporary (six-week) visit to spain, but the property management company vetoed that idea, so my super said, "thanks, i'll be leaving for good, then."

apparently, her replacement is a young woman whose background is as a cleaner. that is, she has no experience running a building but, i guess, the property management company figures clean floors are more important than a well-run apartment. they said they couldn't find any available supers who weren't sleazeballs, so this woman will suffice. great. (on the upside, i suppose, at least they knew enough not to hire the sleazeballs. and something about having a woman "in charge" does make me feel better.)

still, the news that my super is on the way out, and so soon, sent panic through my veins. tenants are leaving the building, as well, and -- though the circumstances aren't nearly as awful -- it's reminiscent of what happened at hell house when conditions started to nosedive, everyone fled and i stuck it out until it became unsafe and unhealthy. thankfully, that's not the case here... though who knows what kind of desperate renting situation might result from the landlord's inability to actually find tenants willing to assume the newly renovated units at their newly inflated prices (minimum of $1500/month for a one-bedroom apartment). right now, there are four empty units in the building -- two renovated, two underway. none will be rented before may 1st because there won't be a working elevator for the entire month of april. that's a lot of money for the landlord to lose.

in short: i suspect, very soon, the landlord might accept ANYONE who can pay the rent. no questions asked. my super was a fantastic gatekeeper but, with her gone and the management company desperate to fill the empty apartments, i fear a sudden laissez-faire attitude towards proper (and thorough) tenant screening.

this was all a big fat sign to me that i need to hop to it and find someplace to buy. it's still mid-winter, so the market is still largely dormant and new properties aren't really springing up. as i've been waiting for something fantastic to materialize, i've also been giving more thought to buying a house instead of a condo. more and more, the benefits of a house are starting to make themselves known -- without monthly condo fees (which average about $400-600/month depending on the size of the unit) to pay, i could actually afford the mortgage on a house in a not-terrible neighbourhood... assuming a great place was available somewhere. and that's including a sizable "emergency-repair" fund to cover the kinds of unexpected costs a homeowner might suddenly incur.

anyway, house benefits: no pet restrictions, no upstairs or downstairs or share-a-wall neighbours, residential autonomy and fixed monthly costs. the downside: less security, longer travel time (though, east york isn't too far from downtown), more maintenance (lawns and driveways) and more bugs.

so, basically, i don't know which to choose, as both condos and houses come with pros and cons. but i sure wish something perfect for me -- in either format -- would reveal itself. i'd love to find something by march 29th, so i could give notice at my building and move out by june 1st. failing that, by april 29th, so i can move out by july 1st and be living somewhere new on my birthday.

happy valentine's day :-)

further work-related items

* today was my first day in my new desk, and you know what? it's fine. yes, it's in a higher-traffic zone, so it's not as private or quiet as my previous spot, but i'm much closer to all my friends and back IN the department in which we all work. plus, i left work with an armload of free magazines also published at our company, which is always a nice perk. too bad i'm now MILES from the kitchen and washrooms, though. (they used to be around the corner.)

* this afternoon, the VP of our department stopped by to see how the move went. my designer colleague and i spun around in our chairs to chat with her and trade stories. it was nice -- though she can be tough and our interactions have been few, the VP is a very, very smart, savvy woman and i like her. the new editor i don't like, who also moved to a desk right next to mine (thankfully, a temporary location until her office -- *groan* -- is ready), kept her back to us all, said nothing and didn't join in the conversation. "you're a moron," thought i. "this is the VP OF THE DEPARTMENT, and the woman who can turf you by end-of-day if she wants to. and you've already misstepped a few times, so it's not like you're her favourite employee. at least PRETEND to care."

* earlier, the editor of the entertainment magazine for which i work sent me an ominous-seeming email with the subject line: "changes to the magazine." my stomach dropped -- i was certain she was telling me that she was resigning, or that the budget had been cut and i wouldn't be able to write for her anymore, or that the whole magazine was toast effectively immediately. (yes, i panic quickly and easily -- all these thoughts flew through my brain before i'd even opened the email.) turns out, it was GOOD news: she asked me if i'd be interested in writing a regular monthly feature in addition to the one-offs i'm currently writing. SCORE! i replied with "YES!!!!" in a very large font.

* at some point between feb. 15th and march 1st, my boss will be given a super-secret assignment on which, hopefully, i will also work. it will be a lightning-fast turnaround and, fortunately, i am the master of lightning-fast turnarounds.

back-to-work items

1. i found out today that one of my old bosses has just been named publisher of our newest magazine (for which i write and am senior editor). this is good news, because i like him.

