the bucket shower

when i arrived home from work on wedneday night, there were notices pasted all over the main entrance and lobby of my apartment building, advising that the water would be shut off for eight or so hours on thursday. the city is updating municipal plumbing in our neighbourhood, so this was going to be a part of that process.

on thursday morning, before leaving for work and because i wanted to be prepared in the event that the water shut-off might turn out to be more than eight hours, i filled up all my water jugs, filled a basin in the kitchen sink with soapy water, and filled a utility bucket with water and left it standing in my bathtub. "if the water's still off when i get home," i thought to myself, "i'll be able to use this to flush the toilet if i have to."

thursday turned out to be a long day at the office (shocker!), and i'd forgotten about the water shut-off until i was already on my way home. when i arrived at the building, all the notices were gone, and i could hear people running water in their apartments. ah, very good.

sure enough, after a few standard spurts and sputters and bursts of air when first turning on my taps, the water was back on and was, thankfully, not brown. (a temporary side effect that's remedied by running the water for a couple of minutes until it's clear again.)

i had dinner, got my lunch ready for friday and then headed into the bathroom to take my shower. i'd forgotten about the bucket of water in my tub, and stared at it for a bit when i saw it. even though it was only a bucketful, i didn't want to waste it and just pour it down the drain.

the world, after all, is in a water crisis, and every drop of wasted water matters. i'd watered my plants a couple of days prior, so they weren't thirsty. because the bucket is one i use for hand-washing clothes, i didn't want to drink the water. what to do?

it was a hot night, the water was cool... why not use it to wash?

i added a little hot water to the bucket, just to get the temperature up to a non-jarring range, grabbed a bath sponge and did just that.

and i was STUNNED at how little water i actually needed to have a full "shower." (note: i did not wash my hair, though, which would obviously have required a good amount more.)

i used maybe 1/10 of the bucketful to soak myself fully. then soap and lather. then about half of what remained in the bucket to fully rinse myself off, one spongeful of water at a time. i used a few more handfuls to wash my face at the very end, and then i was done. clean and refreshed.

when i was done, there was still probably about 1/4 of the bucketful left. i couldn't believe it. it's not a large bucket, either. just a standard-size utility pail, the kind you might use to wash your car.

it was an eye-opening moment in terms of my own water consumption and, i would assume, the water consumption involved in a typical shower. i'm sure i use more than 3/4 of a bucket of a water when i shower, and probably six buckets full when i take a bath. but all i really need for a thorough wash is that 3/4.

i highly recommend you give it a try. if you don't have an absorbent bath sponge (the kind that soaks up a goodly amount of water when dunked), just use a small cup to scoop and dispense water. you may be surprised at how easy, and eco-friendly, your "shower" will be.

here's the thing about sleep...

... if you get enough of it, a really good amount of it all in one night, you can wake up feeling MUCH better about things.

that's what happened last night. feeling weepy and frustrated, i packed it in just after 10pm and promptly fell into a fantastic, sound sleep for a solid eight hours.

and, when i awoke this morning, the weepiness and frustration had lifted, and i was able to think more clearly and logically about things.

my biggest stressor was the notion of having an invasive procedure that might not actually be necessary. in hindsight, the incident that caused my concern-turned-panic was highly explainable and normal, and i think my exhaustion (i hadn't slept properly in several nights leading up to my birthday) led me to worry needlessly and rush into a doctor's appointment, encouraged by too much googling of symptoms on sunday night and the subsequent unearthing of endless dire diagnoses.

in short: i jumped the gun. had i waited a few more days, i would have seen (as i am seeing now) symptoms vanish, and i likely wouldn't have called the doctor at all. physically, i'm feeling better -- almost no stomach cramping or indigestion, and certainly no blood anywhere it shouldn't be.

the idea of taking back the reins of my own medical care made me feel much better and somewhat empowered. instead of feeling suddenly forced into this stressful procedure at a clinic run by old men (something that, in and of itself, makes me not want to go) at a time when i'm already feeling stressed-out and overextended, i reminded myself that i can actually refuse the procedure outright if i want to. or choose to postpone it for a while, or do research myself and find a clinic/doctor i'm comfortable with and then, if symptoms persist or get worse, have the procedure on my terms. it's amazing what that did for my outlook and mood.

