floridories (florida stories) #1: the accommodations

mom's been renting units at the same beachside condo in florida for about 11 years. she's been renting the current unit every year since about 2005. it's always been a little meh -- decorated sometime in the late-1980s and then never updated -- but, in recent years, it's really started to show its age.

we rent directly from the owner and, because we've been renting from him for so long, he's cut mom a pretty good deal: about $450 per week, plus a $90 end-of-stay cleaning fee. most other one-bedroom units in the complex rent for $600 per week and up, with some renting close to $1000 per week, so we know we're getting a bargain.

thing is, we're also getting a bargain experience. which is to say: there's a lot of room for improvement.

the "cleaning" done between guests is cursory, at best. so, we usually spend a few hours cleaning and rewashing linens upon arrival. the "white" towels are typically grey until we launder them with bleach. (magically, they return to white. shocking!) i disinfest every surface -- table- and countertops, light switches, remotes, door knobs, etc. -- with disposable wipes that, inevitably, reveal the sub-par "cleaning job" done by the seriously sketchy-looking cleaning crew responsible for the building.

and the floors. oh, the floors. they are tiled and are FILTHY. last year, i was so fed up with the soles of my feet turning black from the filth that i actually attempted to mop the floors... but they need a hardcore, industrial cleaning. the grout in the high-traffic areas is black; the grout closer to the walls (where no one ever walks) is a light beige.

now, we're used to all this. again, for $450 a week, on the beach, we figure we have to make some concessions. but the condition of the unit itself is now slowly deteriorating.

the shelves are all sway-backed from the weight of the ancient, heavy dishware. the area under the sink is the stuff of nightmares and, this year, we found two containers of roach killer inside the bathroom vanity. i immediately searched the unit for: 1. bugs, and 2. further roach killer.

i found a pile of the roachicide behind one of the couches, along with a roach trap. behind the other couch? another roach trap. now, it's entirely possible that these are preventative measures -- the building is inspected monthly by a pest-control company, and we've never, ever seen a roach.

still. it was enough to give us pause.

the vertical blinds in the east-facing living room were broken this year. they were stuck in the "open" position, meaning we were blinded by light and baked by heat each morning... until i fashioned a super-classy "curtain" using a bedsheet and some clothespins.

the vertical blinds in the bedroom had also been broken since our last stay. they were sort of half-open... problematic, given that the bedroom window looks out into the common hallway/atrium of the complex. i fashioned another curtain.

the remote control for the living-room TV had obviously had something sticky spilled on/in it, because the volume and channel buttons frequently became "stuck" when pressed. the remote for the TV in the bedroom was held together with scotch tape and had a dead battery hermetically sealed inside.

the furniture and area rugs are dirty and worn, and the mattresses look they're original to the construction of the building, they're that old.

for only about $1000, the condo unit's owner could really jazz up (and clean!) the place, but another resident in the building says it won't happen. "he's cheap," she told my mother, adding that he (the unit's owner) doesn't want to spend any money on updates or improvements.

so, this year might have been our last in that unit. yes, it's super-familiar and we know exactly what we're getting when we book, but i also pointed out that, for about $200 a week more, we could have a nicer unit in the same complex, with two bedrooms (instead of one) and two bathrooms (instead of one)... and, presumably, furnishings from this century.

we'll see.