poe purree

1. i have discovered that i can make one of my colleagues devolve into fits of hysterical laughter if i speak like a valley girl in meetings. thus, i do it daily now.

2. the august onslaught (handling 100 stories in 30 days!) has begun, and i expect many a late night in the weeks to come.

3. speaking of, my hours for july are off the charts. i will be getting a big, fat cheque as a result.

4. i very much enjoy working with the freelancers. well, the good ones, anyway.

5. the apartment above me and one of the two beside me are both empty, which means nights have been blissfully quiet. it also means that i live in perpetual worry that whomever moves in upstairs (and, now, next door) will be a loud, inconsiderate asshat.

6. i'm going to the dentist on thursday and the chiropractor (whom i have not seen since march!) on friday. i still need to figure out when to have my hair cut. it's been nine months!

7. a friend at the office downloaded season one of Orange is the New Black for me, so i hope to watch it all this weekend. a previous attempt was thwarted by corrupt files.

8. YB and mom are off on a four-day road trip starting tomorrow morning. they're headed east along lake ontario, to picton and environs. i hope they have a splendid time and nice weather.

9. the granola i made on saturday is a huge hit at work. "this is off-the-hook good," said my cubicle neighbour.

10. the entertainment magazine is not dead, after all. so, i have a story on sandra bullock and george clooney to write.

week eight: DONE!

holy hell.

five minutes of my thursday

towards the end of the day, the editor of the tech publication -- someone senior to me -- sent me an email.

the subject line was: "E.g. Vs i.e."

at first glance, i thought it was some kind of weird code. "what's egvsie?" i thought.

then i read the email:

Style-wise, have you been giving preference to either of these?

and i realized: he thinks e.g. and i.e. mean the same thing.

i replied:

Well, “e.g.” means “for example.” It’s used to indicate an example.

As in: When you’re lost (e.g., you get off at the wrong subway stop), you cry.

While “i.e.” means “that is.” It’s used to indicate an explanation/clarification.

As in: When you’re lost and you find your way home, you cry (i.e., you weep because you’re happy).

So, I use the one that’s appropriate in a given context.

to his credit, this was his reply (which did make me smile):

Ah, I see. 

So, like: [his name] isn’t very bright (e.g., he doesn’t know the difference between e.g. and i.e.)? 

Or: Vickie is a much better editor than [his name], and that makes him cry (i.e., he cries because he’s a failure at his job)?

fin.

remember when i used to take photos?

the above photo is the last one i took -- way back on the night of june 16th, around 9:40pm, when a series of strong storms rolled through north of the city. the clouds you see are the storm clouds, which were probably some 80km away. it's not a good photo, by any means, but it was part of a series i took over about five minutes that night. other than those shots, though, my cameras have been dormant since, well, florida.

work has been insanely busy. last week, my work week was 47 hours. and i'm a freelancer! every night, i was the last one to leave the office... by a good hour or two. and yet i didn't finish the week with a cleared plate.

nonetheless, i vowed not to do any work this weekend. so, in no particular order, i made soup and granola, drove a car, played with george, went grocery shopping, went swimming and enjoyed a dinner of jerk chicken. thankfully, the blisteringly hot temperatures of last week broke on friday, so the weekend was also nice and breezy and comparatively cool (temperatures in the mid-70s instead of mid-90s).

this morning, i began my day by opening an email in which one of my colleagues unloaded on me in a huge way. he's the one who's "helping out," but whose work is inconsistent in terms of its quality. we've had to speak to him several times about stepping up his game, and he's repeatedly said he would... only to revert to bad habits over and over again. sometimes, he nails it. sometimes, it's a hot mess. last week, he submitted copy in the latter category, my editor and i discussed it, and i sent feedback with the copy i'd revised.

and he did not take kindly to it.

frankly, i was so shocked by his email that i missed many of the details and nuances, and only later (when rereading it) realized he'd basically said i didn't know what i was doing and that, among other things, i was tactless. i made the mistake of checking my work email before leaving the apartment this morning, so i was shaking by the time i left for the office. not with fear, but with frustration.

the email -- which i forwarded to my boss and the publication's editor -- resulted in a big meeting between the three of us this morning. i was asked to coddle this offended colleague "because we don't want to lose him," and i tried my best to stand up for myself. i could feel myself getting more and more upset, and caught my voice cracking a few times, but i vowed i wouldn't cry. and i didn't.