having slept well also meant i was better able to handle the demands of the day, and to get stuff done. i cancelled my attendance at a few screenings, which also alleviated a good amount of stress (since i had no idea how i'd find time to go to these movies AND write the reviews AND still get enough sleep AND get my work done). it's a short-term sacrifice for, hopefully, better long-term well-being.

once i log off for the night (shortly), i'll be showering, brushing my teeth and aiming to be in bed at or around 10pm, in the hopes of making it back-to-back good sleeps. hopefully, that'll keep things moving properly and with less distress, all around.

i am starting to hate my job

i never wanted to be one of those people who dreads going in to work each morning, but i am fast becoming one.

the amount of work that needs to be done is staggering, and i am having a hard time keeping/catching up. i'm working extra hours (i'm usually the last one to leave the office at night), cancelling things i enjoy (no more evening screenings!) and i'm trying to juggle all the work at my "day job" with the freelance writing i want to be doing (for the entertainment magazine).

because i'm a "managing" editor, i'm spending an inordinate amount of time managing... which i do not enjoy. i left my full-time years ago because i'd moved into management and hated it. yet, here i am again. sacrificing the fun stuff (writing) for the unfun stuff (tracking invoices, updating spreadsheets and attending meeting after meeting after meeting). i'm also the last set of eyes to see stuff before it's posted online, which is a big responsibility and one that i actually take very seriously. maybe too seriously.

all this stress has begun to affect me physically. i've had stomach troubles on and off for the past two weeks and, this weekend, [caution: what follows is definitely TMI] blood where there shouldn't be blood.

cue: a visit to dr. textbook first thing this morning and the news that i have a sigmoidoscopy to look forward to in the coming weeks.

i wanted to cry.

for the uninitiated, a sigmoidoscopy is like 1/3 of a colonoscopy.

dr. textbook, whose bedside manner is actually improving (or i'm just getting used to her personality), said she's almost positive all my symptoms are a result of stress-induced IBS, but she wants to make sure that's really all it is. "whenever there's blood," she said, "we want to check it out."

she suggested i try to find ways to reduce my stress levels.

"well, knowing that i have to have this test is definitely NOT going to lower them," i said.

i'm just exhausted. i feel like quitting. as a result of being exhausted and overworked, i'm starting to make mistakes -- losing track of things, forgetting to get stuff done, asking clients for information they already provided. that, in turn, just makes me feel worse. i feel like i have absolutely no time for anything.

i'm having sun chips and birthday cake for dinner, and then i have more work to do. :-(

today is mah birthday!

for the first time in many, many, many years, i'll actually be going to work on my birthday.
a bunch of us are going out for burritos at lunch
(i hope the upset stomach i've been nursing for three days settles down by then!)
and then i have a screening tonight.
i had cake yesterday (stomach be damned), and it was delicious.
:-)

bew-falo, here we come!

the weather doesn't look great, but doesn't look terrible, so YB and i will be getting up at 5:30am to be on the road by 6. border by 8. walmart by 8:15am.

and then a good eight hours or so of shopping and eating.

i have a list of stuff i need to buy (stocking up, since we might not be back in the states until the fall) and want to buy (as treats for myself). and i have a mental list of the junk food i would like to consume before we head home at the end of the day. it includes, but is not limited to: a ted's hot dog (with fries), a moe's burrito (free for my birthday!), a mcdonald's frozen strawberry (raspberry?) lemonade and maybe an auntie anne's pretzel, though that might be pushing it.

fingers crossed for quick, easy and safe travels there and back. :-)

PHEW!

when i headed to the office this morning, i knew a mountain of work awaited me.

but i finished it all, with 20 minutes to spare before it was time to head home.

and that felt SO good!

that is all.

screening line vignette: parental guidance recommended

last night, i went to a screening of Monsters University that was epic in its disorganization and overall sloppy execution. needlessly long lines, a 40-minute wait to get into the theatre, a film that then started 45 minutes late, obnoxious children, moronic parents... by the time i finally headed home, i was exhausted.

before being let into the venue, we had to stand in two separate lineups: one to get our tickets, and one to wait to get our seats. the lines were crammed (maze-like) into small spaces, people were irritated, it was stuffy and crowded. no fun.

the family behind me had a very-excited little boy with them. he was maybe six or seven years old, and a whirling dervish of energy who kept knocking into me. his mother repeatedly asked him to settle down and, to his credit, he eventually did... because his parents handed him a smartphone so he could play games on it. whatever.

while waiting to get into the venue, the mother left to get popcorn, and the dad stayed in line with his son and his daughter (who looked about four). as i stood, staring at the ceiling and wondering how much longer we'd be standing in line, i felt a tug on my sleeve.

