today's news

* my hives are slowly receding. my cooties seem to have plateaued.

* in related news, mom has now been struck down by cooties.

* this morning, i dropped off my down-payment cheque with the lawyer, and signed all my condo papers. all that's left is to get the keys on friday.

* no, scratch that. there's a TON of stuff left. figuring out insurance. arranging my cable and internet hookups. painting and painting and painting and painting. for starters.

* further to the above, my boss imparted an invaluable piece of information on me this evening: prime the popcorn ceiling before painting. apparently, if a popcorn ceiling hasn't been painted previously, a water-based ceiling paint (like the giant vat i bought) will be absorbed into the popcorniness and cause it all to crumble right off. so, evidently, i will be buying a giant vat of primer this weekend, and spending much more time than anticipated tackling the ceilings.

hive got some news

today, i spent the day wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck sweater made of hives and cooties. the rash broke out -- all across my chest, neck, throat, shoulders and upper arms -- last night, and only became more pronounced this morning.

so, i booked an appointment with dr. textbook, who diagnosed: a rather extensive case of hives. likely brought on by a combination of stress, the cold virus (i am once again FULLY ENCOOTIFIED) and a very pooped immune system.

GOOD TIMES.

i was here

tonight, as i was purging old press kits and magazines, i realized – with some degree of sadness and regret – that, amid the whirlwind, i'd completely forgotten to take photos of my current apartment before i started packing it up to move. photos of how it looked when i was living here. photos of it being lived in.

now, its shelves are half-empty, boxes are stacked around, and i can feel myself slowly disappearing from the space.

tomorrow morning...

... it's condo-visit time.

as part of my purchase agreement, i get two pre-closing visits to measure, doublecheck things and make sure the previous owner hasn't, you know, trashed the place. ;-)

so, with tape measures and note paper in hand, YB, mom, my real estate agent and i will head to my new home and set about inspecting it closely.

it'll be the first time i really REALLY look at it, spend time in the space and see what i've bought. and i'm really REALLY hoping i find only good things.

why i will not sleep tonight

earlier, i realized i haven't prepaid nearly enough in taxes for 2013, which means i will be writing the government a much-much-bigger-than-i-expected cheque come late april.

it also means the financial cushion i thought i'd have (after making my condo down payment + paying for all the purchase- and moving-related expenses) is a lot flatter than i thought it would be.

things i am looking forward to

* walking in the well-treed neighbourhood, especially in the fall and winter

* visiting the brownie lady down the street

* using the charming, renovated library

* exploring my options at the new community centre

* having my own washer and dryer, and doing laundry in my own home

* planting basil and chives in pots and growing them on the little balcony

* morning sun

* walking to work along the most expensive street in the city

* air conditioning in summer!

* playing pool in the building's snooker room :-D

* not having ANYONE living above me

* having a dedicated office... with four walls AND a door

* tons of storage space

* living among grown-ups

* putting money into something i own (or, as my real-estate agent put it: "into the house bank")

* strolling to all the shops on bayview

* taking a big, empty space and making it mine

* the QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things i will miss

* living within a 25-minute walk of the centre of the city

* my neighbourhood, with its multitude of old churches and schools

* being an eight-minute walk from two subway stations

* claire on 9, francia on 2 and cliff – who's in his 80s and has lived here for more than 40 years – on 5

* living next door to the chief of police

* the sound of streetcars passing outside

* the smell of june wafting in my windows

* the huge, fancy loblaws... which was only recently made fancy

* my aesthetically perfect address (the actual letters and numbers, i mean)

* the stripe on my living-room wall

* snow walks along the beltline (which, technically, i can still take... but they'll require a bus ride there and back)

* the light in my living room on fall evenings

* the sound of the timothy eaton church bells

* my office nook

* the open shelves in my open kitchen, and the built-in book nook that runs under the counter

* the retro tiles, and high ceiling, in my bathroom

* having a ceiling light in the bedroom

* radiant heat

* smooth ceilings

* my wall of windows in the living room, and the one in the bedroom

* my view... my beautiful, beautiful view. i will miss that most of all.

things i will not miss

* my upstairs neighbours and their incessant thudding and thumping and banging and clanging

* the neighbour one floor up and one door over, who randomly BLASTS top-40 music for 15-minute stretches

* the smell of weed on the 2nd floor

* not being able to control the heat in my home

* not having air conditioning

* the drafty windows, with their cracked caulking and filthy grooves

* the cracked window ledges, where condensation pools and soaks the bottom of my blinds when it's very cold out