i explained how i see things -- i have higher standards than the publication's editor (which he agreed was true), and this offended colleague has been told REPEATEDLY to improve. very nicely at first, and gradually more sternly. was my feedback tough? yes. was i rude? no. "tactless"? no. i pointed out that the magazine in its current form is not the magazine for which this colleague was writing two or three years ago. the demands and expectations from the client have increased, the quality of the work has to improve dramatically and the sheer volume of work we're being asked to produce means we have to get it right on the first try -- we don't have time to send stories back and forth so they can be revised. especially not by someone who should know (and do) better in the first place.

long story short, my boss and the editor agreed with me and took my side. mostly. i sent my colleague a quick and insincere apology for my email tone (to defuse the tension), he apologized for his, and we agreed to move on. my boss told the publication's editor that he (the editor) "needs to have a talk"with the offended colleague... who also happens to be one of his good friends. not surprisingly, by the end of the day, that talk hadn't happened. i made sure to ask after it while my boss was present, so he could see that yet another task was not completed by the editor.

whatever.

i'm tired of being asked to do a job inside a framework that guarantees i cannot actually DO that job. i can't ensure the quality of the publications if, when i take action and challenge someone who's not turning in quality work, i'm told i'm being too firm. if they want me to fix what's wrong, they need to let me fix what's wrong. and, instead of worrying about "losing" someone else, maybe someone should be worrying about losing me.

because, right now, i'm not interested in continuing in this role past the film festival. and i'm not convinced that's sunk in with anyone in any kind of real way, no matter how many discussions we have or how many times i point out how and why the current setup isn't working.

so, i'm taking my life back a little at a time. tomorrow morning, i've told (not asked) my colleagues that i won't be in in the morning because i'm going to a screening. later this week, i'll be letting them know i'll be in late because i have to return a pair of shoes to a store downtown, and that store only opens at 10am. next week, i have another morning screening that i don't plan on missing. and, who knows, maybe someday before september i'll have unwound enough to grab the camera and bernard and head out on a photo expedition.

i'm fed up with shoving all my non-work to-do items to the weekend when the editor of the publication freely comes in late and leaves early due to childcare-related errands. and i'm tired of having no life outside of the office.

PHEW!

done!

and everything is fine.

the doctor saw "inflammation," but nothing of concern, and nothing that some diet changes won't fix. that inflammation can cause all of the symptoms i've had, and he said my sigmoid looked "pretty good."

to say that i am relieved to have that all done with, and to find out that there isn't anything seriously wrong with my digestive system, would be an understatement.

yay!

tomorrow

the sigmoidoscopy. that is all.

in short-er

1. i worked a 10-hour day today and barely made a dent in my to-do list.

2. i'm book for the sigmoidoscopy. this thursday at noon. it's being done by a doctor who graduated from med school in, no joke, 1958. seriously. :-|

3. tonight's dinner: an apple, some BBQ rice chips and a nanaimo bar.

4. it's 86ºC in my apartment, and we're on day one of a five-day heat wave.

5. ask me how my monday was.

in short

1. looks like the entertainment magazine is no more. so, much to my profound chagrin, that's the end (for now) of some of the most fun writing i've ever done.

2. after not hearing from the sigmoidoscopy clinic this week, i called them to see about a booking an appointment. and, after waiting on hold, i was told they never received a referral from dr. textbook. so, despite having called dr. textbook's office on monday to request the referral (which they were supposed to send by EOD monday), and despite dr. textbook's insistence that i go have this test, my referral never happened. so, i called dr. textbook's office again today to ask what had happened, and no one ever called me back.

3. i have worked epic hours this week, and i am very very tired. i was so tired and frustrated at work today that i made myself leave the office for lunch. i went for a walk, went to whole foods (where i bought a make-your-own sandwich... which i then found out was on sale!), ran into a friend (twice) en route to WF and then again on my way back to the office. i felt better this afternoon. but still worked until 7pm and am STILL not finished.