"would you mind keeping an eye on my son while i take her (motioning to the little girl) to the washroom," said the dad, who clearly had no grasp of child safety in today's world.

i looked around, wondering if anyone else had heard what he'd just said. we were jammed in the middle of a serpentine line-up of at least 150 people (and counting), and the we could be let in at any time.

"uh, maybe you should wait until after we're let in," i said. "the line could start moving anytime now, and then i'd have to take him into the theatre." because, dad, i'm not going to stand outside with your kid and wait for you to get back -- i'd like a seat.

"oh, yeah, you're right," said the dad.

about three minutes later, he thought he'd come up with a brilliant solution. and, again, tapped me on the shoulder.

"i'm going to go tell my wife that she should come back over if the line starts to move," said the dad, already heading off with his daughter.

"o-KAaaay," said i, skeptical that this idea was going to fly with this guy's wife. i looked down at his son, who was so engrossed in the video game on his phone that i don't think he even noticed his dad had disappeared. i hoped he would stay that way, and that i wouldn't suddenly have a panicked kid on my not-his-guardian-or-even-someone-he-knows hands.

i watched the dad head to the concession area and locate his wife, who promptly took her daughter's hand, shoved empty pop cups at the dad and headed towards the washroom.

the dad walked back to the line.

"did you just get yelled at for leaving your son with a complete stranger?" i asked when he returned.

"yup," said he.

fin.

and so begins week three

last night, severe thunderstorms raged far, far north of the city. the storms produced enormous clouds,
visible from my apartment windows, 100km away.
and, here, i managed to snap a flash of lightning within the cell.
this photo has nothing to do with this post, but i like it and felt like including it.

week three, day one:

long client meetings.

editing.

tracking invoices.

preparing the next issue's lineup.

managing the (great) intern.

making client changes.

researching stories.

fielding client requests.

editing.

home.

see what's not on that list up there?

writing.

:-|

a photo from the weekend

THAT was a l-o-n-g week

i am posting this particular photo for my boston-loving blog reader. :-)

what looked long on monday morning turned out to be even longer.

PHEW.

there were meetings upon meetings, epic and mind-numbingly ridiculous exchanges with clients, more meetings, a ton of editing, some assigning, invoicing, spreadsheeting, following up, following up again, following up and asking for a final answer, following up to follow up on an ETA for a final answer... and even a passing exchange with leonard.

i don't think i left the office on time any day this week. i didn't take a lunch on monday or tuesday. i headed home after 6:30pm twice. today, when i packed it in at 5:40pm, was the closest i came to leaving work on time (5:30pm).

thankfully, i've walked to and from work every day that it hasn't been pouring rain. i even walked on one drizzly morning. [aside: thank goodness for my adorable new rain boots! they make me look forward to the grey, wet weather. :-D] i've chosen a route that takes me off the busy main streets for at least several blocks, so that i'm walking through a beautiful neighbourhood -- giant trees, sprawling gardens, huge old homes -- for a good 10-15 minutes of my 40-minute trek. apparently, studies have shown that even 10 minutes in "green space" can do wonders for your stress levels and blood pressure.

and i think my stress levels have been high this past week. even though i'm picking things up fairly quickly at work, and slowly figuring out how things are done, i'm the last set of eyes that sees stuff before it's published -- and the one who has to make sure the client gets everything the client wants -- so the onus is on me to make sure everything's perfect. (of course, i'm the one who's placed that expectation on myself. still.) i've noticed that, for the past few mornings, i've been waking up with a sore jaw, which means i've likely been clenching it and/or grinding my teeth overnight... which isn't good. i didn't sleep well at all last night, so today felt especially tiring, and i'm hoping for a great sleep tonight + a rejuvenating weekend.

tomorrow, i'll head to YB's for a bit for a small get-together she's having with a couple of her moving-back-to-england colleagues (who are both delightful). i may go for a big power walk first thing in the morning, and then i'll likely spend tomorrow night at my parents' house for some cat therapy with george. sunday might involve baking or soup-making or just grocery shopping.

and list-making -- trix has offered to take me to buffalo for a day of pre-birthday shopping next weekend. :-D

remembering mr. poo

one year ago today, we big monsieur adieu. 

i still miss his cranky, ornery, chompy-but-nonetheless-goofy personality.

this just in: i'm the world's biggest worrier

last night, i tried to call my mom but my parents' line was busy. i tried the number three times between 8 and 9pm, then gave up. i figured mom was probably on one of her epic calls with her best pal.

so, tonight, i tried again just after 7:30pm.

busy signal.

