anatomy of a terrible plate of pancakes

* they are pale beige in colour, as though the batter is only just barely this side of cooked.

* they are not only stuck to each other, but have apparently adhered to the plate on which they arrived. they literally have to be pulled apart.

* they smell funny.

* they have the consistency of rubber. cutting them is surprisingly difficult and results in further adhesion to each other and the plate.

* the syrup is foamy on top, as though the bottle has been shaken or the syrup itself is actually somehow carbonated. it pours like dark brown water.

* the pancakes are sour... and so is the experience of trying to eat them.

* fin.