adventures in physiotherapy

the last chapters of the iceland tales will appear (hopefully) next week. i currently have five (!) writing assignments to finish, all of which are due on halloween or november 1st. in the meantime...

at some point in april or may, i tore something in my abdominal wall. not a big tear, not a hernia or anything, but i was stretching backwards to pose for a photo when i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my lower right abdomen, as though i'd just pulled something.

for the next, oh, five months or so, that pain would recur anytime i reached upwards or bent backwards or just turned funny. it would wax and wane, alleviated by exercise and aggravated by any movement or activity that involved the stretching of my abdominal muscles.

my chiropractor kept telling me i should go have an abdominal ultrasound to make sure it wasn't another cyst but, as many of you will recall, ultrasounds and i do not get along. (and, yes, i do remember that the second one went much better than the first one had.) so, heading to see dr. textbook to chat with her about my recurring, stretch-related ab pain, and having her order a battery of needless tests for what i knew in my gut (pun intended) was some kind of muscle-related injury, wasn't tops on my list of fun ways to spend an afternoon.

so, i let the discomfort continue. it had improved, albeit very very slowly, since may, but was still present if i reached or bent over or twisted my torso.

then, a few weeks ago and when she said there was really nothing more she could do for me chiropractically, my chiropractor handed me a piece of paper with a name and website URL on it. she said it was for a physiotherapist to whom she referred any problem cases she couldn't solve. she said this physio was amazing, and that she'd likely be able to diagnose whatever was causing my pain in record time.

when i asked where this physio -- let's call her monique -- was located, i found out she was in my neighbourhood. when i asked how much she'd charge, i was told to just suck it up and pay whatever the fee would be so that this issue could finally be resolved. fair 'nuff.

when i got home, i looked up monique's website and saw her address -- it would literally be a three minute walk right down my street to her office. i took that as a sign and made an appointment.

and, so it was that, last friday, i went to see monique, a spirited francophone in her 50s. her office is in her (big, fancy) house, and it's got all the equipment you'd expect to find. i had to fill out a massive questionnaire and answer all kinds of questions about this abdominal pain. monique had me do a number of different exercises so she could observe what caused the pain to recur and what didn't.

after maybe seven or eight minutes, and as i was lying on her comfy (magnetized!) table, she said she was almost positive she knew exactly what was wrong, but that she had one more test for me to perform and, if that triggered the pain, she'd know she was right.

she instructed me (as i lay on my back) to raise my left knee towards my chest while simultaneously lifting up my head. as soon as i did that, PANG! the pain hit, clear and precise.

"yes, i was correct!" she said, and promptly informed me that i had (at some point) sprained my obliques, and that the treatment-less months that followed postponed proper healing. she also added that my core strength is nonexistent, and that my pelvis is too loose.

*rimshot *

make your own joke.

for the next 45 minutes (my one-hour session wound up stretching to 75 minutes, but i wasn't charged extra -- score!), monique led me through a series of strengthening exercises aimed at contracting the injured muscles and getting them back in proper working order. she gave me homework, which i've been doing twice a day, as instructed.

and, tomorrow, i go back for a second appointment to see if they've made any difference, to get more magnetized treatment and to learn new exercises for the weeks to come.