a hole-y post-script

one additional note on cracks and holes, and perhaps something that might be better served analogously by the story of the chilean miners:

the importance of a helping hand out.

or, more to the point, simply knowing such a hand exists if you need it.

imagine what life would have been like for those miners stuck in that hole hundreds of metres below the surface of the earth had they believed that no one was coming for them.

that no one was up top, in the sunshine, trying to reach them.

that no one cared whether they lived or died in the darkness.

that people peered down into the hole, just kind of shrugged their shoulders and said, “they’re fine. i’m sure they’ll figure it out.” then walked away.

those miners survived their ordeal, in part, because they knew they hadn’t been forgotten.

they knew people – family, friends, colleagues, even strangers thousands of miles away – were invested in their rescue, even if the only “help” they could provide was simply a prayer or a good thought.

they knew people cared because people made sure they knew it.

the same holds true for anyone who slips through a proverbial crack, or winds up trapped in a metaphoric hole.

it matters to know that people care.

it matters to know you haven’t been forgotten.

it matters to know a hand will reach down to grab hold and help pull you to the surface if you can't do it for yourself.

because that kind of knowing helps get you through.

knowing. not hoping or wishing or suspecting or wondering or feeling "pretty sure."

knowing.

it’s a mistake for those standing outside the hole to presume that their love and support is automatically understood and felt by the person in it. that’s the time when it's important for those things to be spoken and demonstrated and confirmed, even if they seem like they should be obvious.

because it’s hard for the person in the hole to see much of anything when it’s that dark.

instead, when you’re in the abyss, there’s plenty of time to make note of who throws you a life line or acknowledges you’ve fallen and might need a boost back up. who drops “sustenance” down to you or who, to paraphrase Ferris Bueller’s ed rooney, leaves your cheese in the wind.

who notices and makes an effort, and who shrugs.

and, truly, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. i’m not talking about heroically riding in on a white stallion with an enormous floodlight and The Solutions to All of Life’s Troubles.

i mean little things.

a kind word. a silly email. a phone call. an invitation for ice cream.

a sincere “hey, how’s it going?”

any number of small, subtle gestures can make all the difference between a bleak day and one that’s a little brighter. or a lot brighter.

they may seem insignificant or pointless to a casual observer but they can be invaluable to the person struggling to escape or seeking rescue. they establish connection. they provide hope. they offer a momentary ray of light that cuts through the darkness to serve as a reminder that a way out is possible.

and, more importantly, they affirm that someone cares whether you find it.