smears of a clown

two days. two different meals with two different sets of friends. one dog with a very wet beard. welcome to my long weekend. (plus: lining up for my TIFF tickets today, which you can read about in its entirety over at the moviepie blog.)

saturday
errand-running in the morning before meeting up with my friends chris and laurie, and their schnauzer (cooper), for an afternoon strolling in the beaches. or “the beach,” depending on your preference. cooper is very cute, if rather neurotic, and as we walked she made repeated attempts to wipe her nose and her face on my pants. i have no idea why. but it was her goal to smear my pants...probably because she could sense they’d been freshly washed and were in dire need of some dirt and spittle.

we stopped for an early dinner at a pub whose name escapes me at the moment. i know it had “lion” in its name, and it was on queen st. east. i had the world’s biggest hamburger (seriously, it was gigantic and i only managed to get down half of it), and we all dodged wasps. i should point out that we ate outside, lest you think the interior of the pub was somehow inundated with stripey yellow fiends. (those of you who know me well know about my bee anxiety and my feelings on outdoor dining when they’re around in abundance, so i know you know i just wished i’d been surrounded by a mosquito net.) cooper enjoyed the complimentary bowl of water that the staff had placed on the sidewalk and, of course, then tried repeatedly to dry her face off on me.

ice cream at ed’s was next. delicious and cheap, considering its homemadeness and the size of the scoops. a kiddie cone (mint chip) was plenty for me. cooper took a break from pursuing my pants to “share” laurie’s crème brulée-flavoured scoop, using her own designated spoon. things came to an abrupt halt when laurie realized she’d lost track of which spoon was hers and which one had been used by the dog. hilarity ensued.

hilarious on a whole different level? our post-meal driving tour of nothing. chris and laurie are often very kind and drive me home from wherever we’ve been, but they’re also known for kidnapping me and driving me around to show me oddities within our fair city. unfortunately, our last such outing resulted in exactly nothing, when they were unable to remember the exact location of the house they wanted to show me. saturday, there was a storefront that they were SURE i would find hysterical and shocking and wonderful...if only they could remember where it was. after driving up and down several downtown streets, there it was!

“that’s IT?” i said from the back seat.

sadly, it was neither hysterical, shocking nor wonderful, and my disappointment was apparent. it was a bit of a letdown. but chris and laurie thought the whole adventure was HI-larious and, through their peals of laughter at our anti-climactic destination said, “YOU’RE GOING TO PUT THIS ON YOUR BLOG, AREN’T YOU?!”

yep.

sunday
more errand-running in the morning and then a BBQ lunch at paul and angela’s. paul and angela are an interesting couple: i’ve known paul for 12 years, and angela for 10...yet they somehow managed to keep the fact that they were a couple SECRET (from me and everybody else) for SEVEN YEARS. seven years! anyway, now they’re “out” and sharing a home and living happily ever after. they do not, however, have a dog that likes to wipe its nose on clothing. but they do have delinquents in the neighbourhood...some of whom caused both paul and angela to race outside and run down the street shouting in the middle of our afternoon together. having come from hell house, with its collection of violent miscreants and ex-cons, i was totally desensitized to something as comparatively benign as preteens smashing bottles, so i happily carried on with my dessert while they chased the young ne’er-do-wells.

lunch was an assortment of grilled items – hamburgers, turkey burgers, peppers, onions – along with seasoned oven fries and a delightful array of desserts. i was sorry i didn’t bring my camera, because the confections were quite pretty. yet again, we dined outside and, yet again, we were inundated by wasps. seriously, people, dodging wasps does not make for a relaxing meal. it was all i could do not to take my plate and go sit inside their screened living room to finish my burger.

then we loafed around their house for several hours, doing nothing and trying not to fall asleep in that sunday-afternoon post-meal haze. they drove me home, too, but didn’t make me look at weird buildings.

what did you do on your long weekend?

flight of the butterfly

today i saw a metaphor.

and i saw it while i was waiting to cross the street.

i was standing at the intersection of st. clair and avenue road around 2:30 this afternoon. it was gorgeous in toronto today: mostly sunny, breezy, dry, mid-70s. and, as i stood there waiting for the traffic signals to change in my favour, i saw the metaphor.

