i'm giving serious thought to resigning...

... not from the company, because i really like my colleagues, but certainly from this position. after a wonderful five-day escape to the U.S. (filled with junk food and misadventures), i went back to work today and walked face first into a mountain of work. it's amazing how much accumulated in only 48 hours (monday was a holiday here in canada).

more than the sheer volume of work, though, it's the thanklessness of the work that's getting to me. it's like being in a job where you only ever do things wrong. and then hear about how wrong it all is.

no matter what i put before the clients, no matter what's been written or how a page has been designed or how much effort has gone into something, it's always wrong. there is no pleasing them, and their tastes change by the day.

one issue, the colours are too bright. so we mute them. the next issue? the colours are too boring and need to be "more exciting."

copy is too serious and needs to be "more fun." so, we write "fun" copy and it's deemed too lighthearted and fluffy.

they want black, so we give them black. then they want white, so we delete the black and give them white. then they decide they want brown. then purple. then back to black.

it's like banging your head against a wall.

and no one ever says, "thank you." thanks for doing a good job, thanks for staying until 8pm, thanks for keeping things moving, thanks for not quitting, thanks for picking up everyone's slack.

unfortunately for me, there's no sign of it getting better anytime before, oh, january. and i have my doubts that january will actually bring relief, since it's been promised to me since july.

"next month will be better."

yet every month is actually worse than the last, and i'm growing decreasingly interested in seeing just how bad it can get. i rarely take lunch, i have no life outside the office, i'm always the last to leave the office... and, over the past little while, i've started to reevaluate whether this is the kind of job i want. one where i don't enjoy what i do, and one where i'm tired all the time. i left full-time work for exactly the reasons i'm considering leaving it again.

so, i'm thinking. in the meantime, please enjoy the first photo i took on this weekend's road trip -- it's the rest area in grimsby, just after 7am, as the fog was slowly lifting.