2. i cleaned and disinfected my new desk space, then packed up the contents of my old desk into a giant, red plastic box, in preparation for tomorrow morning's move. i will miss the old space, but the new space isn't as bad as i'd feared. and my friends on the new floor seem very happy that i'll be sitting nearby.

3. across from my new desk space is a vacant desk where a slew of freebies from a now-defunct division were left behind. so, i scored a bunch of office supplies, a coupon for a free loaf of raisin bread, two large spools of shiny purple ribbon, the world's tiniest stapler and a brand new recipe book all about cake (!).

4. my boss gave me some promising info about new projects coming down the pipeline. this means work for me, and that is a relief.

5. today, i proofread about 80 pages of an automotive catalogue, and learned all sorts of factoids about motor oil and air filters and windshield-wiper blades. i'll do the last 40 pages tomorrow.

sunday night poignancy

yesterday, i spent the afternoon at my parents' house. i left just after 6pm and took transit home. though the streets had been a mess earlier in the day, they were relatively clear by the time i headed out.

i got back to my apartment just before 7:15pm, and set about unpacking the leftovers i'd brought with me, then sat down to check email. at about 7:40pm, my phone rang.

"hello?"

"oh, so you did get home okay," said my mom, with relief in her voice.

"yeah, why wouldn't i have?" i asked. "the roads were fine, and it's still early."

"i know," said mom. "but it was dark out, so i just wanted to make sure you got home okay."

now, after previous visits and when i've left their place in bad weather or later at night, i've always called upon arrival at my apartment. but i didn't last night. i apologized for not calling, saying i didn't realize i should have done so. then we chatted about other stuff for a few minutes before saying goodbye.

about half an hour later, my phone rang.

"hello?"

"how come you didn't call us to tell us you got home?" said my father.

oh good grief, i thought to myself, this again?

"i know," i said. " i'll call next time. i already talked to mom."

because, as i've said before, my father is no longer able to follow conversation well, he didn't understand how or when i'd spoken to my mother, and trying to explain it -- "she phoned you? when? she didn't tell me she phoned. you should have phoned us..." -- started making me frustrated and irritated.

"okay, well, phone next time," he said.

"yes, i KNOW!" i replied, audibly annoyed because i'd apologized and said i would call about three times already. "i said i will. i'll call next time."

when i hung up the phone, though, i was hit with a wave of sadness and regret that i'd snapped at him and, perhaps, had also made my mother feel bad for checking in on me, when really both of them were just behaving as loving, caring parents. somehow, i'd momentarily morphed into the exasperated teenager.

in that moment, i also realized that they're the only two people who actually do check in on me. ever. that they're the only people who want to know whether i got home safely at night. and that, someday, neither of them will be here anymore to do that.

and i suddenly felt very sad and afraid, and i started to cry.

after a minute, i pulled myself together and called my mom to apologize. i told her i was grateful to have someone checking in, and that it felt nice to be cared about that way. i also said i would always call from now on, whether she asked me to or not.

"you're still my child and i worry about you," she said, warmly. "no matter how old you are."

i could feel tears welling in my eyes. i swallowed hard and took a breath, not wanting to cry on the phone, and then changed the subject.

it's as good as you've heard it is

it's dreamy and tragic and filled with emotion. and it's a completely unique project that's a testament to following your own creative vision. i think i cried almost from the start right through to the end... and i'm still not entirely sure why.

saturday stuff

* my phone's ringer has gone wonky.

* my post-storm snow walk was an hour shorter than yesterday's walk, but i was five times as tired when i got home.

* i think my upped thyroid-med dose is making me dizzy.

* the condo market remains very very quiet.

* i am in dire need of a big grocery-shopping trip because my fridge is getting empty.

* next week, i'll be going into the office for two days to proofread an entire magazine.

* next wednesday, i'll also be moving desks.

* tonight, i will watch Beasts of the Southern Wild and hope it lives up to its hype.

scenes from a snow walk

mother nature did not disappoint, and toronto got a huge dumping of snow today! (it's still falling as i type this!) the final accumulation hasn't been determined yet, but it looks like around 25cm... which is a LOT.