i looked up and noticed that a monarch butterfly was making its way diagonally through the busy intersection, about twelve feet above the ground, but low enough that its fragile little body was being tossed around in mid-air by the wind present in the atmosphere combined with the air turbulence caused by all the traffic whirring past.

but that little butterfly kept right on going.

it was pushed to the left, and then swung back to the right. it would get caught in an updraft and instantly be sucked a few feet heavenward, only to fly right into a downdraft and be yanked back down to Earth just a few precarious inches from a passing truck. undeterred, the butterfly kept right on going.

as i watched this determined little butterfly proceed on its singular mission despite the absolute aeronautical mayhem happening all around it, i thought of myself, and how – very much unlike the butterfly – i so often find myself completely knocked off course and veering all over the map instead of continuing onward to my original destination. even if i try to keep my distance from the fray, "flying" above the chaos, it still affects me. when i get knocked to the right, i stop. or i start heading to the right because i figure that’s obviously where i’m supposed to go, initial plans be damned. or i turn around, flustered, and go back to square one to try to figure out a better way to get back to the left again. if i’m caught in a sudden updraft, i ride it wherever it takes me but always come crashing down when i least expect it.

now, i weigh considerably more than a butterfly, and the winds blowing through my life aren’t of the same strength (relatively speaking) as those tossing my winged little pal about, yet i wind up sidelined while the butterfly bounces on its merry way. and, more often than not, i don't even have a destination in mind. i'm not usually on a mission like that butterfly was; i'm coasting, or surfing, or just meandering aimlessly looking for a destination.

how does the butterfly do it? is that focus or determination or dedication or mindless pursuit of nectar regardless of the world’s winds inherent in its nature? is it the product of millennia of evolution, or lack thereof? or is it not a matter of how, but why?

i dunno, but i wish i had a little more of whatever that butterfly’s got going on.

hey buddy, can you spare a...buddy?

my writing occasionally results in delightful perks, like movie passes or invitations to film- or television-related events. often, but not always, these things mean i can bring my friends along. but sometimes, Freebie Fatigue™ can set in among those friends, and an invitation for me “plus one” becomes more of a challenge than it really should be.

earlier tonight was one such example: i went to another taping of a Live at the Rehearsal Hall show. tonight’s featured artist was rufus wainwright, a singer-songwriter-musician about whom i knew precious little, music-wise, and whom i wasn’t particularly excited to see. not because i thought he’d be bad or boring, just because i didn’t know him. the only song of his that i knew was his version of leonard cohen’s Hallelujah. and i’ve seen him interviewed on TV a number of times but, beyond that, i knew zip.

when i received the invite, i immediately RSVPed for two, figuring that i’d have no trouble finding accompaniment. heather is my go-to “plus one” for events like this; she’s been several times, all my chum/city pals know her, we all have fun. but she couldn’t make it this time, so i was faced with calling upon an alternate.

to say that it was difficult is an understatement. i contacted almost every person i know, including people i haven’t spoken to in years!, and EVERYONE was busy or out of town or both. i was getting more and more desperate with each passing rejection. surely, somewhere, someone would want to go and actually be able to attend...right?

wrong.

i actually started to consider taking a total stranger before i eventually emailed my friend laura (at the station) to break the news that i’d be coming solo. and then it turned out that not only would heather not be there, but a couple of the LATRH regulars would also be absent. i started to wonder if i should even go. maybe i should just stay home and watch Big Brother and eat ice cream instead. and before anyone chastises me for daring to consider bailing just because i’d be alone: i go to plenty of things by myself, so that’s totally not a problem. but events like this are always more fun if you’re sharing it with someone, so i wasn’t feeling enthused about being a party of one.

but laura very kindly offered me a loaner for the night: her pal, carolyn, who would also be attending solo (though, in her case, it’s because she was told to do so, not because she’s a big loser like me who couldn’t find a “date” for a free concert from a famous singer ;-)). “you can sit together,” laura said. that sounded fine to me.