* the leaky bathtub faucet

* the off-centre light fixture above the sink

* the fact that, if i turn on the hot water in the kitchen, i have to run the cold water for a few seconds when i'm done or else the faucet drips

* having to schelp my laundry to my parents' house... and back

* being at the mercy of the management company's idiotic decisions

* CONSTRUCTION NOISE, construction workers, construction dust

* that weird bug that always finds its way into my place every june and flies out at me in the darkness

palette

fun thing #58 about the new condo? picking paint colours.

and then my body cried, "UNCLE!"

not surprisingly (to me), i appear to be coming down with a cold. i woke up at about 2am with an inexplicably sore left side of my throat. it had been totally fine when i went to bed just four hours earlier but, suddenly, swallowing hurt. i told myself it was a side effect of having walked to and from work yesterday, that i must have breathed in too much of the dusty-with-road-salt air and that the air had irritated my sinuses and throat. i drank some water and went back to bed, but didn't sleep.

i tossed and turned until 6:30am, repeatedly checking on my throat by swallowing. yep, still sore. it improved a little when i finally got up at 7 and had breakfast... but, a few hours later, i knew it wasn't leaving.

as i say, i'm not surprised. i've been going full-tilt for the past two weeks. i haven't slept properly at all and, many nights, wind up with just three or four hours of fitful sleep. i've been working long-ish hours, exercising, walking back and forth from the office... in short: my body has been under a LOT of physical and mental stress.

add to that a slew of über-germy colleagues who insist on coming in to work while sick, coughing and sneezing and spreading the plague from cubicle to cubicle. i'd been dosing up on vitamins and bathing in hand sanitizer but, with a fatigued body and mind, my immune system evidently threw up a white flag to the tsunami of cooties.

so, my body is sending me a message i can't ignore. loud and clear. TAKE IT EASY.

now, i don't feel sick. i just have a sore throat. for now. the normal progression of a cold for me is a sore throat (a day or two), followed by sinus congestion (three or four days), followed by a cough (eight thousand years). it's not usually until day two or three that i start to feel like i'm wearing a onesie made of lead and mucous.

BUT... i'm doing my best to recharge my system today and tomorrow (and, probably, monday... when i'll work from home) in the hopes of shortening the length and severity of whatever this is. i'm taking plenty of vitamin C and zinc, and downing a ton of fluids. i've also been trying to kick the sore throat to the curb with a tincture of cayenne, turmeric, honey and warm water that i swallow every 15 minutes. thus far, the results are middling at best. every website i've read says, "stick with it! it might take several hours!", but i'm now entering hour three. we'll see.

of course, there's also nyquil, which i may use tonight. not a full dose -- i'm not sick yet -- but enough to create that warm, fuzzy haze that spells S-L-E-E-P. because, i think, i need that more than anything at this point. fingers crossed i wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and sore-throat-free!

movers: booked

54 days from now, at this time, i'll be fully moved in to my new home.

done deal: i bought a condo

SO much has happened in the last seven days, and it's all kind of been an overwhelming whirlwind. in just 36 hours, i went from browsing MLS listings to putting in an offer on a property, to having that offer accepted outright. no signing back and forth, no negotiating on price. just: done.

about 72 hours after that, it was signed, sealed and official. i secured a mortgage, the lawyer OKed the building and i waived those two conditions.

holy crap.

no, seriously.

O

M

G

since then, i've been a knot of jangled nerves. i haven't really slept properly in more than a week -- i wasn't sleeping well when last weekend arrived, and this past week hasn't helped matters -- and my stomach has been jittery since sunday. my appetite isn't great, and i feel like i'm w-I-R-e-D all the time.

mom and trix are both very excited, but it's odd -- both of them, independently, cautioned me against painting using my trademark palette (i.e., bright and cheerful) "in case you have to sell it suddenly."

????

what kind of thing is that to say? i told both of them that i'm going to paint it in the colours i want, because i need to treat this as someplace that's MINE and someplace i plan to live in for a long while. why would i paint it in a way that i hope will appeal to buyers? why create a self-fulfilling prophesy?

if, worst-case scenario, i suddenly find myself needing to sell, THAT'S when i'll repaint in pale, muted tones. until then, it's going to be bright and cheerful and vibrant. i'm not talking about purple ceilings and doors covered in fun fur, but i need colour.

today, YB and i went window shopping -- paint, furniture, appliances. the place really needs a new washer and dryer, and those are items i'd really like to buy new. the stove is also pretty old, and the range hood has seen better days, so they may also be replaced. we'll see.

paint-wise, i picked up a pile of paint chips in a crayola-like array of colours. i'm thinking of painting my kitchen cabinets a light lime green, or maybe a bright (light) orange. we'll see.

and in terms of furniture, i only want to buy the essential pieces. the kitchen could use an island because there isn't a lot of counter space on which to work. i need a new stand for my mammoth tube TV, because the one i have now is 13 years old and showing it. i haven't yet decided whether to put a real bed (or a roll-away bed) in the guest room. we'll see.

i have about nine thousand things i'll need to get done in the next four weeks, and about eight hundred and twenty six decisions to make. for now, i would LOVE to just get a solid 8 hours of sleep.

i definitely have blog-worthy thoughts on this condo situation...