YAY!!!!

as planned, i went for a big, fat snow walk late this morning, and it was... H*E*A*V*E*N*L*Y. the snow was falling steadily (and somewhat heavily), the streets and sidewalks were almost completely empty, mount pleasant cemetery was open and i had my camera.

i walked for nearly 2 1/2 hours and loved every second of it -- even when my right knee threatened to give out on my halfway through. it was just me and tons and tons of beautiful scenery and near silence, right in the heart of the city. every now and again, i'd come across someone walking a bouncy dog, or a cross-country skier or two. one pair of skiers passed me and, as they did, said, "isn't this awesome?!"

to which i replied, "I LOVE IT!!!!"

because i did. and i do. by the time i walked back through my front door, i had snow caked all over myself -- my knapsack had tiny mounds of snow collected in every nook and cranny, there was snow tucked into the top of my boots because i'd walked through a number of deep drifts -- and my face was completely wet from having snow blown into it for a couple of hours. but i was SO happy and the best kind of tired.

the volume of falling snow made taking photos a challenge. i didn't want to risk damaging the camera, so i'd only take it out for a few seconds at a time. i think tomorrow -- when the forecast is for crisp temperatures and sunshine -- will yield stunning shots (i plan on being out early for a post-storm, freshly-fallen-snow walk). in the meantime, though, here are some images from the day:

S-N-O-W-!

right now, as i type this, it's snowing outside. it's the start of what, at present, looks like it will be a huge-ass snowfall. there's already about 4cm on the ground, with another 5cm expected by midnight.

10-15cm predicted overnight, with another 10-20cm tomorrow.

this means toronto could get close to 30cm -- that's a FOOT! -- of snow by the time the last flake floats to the ground tomorrow afternoon.

I

LOVE

IT

!

i feel like a five year old on christmas eve: way too excited to sleep because i can't wait to see what i find when i wake up in the morning. toronto hasn't seen a snowfall like this in YEARS. i don't even remember when we last had more than 10cm of snow accumulate in a single snowfall.

but i have hearty bean soup made, some fresh double-chocolate butterscotch-pecan cookies on hand, a pile of DVDs from the library (in addition to the titles i'd already procured, yesterday i picked up Beasts of the Southern Wild and, today, The Paperboy) and all my hardcore winter wear at the ready for at least a couple of big, fat snow walks tomorrow. i might even bring my point-and-shoot if it's not too stormy out.

for now, i'm watching the snow fall from inside my toasty (23ºC) apartment and routinely flipping on the weather network to get the latest on what's falling where.

SNOW IS MY FAVOURITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pleasant surprises

1. i went to a screening of Identity Thief tonight. given its pedigree, and despite the seemingly innocuous trailer, i expected it to be very raunchy and very profane. it wasn't. it was actually very sweet and entertaining, and melissa mccarthy displayed impressive dramatic range. i was pleasantly surprised.

2. before the movie, i was hemming and hawing over what to get to snack on during the film. i was craving something sweet, but i couldn't bring myself to pay the prices nearby shops wanted for their chocolate. as i stood in front of a display of various chocolate bars, my plus-one for the evening asked me which one i would normally buy and then, when i told him, he grabbed two, went to the cashier and bought them for me. and i was pleasantly surprised!

3. right now, there's a winter-storm warning for toronto. they're predicting 15 to 25cm (!) of snow from thursday evening through friday. that's about six to ten INCHES of snow! i am cautiously optimistic, and will get my big-girl snow boots ready for a snow walk, but i won't believe it until i see it. and, if i do see it, i will be very pleasantly surprised. or, you know, elated.

five things i did today

1. built the framework for the dystopian-societies-in-film story. essentially, that means i wrote the introductory paragraphs and the first sentences for all subsequent paragraphs. my research is grouped nicely so, tomorrow, i'll just go back and fill in the empty spots with smart-assy remarks + plenty of information on movies about really bleak futures.

2. went for a big walk. as i walked through mount pleasant cemetery, i was tailed. by a squirrel. i'd brought along a small bag of old nuts i've had in my fridge for at least two years, and i'd stopped to give some to a group of extremely tame -- but not terribly bright -- squirrels. they watched me put the nuts down... and then they followed me along the road when i started walking away. all but one abandoned the pursuit, but this one plucky (if dim) little guy followed me for a fair distance. i kept stopping and telling him to go back to where i'd left the nuts. eventually, he sat himself at the base of a humungous tree and watched me carry on.

3. stopped at the library and scored two fairly new DVD releases: Dark Shadows (which i'm curious about) and Safety Not Guaranteed (which i cannot WAIT to watch!).

4. cooked some edamame that i will eat with my steamed carrots and vegan sausage for dinner. before you turn up your nose, this sausage is AMAZING.

5. interviewed a veterinarian for a couple of the pet-health stories i'm writing. today's dog fact of the day: don't just feed your dog based on the guidelines on the dog-food bag/can. a dog's food intake should be tailored to its activity level, and the higher-end guidelines on the bag/can are intended for VERY active canines.

here is a photo of george

george's new favourite hangout is under the dining-room table.