4. i am having crapola dinners of late. they're not even dinners as much as "after-work snacks." by the time i get home around 8pm each night, i no longer feel like making a big dinner. (the heat doesn't help in this regard.) so, i've been having cereal and/or chips. and, since starting this new job, i've lost about four pounds. i shouldn't be losing any pounds, let alone four.

5. my new merrells have shipped from calgary and are on their way to me as i type this.

my sunday

* grocery shopping! at 7:40am. let me tell you, a grocery store at 7:40am on a sunday is a really nice place to be.

* cleaning! my whole apartment. i had to stretch this out over many hours because it's very warm and humid, and everything makes me break out in a sweat. plus, my vacuum overheats at the best of times, which means i have to give it a break between rugs in this kind of weather.

* researching! sigmoidoscopies. read horror stories online. good times.

* ordering! another pair of merrells (the ones you see pictured above). i decided to get another pair in a slightly different style. i'd tried these exact ones on when YB and i were in buffalo, but opted for the lower-priced bare access arc 2s instead... even though i loved both. so, with the residual amount left on my MEC gift card and free shipping, i wound up with a (slight) deal. and this means i can rotate between the two pairs.

* watching! Paradise Road, a film i haven't seen in years and years. i'd forgotten how difficult it is to watch, but nonetheless love all the wonderful performances.

* transcribing! an interview from last week. thankfully, today's constant rain meant it didn't get too sweltering in my place, so i could work at home instead of having to head to the office.

* writing! the article for which the above interview was transcribed. i could have left it until tomorrow, but i know tomorrow will bring with it heaps of other work. and meetings. many many meetings.

* watching! You've Got Mail. i love that movie. and it's much more pleasant to watch than Paradise Road.

* finding! two frozen veggie patties in my freezer! i thought i'd eaten the last one a couple of months ago, and was trying to find something to have for dinner... and there they were.

* waiting! for tonight's viewing to get underway: Big Brother and Next Food Network Star. then, in bed by 10:30pm. they're shutting off the water in my building again tomorrow, so i'll be getting up and leaving early.

five updates

1. i suspect that, within the next month or two, i will be asked to become editor-in-chief of the website. the current editor will be starting a new project (same department, new magazine) before the end of the summer, and my boss has already made passing comments indicating this may be the direction we're headed. i don't know how i feel about this. on the one hand, it would be a big, fat jump in my fee (at least $10/hour more than i'm making right now, which is $7.50/hour more than i was making two months ago). but, on the other hand, i don't want to be editor-in-chief of this website. i don't like this website. i don't want to have to worry about budgets and expenses and having direct reports.

2. further to the above, we've just found out that, starting in september, we'll have to produce 60 stories a month. right now, we're producing 50, and that's nearly killing me. i think 60 might do me in.

3. i have decided to have the sigmoidoscopy. i went back to dr. textbook today and we talked about it. or, more to the point, i explained all the reasons i wanted to "wait and see," and she explained all the reasons that it would be a bad idea to do so. on the upside, all the back-and-forthing made me think out loud, and hearing myself say, repeatedly, "it's all in my head, i know it's all in my head," helped me realize how much i'd been letting my anxiety make medical decisions for me. and i don't want to be one of those people who's afraid of a test and winds up being diagnosed with a disease that could have been caught much earlier had the test been done. so, on monday (because dr. textbook said i should try to relax on the weekend and reevaluate), i'll be calling her office to request a referral to a clinic around the corner from my apartment.

4. this afternoon, one of the art directors and i went to a photo shoot for one of the stories running on the website. it was with a comedian. because he was so animated and "on," the shoot took exactly six minutes. the photographer was stunned (delighted, but stunned). the photographer also had a spread of amazing baked goods from a gluten-free bakery nearby. i had two fantastic brownies, and really wanted to pack up some more to bring home.

5. tomorrow, i'm going out shopping with mom. i need one day when i don't do a speck of work. by contrast, on sunday, i'll likely be going in to the office to try to get ahead for monday. it's supposed to be sweltering in toronto that day, so i'll be glad to be in the A/C.

five reasons i could have snapped today

1. the colleague who's supposed to be "helping" with the editing is consistently dropping the ball. he "edits" copy and then sends it to me, and it's got errors. typos. missing words. formatting inconsistencies (5mm vs. 5 mm vs. 5 millimetres) between stories. and bad writing that he's inserted into  otherwise perfectly fine writing. i sent him three emails over the past two days, repeatedly reminding him to consult our Style Guide (which he helped write!) and to read over his edits before he sends them to me. after the third one, and after i did reparative surgery on a particularly sloppy story he'd "edited" and sent over, i went to my boss and told him i don't think my colleague really needs to be "helping" any longer.