thankfully, carolyn – a rufus superfan – and i hit it off. halfway through the evening i said to her, “imagine how awkward this would have been if we didn’t get along.” because we spent a good hour and a half together, sans laura the buffer for the most part, before the show even started. then another hour and eighteen minutes (exactly) during the show. that would have been a paaaaaaaainfully long time if we’d each found the other entirely repellent. instead, we had a blast and took photos of ourselves with laura’s camera to keep ourselves entertained while we waited for the gig to get underway. (i’m sure they will wind up online at some point. wait. that sounds salacious. i mean on facebook, because they’re silly!)

the show itself was very good, and i enjoyed rufus’ music quite a bit. occasionally, the guitar levels were so high that i couldn’t understand (or hear) a single thing rufus was singing, so that was kind of frustrating, but i dug his sound and found his songs unexpectedly poignant. (the show airs on october 2nd on bravo! in case anyone wants to check it out.) my ass started to hurt about 40 minutes in – the plastic chairs they use to seat the audience are really, really uncomfortable – but no complaints otherwise. it turned out to be a lovely night!

the moral of this story: if your own friends aren’t around, sometimes someone else’s spare works just as well.

hairapy

okay, so i had a small moment of panic a few minutes ago.

as some of you may recall, last year around this time i made my first-ever visit to an aveda institute for what proved to be one of the best haircuts i've ever received...not to mention the absolute cheapest. it happened on the day of the festival schmooze party and, thankfully, went extremely well. that haircut lasted me right through the winter -- it grew out beautifully.



i went back to aveda in the spring for another cut, but the skilled young woman who chopped my locks months earlier had long since graduated and moved on. alas.

anyway, boring story short: one look at my profile photo to the left and you'll see that i've been needing a haircut for a while now. i rationalize my shearing-free summer thusly: it's so hot that i spend most of june through september with my hair tied back, so why bother cutting it if i'm just going to hide it anyway? plus, i figured i'd "save" my next big haircut for pre-festival time, just in case i find myself invited to a party or heading to an important screening where i want to look my best. both times i booked at aveda, i was able to make an appointment for the next day or soon after.

so imagine my horror when i called today and was told they are fully booked THROUGH THE END OF SEPTEMBER.

wait. what?

that doesn't work for me. by the end of september, the festival will long be over and i will have horrified many with my unruly mane. i can't wear that fun, stripey touque when it's 28ºC outside! and i certainly can't don that chapeau to walk through the doors at the schmooze (if i go) or any halfway notable screening. hello? my hair needs tending to before september 6th.

i immediately began trying to come up with alternatives. should i go back to the woman who used to cut my hair near my old place? the one who gave me EXACTLY the same haircut everytime i went in, no matter what i asked her to do? the one who routinely made me wait for more than a half-hour before starting and then repeatedly tried to convince me to buy expensive products? no. don't want to go back to her. should i try coupe bizarre? the salon that young beatrix swears by, even though they charge quite a bit more than the (admittedly super-cheap) aveda folks? *sigh*

then it hit me: what about the aveda academy?! housed in the same building, the academy is like grad school for the stylists. they've all graduated from the institute and are learning all sorts of new, fancier skills! the price is still cheap, considering. $30! so i rang them up. the extremely helpful woman on the other end began scouring their bookings for an opening.

"we don't have anything this week," she began. "and we don't have anything next week, either. sorry."

drat!

"we do have a haircut appointment available at the institute next friday at 10am, though."

PARDON?! (i actually said that. excitedly. and i think with as much emphasis as the caps and punctuation indicate.)

"but i just called the institute and they said they didn't have anything until the end of next month!"

"well, they obviously didn't double-check. is that appointment okay for you? do you mind having it done at the institute?"

hell no! it's perfect! i thanked her profusely. i mean, what she gave me as a "consolation" booking is, in fact, what i'd wanted all this time in the first place. hooray!

only nine more days of mane management before it's clipped and made pretty again. *sigh*

programming note: the TIFF 2007 blog is up...

still in an embryonic state, given the date, but the annual moviepie TIFF diary is now up and running in case you want to bookmark it for later use. enjoy!

a blogtastic Q&A with...me?

so, there's apparently a blog-to-blog activity out there that involves one blogger interviewing another, and my friend chantel recently played...so i'm playing, too. there are official rules and they are as follows:

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

so, there are the rules, and here's my invitation: if you'd like to participate, leave me a comment saying "interview me" and we'll get going! in the meantime, here are my responses to chantel's five (or so ;-)) questions:

1. If you could star on any TV show, what show would it be, and would you replace an existing character (which one) or be a brand new character?
oh, what kind of question is that for a TV junkie? so many options! let’s see...i would have loved to be on Felicity or Once & Again back in the day. OMG, no, scratch that. American Dreams...that would have been heavenly. i would never dream of replacing an existing actor, because that’s a sure-fire way to draw unwarranted criticism, but i’m not sure what kind of new character i could have been. perhaps a new friend for felicity on her show, or a fellow patient and new best friend for karen on Once & Again, or roxanne’s strait-laced cousin on AD. as for current shows...maybe one that’s guest-star friendly, like Heroes where, of course, i’d want to be a villain with a cool (but ultimately inadequate) superpower. or perhaps a defendant on Boston Legal. or a day player on the now-defunct Studio 60. just being able to rattle off aaron sorkin’s dialogue would have been a treat.

2. How many movies do you see a year (or a month)? What's your favourite movie and what's the one movie you're always recommending (that people often haven't seen or heard of)?
it depends on the time of year. in summer, i have screenings coming out of my ears. ditto film-festival time, where the weekly average pre-fest is three-to-seven, and three-to-five each day of the fest. then virtually nothing between february and april, where the cinematic landscape is filled with gems like Are We Done Yet? and Norbit. i’d say i probably see upwards of 120? 130? movies a year, on average. at the theatre, that is; many more if we include DVDs. i can honestly say i don’t have a favourite movie, though there are the ones that i love and watch repeatedly...ones that aren’t necessarily great films, but ones that i love nonetheless. like Serendipity. or The Abyss. or Rudy. as for which obscure film i recommend as often as possible, i’m sure everyone reading this right now is screaming at their screens: "Imagine Me & You!" i swear i should have received kickbacks from the studio for the number of people i’ve forced into watching that movie.

3. What's the one thing that's surprised you (good or bad) about your life so far? The one thing that hasn't?
hmmm. that’s kind of a tough one. i think my london trip last year was the biggest good surprise – that i’d actually leap out of my comfort zone and do that, on the spur of the moment and totally alone. as anyone who knows me will attest, i am a hardcore overthinker and meticulous planner. i love being prepared and ready and will always take my time. so this was WAY out of character for me. it was overwhelming at first, but it turned out to be a fantastic experience and one i’m SO grateful i decided to just do. similarly, i’m surprised (in a really good way) at how many great friends i’ve made via the internet – people i never would have met otherwise, many of whom i now consider some of my closest friends. we may be separated by distance and only able to see each other every couple of years, but what we may lack in quantity of face time we make up for in quality. at the other end of the spectrum, sort of, i’m a little surprised that i am where i am at the moment. growing up, i could never really imagine my life in my 30s. it just seemed so intangible and imaginary. and now that i’m here, i kind of feel like i’m still in my 20s. still learning (a lot). still uncertain. still a little untethered. i kind of thought i’d be tethered, actually. personally and professionally. more settled. more certain about life and love and work and all that. but no. so the feeling of still being kind of adrift in my mid-30s is a little surprising and unexpected. not tragic, just odd. and what hasn’t surprised me? that i’m still writing. still loving movies and TV.

4. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? What's stopping you from moving there right now?
i assume this is a geographical question and not an accommodation question (i.e., house vs. condo vs. apartment). i’m actually very happy in toronto. if i had to move somewhere in the states, it would be chicago. hands down. no question. i adore everything about that city. oooh, or seattle, because i have a whole gaggle of great friends there and the city’s vibe matches me perfectly. (not to mention my rat city rollergirls!) i also don’t mind rain or overcast weather, so i’d likely save a bundle on sunscreen. if i had to move off the continent, i’d probably head somewhere in the UK. in terms of what’s stopping me, well...my own contentment for starters. money would be another. work – though, i suppose i could freelance anywhere – would be the third. and, of course, immigration laws.

