awww, F-WORD!

as in: f**k.

as in: fan.

as in: my f**king fan is a fiasco.

over the past few days, i've noticed a tiny "krink" sound whenever my six-week-old standing fan would oscillate. sort of like the sound you would hear in a trick knee while climbing stairs or a wonky back when bending over to pick up a dropped spoon. the sound, while faint, was enough to make me wonder if my amazing fan was, in fact, not so amazing after all. i mean, i only ever ran it for two or three hours at a time before turning it off when the motor casing became the least bit warm to the touch, so it's not like i was pushing it to its functioning limits.

then, just now and after all of 15 minutes in operation, i heard a loud SNAP/CRACK from somewhere within the fan. three seconds later, the speed of the blades slowed dramatically and adjusting the speed settings did nothing. the jet-engine-like force of the wind was now a mere light breeze. i turned it off, turned it back on (apparently i thought rebooting would work for a fan, but no) and the status remained the same...with the addition of a curious smell that told me instantly to turn it back off.

so, here's the rub: the 30-day in-store warranty ("we'll fix it or replace it!") expired only two weeks ago. the manufacturer's warranty says that, if i want the unit fixed or replaced, i have to ship the whole thing TO CALIFORNIA at my own expense...plus pay for them to ship it back to me. WHAT THE HELL?! the fan was a birthday gift from my parents, so i'm hoping they still have the receipt and that the store will somehow replace this defective unit...but i'm skeptical.

all of this is happening just as we're beginning yet another heat wave in the city. so now, i'm facing 90F...FANLESS.

F**K.

update: okay, so i called my mother and she and i trucked the dead fan back to sears where, much to my amazement and delight, they took it back without incident and gave her a full refund. evidently, they offer a one-year (?!) warranty on the products they sell. who knew? i'd envisioned another horrible customer-service nightmare, but no. unfortunately, given the hot weather we've experienced since june 12th (when the original, now-dead fan was purchased), my pretty, stylish, mint-green, kitchen-aid-like fan is now virtually extinct in the city of toronto. we managed to find one at another sears, but it was the last one in stock and the floor model. they gave it to us for 15% off, and said the warranty was still valid for a year on it, so i'm cautiously optimistic that this one will last longer than six weeks. fingers crossed!