when in doubt, start over

my next screenplay deadline is december 1st.

by the end of that day, i have to have completed a first draft.

it can be an awful first draft, worthy of a recycling bin, but it has to be a finished one.

beginning, middle, end. finished.

because, from that raw, rambling mess, a masterpiece can gradually be molded.

if you recall, i wasn't exactly in love with my story when i finished the outline back in mid-october. i hemmed and hawed over whether to keep going with it, or revisit an old one i'd found in a moment of procrastination. ultimately, i decided to forge ahead with the freshly completed outline. sort of a "finish what i started" logic.

then, a couple of weeks ago, i realized i'd made the wrong character the lead character. and, thereafter, it became clear that i was also telling the wrong story. aw, f-word.

proceeding became something like trying to drag a sleeping elephant through a tar pit.

which is to say: slow and agonizing.

i couldn't get things moving. i started hating everything about the existing outline from which i was working and debated whether to continue just for the sake of meeting my december 1st deadline, or to scrap it all and start over... which might make finishing by december 1st extremely difficult.

i really struggled with what would be more important and useful for me: meeting a deadline, or producing a piece of work i liked. which one would make me feel good about myself? which one would be more satisfying? which one would mean more in the bigger picture of my life? and, for a while, i really believed it was an either/or debate. i could do one or the other, but not both.

then i remembered the NaNoWriMo philosophy of just writing.

quantity over quality.

charging ahead, writing whatever comes out and NOT EVER going back to edit as you do so.

always moving forward for the sake of the word count, and recognizing that endless amounts of editing and tweaking and rewriting can happen after the words "the end" are typed on that first draft.

huh.

wait a second.

why not apply that same principle to the first draft of a screenplay?, i thought.

why not see if i can just write without constantly reviewing and spinning my wheels to find the right line (or setting or word or joke), when i can write a functional line (or setting or word or joke) for now and go back to insert the absolute perfect one later?

problem (hopefully) solved.

so, today, i changed course. i changed main characters. i changed some of the story. i sketched out a very rough new blueprint using most of the old outline... but with key changes and new directions added.

and, though i'm starting over, i will be moving forward in a much more satisfying -- and likely much more chaotic -- way.

still aiming to have the first draft done on deadline.

in thirteen days.

fingers crossed.