from what vs. where, to why vs. what...

yesterday, i wrote about picnics and freeways, and the perils inherent in trying to merge the two.

today, i’m thinking about the why of something vs. the what that something is. (and i recognize the questionable structure of the preceding sentence, but i’m choosing to move on.)

a couple of weeks ago, i saw a documentary wherein a very sage, very sweet and funny spiritual advisor in india made a comment along the lines of, “it is not the what that is important in life, it is the why.” the example he used was making dinner. he said that the act of making someone dinner wasn’t what mattered, it was the reason for doing it.

if, for example, your enemy held you at gunpoint and told you to make dinner, you would... but filled with fear and anger and resentment and a profound sense of not wanting to do it.

if, however, you were happily and willingly and of your own volition making dinner for someone you loved dearly, the reasons for your efforts and the feelings they would elicit within you would be vastly different.

same what; different why.

cut to yesterday, when i had a small epiphany regarding something i’d written last summer. it was a play, one draft only, and something i’d written just to see if i could do it. a friend had challenged me, given me a deadline and off i went. and, in the end, i finished it... but wasn’t happy with it. i loved the idea i’d come up with, but felt that the final product (even though it was only a first draft and could be revised ad infinitum) was seriously lacking something. i couldn’t pinpoint what but the whole thing felt meh, so i just chucked the project onto the “i’ll get back to this later” pile.

where it’s remained, untouched, not at all looked at, ignored ever since.

then yesterday i suddenly realized what was lacking: i loved what the lead character was doing, but i hadn’t really explored why she was doing it. there were some flimsy whys i’d created at the outset, but certainly not to any kind of deep and meaningful degree. thankfully, this realization came in tandem with resources that will help me enrich the why of her actions. so, you know, i have some research to do.

and then some rewriting.

why? because i want what i’ve written to fly, not flounder.