8pm.

still busy.

8:30pm.

busy.

i started to worry.

then i called trix, and asked if she'd spoken to either of our parents on the phone today. when she said no, and i explained the ongoing busy signal, she started to worry, too... though, she suspected one of them might not have hung up one of their phones correctly, unknowingly leaving it off the hook by accident.

since YB lives 10 minutes from their place, she said she'd drive over at 9pm if the line was still busy by then.

i tried again at 8:58pm.

busy.

i called trix to let her know, and she said she'd head over.

in the meantime, my mind raced. what if something had happened? my mom calls me, or i call her, almost every evening, so it was odd to me that -- if she was going to have two nights in a row of epic phone conversations -- she wouldn't call me at some point to check in. yesterday afternoon, we'd been talking about home invasions, and mom said she never opens the door to strangers -- what if someone broke in? what if the phone line had been cut? if the house burned down, surely we would have heard about it by now. what if...

i tried the number at 9:04pm.

AND IT FINALLY RANG.

of course, by then, YB was already en route.

when mom picked up, i said, "FIIIIIIIIIIINALLY!!!!"

and she couldn't understand why i'd worry. when i said trix would be ringing the doorbell shortly, she said, "oh, come on!" because she thought that was a bit much.

"imagine if you'd tried to call me," i said, "and you got a busy signal or no answer for two days, and had no way of leaving a message. wouldn't YOU worry?"

she didn't answer, just changed the subject (which is her tried-and-true avoidance tactic).

of course, now, half an hour later, i can look back and think "i was so silly to worry!" and realize that my overactive, anxiety-riddled brain got the better of me.

but at least i now know what happened, and i'll be able to sleep tonight.

fin.

the new-job to-do list: monday, june 10th, edition

* field, edit and upload incoming copy from freelancers and my colleague (let's call him "jim")

* give second reads to stories edited by jim

* meet with returning editor to discuss process (90 min.)

* find work for the new intern, then oversee said work and provide feedback

* meet with clients and fellow staff members for an SEO tutorial (60 min.)

* field and respond to queries from freelancers who haven't yet filed their stories

* meet with returning editor to discuss process further (30 min.)

* add filename and edit slugs to all stories previously edited because no one told me i had to do that when i was editing them the first time around

note: not on the schedule? lunch. i eventually packed it in at 6:15pm and was the last one to leave the office.

monday morning makes the week look l-o-n-g

i spent the weekend catching up on chores that had been shoved aside for the somewhat sudden new-job thing, so i gave my apartment a huge clean, did a load of laundry, made an herby bean soup (to take for my lunches) and then went out shopping with mom yesterday.

the weather has been wonderful of late -- temperatures have stayed below 22ºC, which is AMAZING (for me) for this time of year. any day that it isn't sweltering is a fabulous day. and, at present, the forecast for the next week indicates this cooler-than-seasonal trend will continue. rain today and tomorrow, but that just means i get to wear my colourful and fun new rain boots. :-D

today is meet-the-client day, so i hemmed and hawed a bit over what to wear. then i stopped overthinking it and just got dressed as i always do. i'm a writer/editor, after all, not a CEO, so i dismissed the fleeting notion of dressing "fancy" today. note: i don't go to work like a slob, i'm neat and professional, but casual. so, jeans in lieu of a power suit.

a slew of copy is slated to come in today, which means i will likely spend much of today and tomorrow editing. i'm hoping that the freelancers we're using are anti-leonards, who get their spell-checked, proofread stories in on time (or early). i checked my work email a few minutes ago, and i see a few stories are already in, which is great.

it will be interesting to see whether the editor of the tech mag, who's back in the office today, will actually schedule a time to sort of catch up with me and fill me in on the magazine. based on my boss's description of this editor's current disengagement, i'm going to guess: probably not. i may suggest one, though.

man, does the impending five-day week ever look long when you're sitting down to monday breakfast.

week one: done! and, boy, am i pooped...

even though it was technically a four-day work week, it was long and exhausting.

life at the office was fine -- i'm still on the learning curve, still discovering more things i don't know and still playing catch up. but i kept my head above water and got everything on my to-do list done. well, everything i was aware of, anyway. before i left today, i was chatting with my boss and said that i have this nagging feeling i didn't do something i was supposed to do... something everyone's forgotten to tell me to do... and that someone important is going to arrive at my desk at some point to say, "so, where's that thing you were supposed to do that you didn't do?"

