are we ready to begin?

before christmas, i had all these ideas about what i wanted to do with my two weeks off. i'd planned to take big walks, go shopping, take photos, maybe paint YB's kitchen and just generally do stuff that didn't involve me sitting.

then i got sick on christmas eve and the 11 days that followed were basically a write-off. best-laid plans and all that.

as anyone who dropped in on this blog during that time knows: i didn't write, either.

as 2012 was drawing to a close, i thought i'd be filled with verve and excitement about 2013, ready to make plans and set goals and get myself psyched for the year to come. funny how cooties can suck the life out of you, physically and mentally. i thought i'd be writing a kick-ass "this is what i want from 2013" blog entry but, instead, i was lying on the couch, watching TV marathons, eating spicy soup and trying not to cough myself into oblivion when the year started.

and now, on january 14th, a new year's post seems a little belated.

but... what the heck. 2013 is still pretty much a blank slate, so why not put some stuff out into the universe?

i don't know what the next 11 1/2 months will contain, but i'm hoping to be living in my own home by next year at this time. so much has changed in my building in the past couple of months that everything in the apartment complex outside my front door now seems foreign. the noise won't end anytime soon, the management company would love for me to leave and i don't know that i have the energy to engage in the inevitable hearings that will come when they notify us all that they're applying to hike the rent. i know my ideal home is out there somewhere; i just need to find it. more importantly, i feel ready to find it.

work continues to be plentiful (*knock on wood*). some days, i can't quite believe how much has changed on that front in two years. i went from profound unemployment to steadily working for FOUR magazines. i'm looking forward to more of the same in 2013. bigger stories, more responsibility, new opportunities. our department is growing and i've become a vital part of the machine driving that growth. even better, i've developed a slew of professional relationships that will ensure i always have a foot in the door somewhere. i'm so relieved, and so pleased to say that i'm not worried about my career.

what i am "worried" about is my creativity. i'll be honest: i haven't really written anything of my own in more than a year, and i find it very hard to motivate myself to be creative for more than about five minutes at a time. and i'm not happy about it. i feel like i'm letting a part of me down, and i know i've got a bunch of awesome projects somewhere inside me. there's a bestseller in there! and a screenplay or two! and a bunch of po-emes! and drawings and paintings and crafts! i just need to get 'em out. and, to do that, i need to clear the creative logjam. i'm considering redoing The Artist's Way and its 12 weeks of exercises in the hopes of doing that, and complementing my professional work with more personal stuff.

that's part of the reason i'm going to try the blog-a-day thing. again.

as for other stuff in 2013, who knows?

i want to get back behind the wheel to practice my driving so YB and i can embark on more road trips... including maybe one to kentucky to see my pal, moob! but i'd also like to be able to drive my mom around when we go shopping -- she plays chauffeur enough for my dad, so it would be nice for her to see the world from the passenger seat more often.

i'd like to master a new recipe or two. last year, i conquered the cheesecake. i haven't yet decided what to tackle in 2013.

i'm hoping to continue to expand my skills, professionally. keep learnin' indesign. keep making cool stuff. keep keeping my brain sharp.

basically, as i said in my end-of-2012 post, i want to improve on what the past year brought me. to do better and be better, and to accept myself and my decisions no matter how things turn out.

OMG, what if i have a cat by next january? :-)