... but i don't want to write about it until it's a done deal.

right now, it's about 70% complete. that last 30%, that last hurdle, is the mortgage. i thought i'd know tonight whether i'm approved (and for how much and at what rate), but i don't.

my broker has until 6pm tomorrow to nail down a mortgage or the condo purchase is voided and the unit goes back on the market.

she feels confident everything will be fine, and that she'll have my mortgage tomorrow morning... but i don't want to count any chickens too soon.

i have spent the past three days as a bundle of knotted nerves and anxiety and stress, and i won't start to unclench until that mortgage is signed, sealed and delivered.

so, more later. for now, my appendages are all crossed.

holy crap

i bought a condo.

oh, hi!

* the landlord of my building has applied for a substantial rent increase. the hearing is on march 28th. tenants are slowly organizing. i'm torn between focusing on this place and directing my energy to finding a new place. this is causing inner conflict. a lot of it. i feel guilty for not wanting to overextend myself. i fear for the tenants (the elderly, the immigrants) who may not have the means to endure a rent hike, but i also know i need to focus on a solution for me, not for the building. my therapist has asked me why i feel the need to "save" my neighbours, and why i think it's not okay for me to concentrate on what *i* need (and to put myself first), and i don't (yet) know the answer.

* i've been doing semi-regular tae-bo workouts. i like the fact that i get up, work up a good sweat to get rid of toxins, and then take a cleansing shower to wash them off immediately. i've also continued to have spinach salads at least three times a week. i've discovered that raw, hulled hemp hearts are delicious (and very good for you), so i sprinkle those on my salads, along with raw sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and ground flax.

* the oscar nominations were announced this morning. i was pleased that all my holiday-time filmgoing turned out to be worthwhile -- i've now seen almost all of the nominated films and performances. though, i have no interest in "the wolf of wall street."

* on january 1st, my new hourly rate kicked in. i remind myself of this new rate every day that i'm at the office late.

* soon, mom and i will have to start planning for florida. if you recall, when i returned from last year's southern sojurn, i said that the condo was falling into further disrepair with each passing year. i'm doing my best to convince mom to either question the owner of the place we rent about whether he's made any improvements (does the toilet now flush properly? have you painted all the water stains on the walls? have you bought new mattresses? do any of the TV remotes work yet?), or to opt for another (pricier) unit in the same building. the price difference is about $200 per week... but we'd get an extra bedroom, an extra bathroom, a corner unit and, one would hope, a toilet that doesn't require you to hold down the handle until the bowl is empty.

fitness!

one of the things i wanted to do in 2014 is so hugely unoriginal that i hesitate to even write about it. still. after six months in my high-stress, high-volume job, my body was starting to tank. over the past few months, i'd noticed increasing pudginess in my midsection, and increasing lethargy overall.

in late november, and with the holiday season looming, i decided to limit the excess sugar i consume while at the office. there's always candy at the ready, junk food nearby and the daily afternoon pangs for something sweet unrelenting. but i decided that i would save the fat and calories for the really good stuff -- homemade christmas baking -- and say no to store-bought cookies, bowls of M&Ms and bags of gummy peaches. i thought it would be hard, but i love streaks -- more to the point, seeing how long i can keep a streak going.

thus far, it's been about six weeks!

but, over christmas, i also read that getting in shape is about 30% exercise and 70% what you eat. so, i decided to also ramp up my fitness regimen. i'd been walking to and/or from the office almost every day, weather permitting, and it's a 40-minute walk each way. thing is, perform any exercise long enough and your body adjusts to it so that it's no longer an effective way to burn calories or get any kind of effective cardio going. plus, at least on the to-work journey, i didn't want to work up a sweat, so i wasn't really challenging myself.

then i remembered: youtube.

you can find any workout you like on youtube. long ones, short ones, cardio, yoga, stretching, warm-ups, cool-downs, intervals, whatever. and, with the weather outside (and very-late sunrises) decidedly non-condusive to power walks before work, a 30-minute youtube workout seemed like the perfect fit.

and it has been!

