pulling on the thread

it's been a few weeks of painting and reno work at the condo. well, a few weekends, and then today – canada day – as well. even though stuff is getting done, it still feels like there's so much left to finish. and with every new project comes the discovery of something else that will require tending to.

for example, the guest bathroom. that room is turning into a never-ending series of fix-it jobs and heavy sighs. first, the ledge above the toilet was sawed off. then every inch of all the walls was sanded, by hand, by me. then it was primed. then painted. then taped off and painted again.

the sink faucet and the light fixture should be replaced, but i can't be bothered at this point. they'll do for now. the toilet is original to construction and should also probably be replaced, along with the faucet in the shower. the shower stall itself has cracks and gaps, and i try not to keep myself awake at night worrying about exactly how much water has crept between the walls over the past 25 years.

a couple of days after we'd finished painting the guest bathroom, i noticed the paint along the edge of the shower was blistering. sure enough, on the other side of the wall (inside the shower), there was a big crack.

since a bathroom reno is not in the cards (or the budget) for quite a few years yet, i decided to put on a band-aid. i had a tube of caulking and a profound desire to plug the crack, so i let the bathroom dry out completely for a couple of days (i showered chez YB and my parents), then set about caulking.

and with every crack i sealed, i found a new one. so i'd seal that, and find another. for the love of mary, did violet or her kids NEVER fix ANYTHING???

then, i made the mistake of getting down on my knees in the shower stall and peering under the marble ledge on which the sliding glass doors sit. below the ledge, there was no caulking at all. nothing. just a 1/3" OPEN GAP TO NOWHERE.

omg.

immediately, my mind raced through every home-renovation show i've ever seen, and all the times i've watched homeowners and show hosts crack open bathroom walls to reveal black mould. no doubt, a ton of water had crept through that big, open gap (which runs the length of the shower doors) for more than two decades.

so, i filled it. i pumped a ton of caulking in until everything was sealed shut. thankfully (?), because of the cracks on the exterior of the shower, i know air can still get in there to keep drying it out a bit. in a week or so, i'll probably caulk the outside. then, whatever's growing in there can keep on growing. or die. or whatever. i don't want to think about it. i also don't want to think about that odd discolouration in the floor-tile grout next to the toilet... the one that comes and goes. i'm really hoping that tightening the toilet bolts (which weren't tight) will make whatever moisture has apparently been ever-so-slowly creeping out, you know, stop creeping.

i don't want to think about those things because there are at least three dozen other things that need to be addressed first, and i'm trying to stay the course. because turning my attention to every new problem that springs up prevents me from moving forward. i pull on the proverbial thread... and then wind up pulling and pulling and pulling... then pulling more... and, before i know it, i'm eye-deep in an enormous tangle of metaphorical yarn.

it's something i need to work on. the thread-pulling. both in terms of the condo and the rest of my life.