in the shadow

so, i started rereading The Artist's Way. i haven't yet committed to the tasks and exercises, but i'm reading the book and its lessons again.

the first chapter includes a section on "shadow artists." these aren't folks who create art using shadows, these are would-be artists who choose to live in the shadows of their art instead of pursuing it outright. people who want to act who, instead, work in the periphery of acting. people who want to sing who, instead, work for a record label. people who want to be playwrights who, instead, work as journalists. you get the idea.

i remember this chapter resonating with me back when i read the book the first time, but the theories it contained practically reached up from the pages in front of me and slapped me in the face this time. lately, i've been speaking a lot about feeling like i'm letting my potential down, and coasting on my work instead of pushing myself to create my own stuff. reading that chapter the other night, i realized i'm a big, fat shadow artist!

and, even more so now than at the time of my first go-round with the Way. i've spent much of the past few years in the shadows, helping other artists with their art (which is another trait of the shadow artist). i've written for them, and cheered for them, and supported them... but have largely ignored myself and my art in the process. (uh, and please know how much i want to roll my eyes when i write the words "my art." it sounds so pretentious! oh look: self-criticism. another shadow artist issue!)

now, as for how to remedy the shadow-artist situation: that's what the next 11 chapters of the book will cover. i can't actually remember much of what to do, but i do know that i haven't been doing any of it. if part of solving one's problem is recognizing that the problem exists, then hopefully i'm on the right track.