PHEW

per dr. textbook, everything's fine.

blood work: great.

heart test: fine.

mammogram and ultrasound: fine.

the only thing that's wonky is the thyroid, and i'm still convinced it was just an anomaly.

i'll find out in about five weeks when i go back to have it retested.

and now, onwards to the dystopian-society piece!

to-do-list further-progress report

* after hemming and hawing over how to spend the day, mom and i decided to skip shopping and, instead, take advantage of the crisp air and dry sidewalks to go on a big, fat walk downtown. we left my place at 12:20pm and, though we made some pit stops -- lunch at whole foods, browsing at the secret marshall's on john street, snacks at the ACC longo's -- walked for almost three hours.

* we also stopped at a bakery that's part of my childhood. maybe i'll write about the bakery later this week because it deserves more than just a passing mention. after the bakery, we stopped at krispy kreme to pick up a donut: a glazed raspberry-filled donut. my favourite. unfortunately, because i picked it up about 2/3 of the way through our walk and subsequently placed it, as gingerly as possible, in my empty knapsack, it was kind of squashed by the time i got home. bet it's still delicious, though. i'll know when i eat it after dinner.

* i didn't get much grocery shopping done this weekend. yesterday's outing was largely grocery-store-free, as was today's. and the produce i examined at the grocery stores we DID visit was all kind of meh. if i'm going to buy a red pepper, i want it to be a great red pepper, not a wishy-washy one. i'm not needed at the office this week, though, so i have plenty of time to get groceries in the next couple of days.

* i did buy garlic. i needed some in order to make spaghetti sauce. unfortunately, what i did NOT do was pick up fresh dried oregano and dried basil so, when i was making the sauce (which i've made many times at my parents' house, using my mom's fresh spices) i tasted it and realized it was weirdly bitter. though i wasn't able to fix the problem entirely, i added more sugar and it's a little less bite-y. now i just have to grate the parmigano-reggiano and cook the pasta.

* there was no researching or writing of stories, fictional or otherwise, this weekend. i did mull some ideas over, and the dystopian-society piece is structuring itself in my brain. there will be a fair amount of writing in the next few days. i hope.

* this morning, mom and i booked our flights to florida! we'd been waiting for fares to come down and, today, they'd come down enough that we both agreed to just book the tickets and be done with it. so we did and we are! i'll be going down for eight days, mom will be there for two weeks. morning swims and beach walks, here we come! (in a few more months.)

* tomorrow morning, i go to dr. textbook for all my test results. i'm keeping appendages crosssed and hoping for a clean bill of health*. (thyroid notwithstanding, since i've already been informed it's gone wonky again.)

to-do-list progress update

* watched The Dark Knight Rises. i almost turned it off an hour in because i was bored silly. but i hung on, figuring it must have earned at least some of the praise it received last summer for SOMETHING. thankfully, the final 40-ish minutes were great and made up for the dullness of the first two hours. (yes, it's more than two hours and 40 minutes long.)

* went shopping with mom today. she bought a pair of columbia hikers on clearance for... wait for it... $18! that's america-worthy sale pricing! we called trix on her cell to tell her of the sale, so she swung by the store later and picked up a pair of waterproof winter boots for $25 (which had to have been a discount of at least 70%). i bought frozen fish fillets and carrots. :-|

* did not bake banana bread tonight, mainly because i was SO full from dinner that the thought of cooking anything made me queasy. so, tomorrow morning, i might take my inaugural stab at banana bread. and, if i do, i'll be flying solo. (eep!)

the weekend to-do list

* watch The Dark Knight Rises, which i picked up from the library earlier, and The Lucky Ones, which is on TV here later tonight.

* go grocery shopping. i'm not working for the foreseeable future, and i want to make sure i don't slip into my typical "nachos and carrots are a good lunch" at-home meals. i eat much healthier when i'm packing food to bring to the office, so i want to keep it up whilst i'm off.

* at least one big* walk. (*one hour or more.) the weather is supposed to be pretty decent, and i know my body needs some good walkin'.

* bake muffins or banana bread with mom. i don't know why, but i've had SUCH a craving for banana bread lately. but i know they require dead bananas, which i don't have and which mom might not have either, so muffins will suffice. maybe. i also have a craving for another panera bear claw. i think their almond paste has crack.

* finish researching my essay on films about dystopian societies. there are a LOT. and then i must sit down to write the essay, which (thankfully) my editor would like to be a cheeky opinion piece. and so that's what it shall be!

* oh, and i might enter this. i feel a connection with "looks just like the sun." so i might sit down to brainstorm ideas.