"yup, probably," he said with a laugh.

it's been busy without being overwhelming. but i had a screening that ran late on wednesday night, so i didn't get home until 10:45pm (!), which is FAR too late for me... especially on a school night! then, last night, i met up with a friend of mine for dinner downtown, so i was once again home later than i normally like. and, even though i managed to get out of the office by 4:30pm today, all it meant was me getting home at 5 and then sitting down to finish an article for the movie magazine... which i did at 7pm. finally, my work week was officially DONE!

phew.

the tech magazine's editor is back on monday, which is also the day i'll meet the clients for the first time. we've all traded emails -- oh, the number of emails that fly back and forth throughout any given day! -- but we've not yet met (even though they work on another floor in the same building). this will also be the first time i meet clients, period, even though i've been working for clients (not these ones, per se, but still) for the past two years.

oh, and because i know the saga of leonard never gets old: he was supposed to submit a super-short set of ideas by noon today. when i'd emailed the request earlier this week (CCing my boss and my fellow ME), leonard said, "no problem."

cut to 2:30pm today. nothing at all from leonard. so, i emailed him again (this time BCCing my colleagues, since history has shown leonard gets snippy around CCs), and asked if he had an ETA.

"yes," came his curt reply. "i'll be done in two minutes."

done in two minutes???? when it's already two-and-a-half hours late???? and when it was just a ridiculously short thing that should have taken ten minutes to do, TOTAL?!

LAST MINUTING AGAIN! after the big lecture from the boss! i forwarded leonard's response to my colleagues. my fellow ME replied to me saying, "classic." and then he speculated that maybe leonard will have to be fired from this gig before he ever gets a clue as to just how unprofessional he's being. sadly, neither he nor i can fire leonard. even though we both really want to.

day one: done!

happily, my first day in my new job went well! it was busy, and there were many meetings, and i still have a lot to nail down and understand, but -- overall -- it was a pretty good day! i wound up staying until 6:15, just to get stuff finished, and i actually had to turn down a long-delayed assignment from another editor. (she'd asked about my availability a couple of weeks ago, back when i was totally free and ready to write, but didn't get around to giving me the assignment until today, when i am now no longer free and have no time to write any more than i'm already writing.)

the best news, and most pleasant surprise, of the day, though? my colleague -- the one who wanted a big chunk of money to do the job that i'm now doing -- will actually be taking on a fair amount of responsibility and absorb a good amount of the duties, which means a better distribution of the workload. AND... he doesn't like leonard! at all! he said he actually stopped using leonard for another magazine for exactly the reasons i've cited: sloppy work, late work, apathy. so, leonard will now fall under my colleague's jurisdiction (and will be given fewer stories), so i won't really have to deal with him!

in related news, leonard had two stories due yesterday, which he submitted on time but which contained EXACTLY the same sorts of errors about which he'd been spoken to. so, i feel more and more that his time with the magazine will come to an end sooner rather than later. heh.

btw, this post marks entry #1400!

paint and prep

i'm in the process of painting my desk, so i'll be brief... mainly because i'm typing this on top of mini filing cabinet and it's super-awkward. i can't even post an in-progress photo because it would mean connecting my camera to this über-uncomfortable set-up.

suffice it to say: i've spent the day getting ready to go back to work tomorrow, and for my first day as an ME. i've been watching waves of emails (on which i'm now CCed) come in all day, and it's starting to feel like a HUGE amount of work for which i am, at present, ill-prepared. i have a meeting with the production manager tomorrow morning, during which he'll fill me in on how things work.

i made a big, vegetable-y, spicy quinoa salad to take for lunch the next three days. and, early tomorrow morning, i'll go for a big, de-stressing power walk before heading to my new gig.