2. last friday, the client sent an email to two of my colleagues and me, asking if we could prepare a list of articles for her. i immediately emailed my two colleagues (neither of whom report to me) and said, "hey guys, which one of us is going to handle this? i don't want it to fall through the cracks." i then directly addressed colleague #2 in the email saying, "is this something you could pull together?" *crickets* neither one of them replied, and i was fed up with babysitting. this morning, the client sent us all another email, saying that she'd asked for the info, no one had provided it, so she did it herself. WTF?! i immediately replied and apologized, and said it wouldn't happen again... then emailed my two colleagues and said, "THIS is why i emailed you guys on friday! i know people are busy, but this makes us looks bad." again, no reply from anyone. so, i told my boss, who was NOT happy. he asked me to forward him the emails i sent, and said he'd take up with the appropriate parties, since babysitting them was not my job.

3. without asking me, the client volunteered me for a phone call with some fancy-pants big-wig, to get information that she (the client) was supposed to have provided me. i didn't have time for the phone call and, again, this sort of thing isn't my job, it's HERS. thankfully, my boss took my side, said, "no way should you have to do that!" i sent the client a fairly stern email saying i wasn't available. and then i stomped around for a good 10 minutes because i was so infuriated by her presumption. she's not my boss! i don't work for her!

4. with copy due tomorrow, the client asked for a new story. today. that would have to be assigned and written and edited.

5. because of items 1 through 4, i didn't actually have time to write the story *i* needed to write today, but i refuse to do it tonight at home.

happy feet

OMG, i'm in love with my new shoes.

when YB and i went to buffalo last weekend, i bought myself a pair of merrell bare access arc 2 shoes. for years, i'd scoffed at the minimalist-shoe movement, believing there was no possible way something with little to no cushioning could be comfortable, let alone preferable.

yet, when mom and i were in florida back in may, i saw a men's pair of minimalist merrells at burlington coat factory. the colours were meh, but the price was right -- $30! -- so i tried 'em on. they felt remarkably good. like, really really good. but they weren't "me," colour-wise, and the fit (while very good) was just a tiny bit off. likely because the heel cup of men's shoes is often broader than in women's shoes. so i passed. but those shoes never left my mind, and not just because of their ridiculously cheap price tag. by comparison, those shoes start around $100 here in toronto.

so, when trix and i were on our day-long shopping outing, we looked for those shoes. but no one had any. no one, that is, until we went to one of my favourite stores: eastern mountain sports. [for canadians, it's very much like MEC, only without the membership.] i've always been happy with stuff i've bought there, and have always found their staff to be super-knowledgable.

it came as little surprise, therefore, that a really helpful, enthusiastic young guy bounded over to me when he saw me browsing the minimalist merrells. i'd picked up a particularly pretty pair of green-and-blue shoes and he said, "ah, you've got one of the best shoes we sell in your hand right now!"

with his help and guidance (and personal anecdotes he shared as a hardcore minimalist enthusiast), i tried on various styles and colours, eventually deciding on the ones you see pictured above. he explained that this particular style is ideal for long stretches of city walking because its sole contains slightly softer rubber than its barefoot-running brethren in the "road glove" line of merrells. though they weren't my preferred colour (the green-blue ones were out of stock in my size), the longer i had these shoes on in the store, the more they felt like mine.

and, a few minutes later, they were.

and i love them.

i want to marry them.

they are AMAZING. even though they weren't $30, they also weren't $110 (the price here). and ther are worth every penny! they fit immediately, without any breaking-in. they cup my foot and offer remarkable support. i have worn them to work, had them on all day and they were ridiculously comfortable. my feet didn't hurt or ache when i took them off. yesterday, i wore them on a power walk for the first time -- an hour of up-and-down-hills walking. and they performed beautifully!

honestly, i want to toss every pair of keens i own and buy these in every colour of the rainbow. in fact, i just may.

they're that great.