about a week and a bit ago, i started doing tae-bo workouts in the morning. they're great! years ago, when they were all the rage, i did them often and had progressed to the advanced-level workout. then it started to build a lot of muscle in my thighs, so i stopped. i'm back to beginner, but it's definitely a challenge. and i sweat a lot (goodbye, toxins! goodbye, cortisol!). and, so far, i love it.

i get up at 6:30am to drink some water, then go back to bed to "wake up" for another 15 minutes. i have my workout clothes out, so i just put them on and warm up a little while i make the bed, put out my vitamins, get my breakfast fixins ready and the like. and, by 7:00am, i begin. i'm done by 7:30, showered and ready for breakfast at 8, out the door by 8:50.

and then i feel like i've done something for myself before even really beginning my day.

plus, i still walk to work.

my meals at home have improved, as well. i made the most amazing smoothie -- almond-coconut milk + chilled banana + 2 tbsp almond butter + 1 tbsp chocolate syrup. OMGSOGOOD. i've had pre-dinner spinach salads a few nights this week, and made healthy faux-stir fries (wherein the vegetables are steamed instead of fried, then coated with marinade).

don't get me wrong, i still love candy. i'm just sticking to the good candy. the kind i REALLY REALLY love, not just whatever happens to be handy when i get a craving. same goes for cookies and cake -- still eatin' it, just not eating it whenever it crosses my path.

and you know what? i have more energy. my brain feels a little clearer. and i'm looking forward to increasing my stamina and strength gradually to see what i can do.

stuff! also... things.

* it is COLD in toronto tonight. by dawn, the wind chill will be -41ºC (-42ºF). frostbite can set in within five minutes. i will NOT be walking to the office. i kind of want to work from home, since my apartment is actually toasty (22ºC!). the winds are from the west and south, so they don't hit my windows directly and, as such, my place stays warm.

* i will, however, go to work tomorrow because i have to return a DVD to the library en route. i'm on episode nine of ten of the first season of The Newsroom, which i am LOVING. season two won't be on DVD until june or july, so i have a bit of a wait before i get to see the next nine episodes. but it's an excellent series with some brilliant writing. here, look at the season-one trailer to see what i mean:

* tonight, i made baked ginger tofu for dinner. it was okay, but not my favourite. i still have 1/4 of a block of tofu to use, so i'm hoping to find a more palatable recipe.

* in keeping with my health and fitness goals, i've been eating better. my mom gave me a salad spinner for christmas, so i can finally buy and wash (and spin dry) my own greens at my place, rather than having to buy them and then either wash and spin them chez mama, or wash and pat them dry... which is a huge pain. so, i've got a full container of (washed and cleaned) organic baby spinach in the fridge, and have been having spinach-salad accompaniments to dinner the past few nights. tip: raw sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds makes for excellent salad toppings.

* work is still ridiculous. fin.

okay, 2014, let's go...

it's the second day of a brand new year, and i'm a bit late with the annual reflection/look forward, i know. but there wasn't as much introspection this past year's end. instead, more of a "hey, that was a pretty good year" mental overview, with a few moments of "i can't believe it" thrown in.

2013 was a pretty good year. i stayed healthy, had fun, laughed, worked hard and made a very robust living. i was promoted and spent the latter half of the year meeting new colleagues, taking on new responsibilities, learning new skills and realizing i'm actually very good at what i do.

sure, there were a few bumps in the year -- for reasons unknown to me, a number of friends dropped me in 2013. there was a time where that would have consumed me... or, at the very least, preoccupied me to the point of distraction... but this past year? i didn't bother. we're all adults; if someone chooses to end a friendship without explanation, so be it. i no longer have the patience or inclination to go poking around for the whys of things like that.

in 2013, i was also amazed at the power of thought. at the start of the year, i put out to the universe what i wanted to earn in the coming 12 months. it had worked in previous years, so i chose a figure i thought would really test the limits of willing something into existence.

and then the universe completely outdid me, and exceeded my figure by a good 20%.

i was not, however, able to will a new home into existence. as much as i tried, and as long as i've searched, there was no condo or house for me. and, most days, that's okay -- i really like where i live and, when the upstairs neighbours are quiet (or, better yet, away on vacation), it's almost perfect. except for the drafty windows... and the lack of laundry... and the old electrical... still. living here for another year, and walking to and/or from work almost every day, i've grown to love my neighbourhood even more. to the point that i'm reconsidering my must-have criteria for a new home. "my own laundry" may be stricken from the list, along with air conditioning -- there are some beautiful old condo buildings around here, and most don't have either. what they do have is character, charm and a kick-ass location.

