a little goes a long way, unfortunately

so, the weekend was a little challenging, emotionally.

even though i’ve pulled myself out of my hole over the past several months, every now and again something happens, or nothing happens, and i unexpectedly lose my footing a little. and i don’t always have someone there to toss me a life line or grab onto my belt loop before i fall.

i see a small thread – of my own sadness, or regret, or fear, or hurt, or self-doubt, or self-loathing, or disappointment, or whatever – and i hold onto that instead.

then i pull on it.

and i keep pulling and pulling and pulling, until everything is unraveled and i’m standing in a giant pile of ugly tangles.

each time, i realize – too late – what i should have done was snip off the small thread as soon as i noticed it.

but, sometimes, old habits, especially deeply rooted ones, die hard.

and, sometimes, i just can't find my scissors.