so, maybe a unit in one of those will be a part of my 2014. we'll see.

i know my job will continue to be a challenge, both good and bad, until at least june. but, with those challenges comes an hourly-rate increase, effective yesterday. so, while i toil at the office and deal with ridiculous client requests (all olympics stories have now been killed, btw, even though they were all assigned and written -- good times!), i can rest easy knowing my bank account will kept happy.

to that end, i also plan to see more movies for pleasure in 2014. used to be, i couldn't afford to go -- when one is earning nothing, shelling out $13 for a film is off the table. but going to movies over my recent christmas break reminded me how much i love doing it. plus, it's a good way to refuel my creative brain, which has been sorely neglected since, oh, this past june.

in terms of goals or plans for the year, i don't have too many. i could say i'd like to blog every day, but i'll be happy if, for the foreseeable future, i manage it two or three times a week. i do plan to revise my eating habits, though -- i successfully cut down on sugar towards the end of 2013, then lapsed for the last two weeks of december, so it's time to pick up that baton again. i've also started pre-work workouts (as of today, anyway). my body needs a stress release AND a way of burning all the calories i consume, since sitting at a computer for 10 hours a day makes for a poor cardio regimen.

i'd like to be more patient in the months to come, and to remember to nurture myself as much as i do other people. i'd like to try for more reasonable hours at the office, and to schedule a day off each month to let my brain exhale. i'll probably go babysit larry on occasion, since cat therapy and YB's quiet house are effective stress relievers, and mom and i will likely head to florida in may, per usual. there's also a part of me that wants to go on a fall trip somewhere -- maybe back to seattle, maybe chicago... or maybe somewhere that pushes me out of my comfort zone a little. like sweden. or ireland. dunno yet.

but i'm not starting 2014 feeling overly apprehensive about what's to come, or regretting anything from the year that's passed. and i'm taking that as a good sign.

happy new year, all!

the yule log

* on christmas day, around 11am, i headed to my parents' place. YB and larry had been there for a couple of days already, and mom and dad's cable had been out since sunday morning. so, everyone was a little on edge. but, we had a lovely meal, opened presents and dad did not act like an asshat, which was a huge relief.

* larry and george continue to get to know each other, but the dynamic has shifted between them. george is now the dominant one, chasing poor larry like a bat out of hell. which, to be fair, is the way the dynamic should be between the resident cat and a guest cat. thankfully, larry's got a "safe room": trixie's bedroom. that's where his food, water and litter box are, and where he sleeps and relaxes (with the door closed so george can't get in). so, when he's scared, he runs right back into that room. they have supervised visits a few times a day, and – for the most part – george behaves. sometimes, he'll even flop down on the floor in a passive pose. but then... BAM! he starts chasing larry, who flees. we suspect this is george's idea of "play," because he's not actually aggressive (no claws or hissing or biting, just chasing), but it scares the bejesus outta YB's schmoopy feline.

* tomorrow, i begin my holiday movie-going. i'm seeing "american hustle" and "her," back to back and each with a different friend. then, on monday, probably "philomena" (with mom) and "gravity" (solo). i've also got "august: osage county" on my "see before i'm once again swallowed whole by work" list.

* speaking of, and though i am technically "off" work until jan. 3rd, i have work to do over the holidays. stuff i know i won't have time to do at the office – namely, all my writing. i've got an article on 2014 films we can't wait to see, midseason replacements we're psyched to watch and a couple of olympic stories that i've decided not to write (because i know they'll be vetoed by legal).

* best news of all so far this christmas, though? LARRY NO LONGER SMELLS!!!!!! at ALL!!!! the neutering totally did the trick, and his blindingly smelly pee is no more. i could not be happier!!!!! (and, since he's been staying chez mom and dad for almost a week now, so is mom!)

merry christmas!

i'm spending christmas eve at my place because YB is still without power. she and larry -- who's recovering from his recent surgery (and doing very well!) -- are bunking at my parents' house, so i'll be heading over there tomorrow. apparently, larry and george have had a couple of very brief, but very civil, face-to-face meetings. we'll see if that continues.

though i normally spend christmas eve with trix, i've enjoyed being on my own today. i went for a big walk, took a slew of photos, wrapped presents, attended mass and made dinner (vegan sausage with roasted potatoes). now, i find myself watching a Long Island Medium marathon.

despite the chilliness of my apartment (which hasn't gone above about 55ºF since sunday morning), it's been a really nice, relaxing day.

hope everyone has a merry christmas! wishing you happiness and peace and, of course, CAKE*. :-D

[*but not fruitcake, because fruitcake is not cake.]