5. Best thing about living in your new place? Worst? Favourite appliance?
given where i used to live, everything is great. the walls and floors are concrete, so my apartment has minimal neighbour noise (a stark constrast to the mayhem of Hell House). my neighbours here, thus far, all seem to be sane and quiet and, from what i can tell, are not recently paroled or currently on medication for psychosis or otherwise engaged in illegal activities. the police haven’t been called once. the location kicks ass – an affordable place in one of the richest parts of the city. so the neighbouring houses are all huge and gorgeous, and the tree-lined streets are wonderful for walking. i’m also within walking distance (20 min.) of downtown, and equidistant (less than a 10-minute walk) from two subway lines. i used to live off the danforth, which was always loud and busy; now, i’m still on a major thoroughfare, but – save for car traffic during the day – it’s very quiet and surprisingly calm. the worst thing would probably be the fact that i can’t control the heat in my apartment, so it’s quite warm in winter. and the electrical is way outdated – two 15 amp fuses for the ENTIRE apartment, and no outlet at all in or near the bathroom. but those are two minor things in an overall rosy picture. my favourite appliance is easy: my blender. good lord, i think i’ve used it just about every day between april and october for the three years i’ve had it. i ROCK at smoothies.

(btw, lest there be any confusion: you're allowed to add comments even if you don't want to be interviewed! ;-))

oh, and in case anyone was curious...

the grim reaper.

mental health days: it's okay to do nothing!

ever have one of those days?

ever have a string of them?

ever have a subsequent need to just escape for a while? take a break? do something fun or frivolous or interesting or different or cool? or do nothing at all?

enter “mental health days.” i started calling them that back in university when, on occasion, i just wanted a day off. not because i was sick or had a dentist appointment or needed to stay home while the plumber fixed the drain. just because i knew my brain needed a breather.

this practice continued through my working life. thankfully, due to allotted sick days in the corporate world, these sporadic mental-health breaks were fully paid. i could call in “sick” and just take a day to do whatever i felt like doing. see a movie. see lots of movies. go shopping. go on an urban hike. sleep in. meet a friend for lunch and linger for more than an hour. whatever.

mental health days are, in a word, AWESOME. i cannot recommend them highly enough. they give you time to let your brain unwind. to reward it with a little freedom. to let it breathe. to give it a rest from the stresses and demands and trials and troubles and pains and difficulties of your life, in whatever area they exist, even if only for a day. mental health days are something you owe yourself on as regular a basis as possible.

i know that, for some people, the notion of taking a day for oneself is simply insane. “what?! i couldn’t possibly do that! i have way too much stuff to do! just LOOK at my to-do list! look at all the things i need to get done!”

know what? they can wait a day. the world will not end and humanity will not come screeching to a halt if you decide to spend a couple of hours at an art gallery browsing through paintings.

today, i had an impromptu mental health day. since i freelance, i can pretty much take one whenever i damn well please...and often do. it’s remarkably easy, in fact, since i am my own very understanding and supportive boss. so, after having several good/bad/good/bad days in a row this week (culminating in someone accidentally breaking my favourite watch last night), i decided to scrap my press screenings today and spend the day out shopping with mom.

she’d called me last night to see what my plans were for today, and i could tell from the way she asked that she hoped my answer would be “nothing.” she floated the idea of heading north of toronto (to newmarket, for those of you in the province ;-)) to just sort of...meander. drift through stores and malls and stop somewhere for lunch. and, even though we’ve done this countless times before, it sounded like a perfect way to spend a friday. just away from stuff and things and the building pre-TIFF madness. so i said, “sure!”

after an early morning visit to my chiropractor (who rocks), i took the subway north to meet her and we took a scenic, hour-long drive through the country to get where we were going. very few cars on the tree-lined, sun-speckled roads; farmland and horses and fields of corn or soy or the crop of your choice swaying in the wind. gorgeous. peaceful. relaxing. (before you ask, i totally forgot my camera at home...so, no photos. alas.)

we ran errands to costco and wal-mart and zellers, had a filling lunch at swiss chalet (to any canucks who just scoffed i say: it’s a national treasure! ;-)) and then roamed upper canada mall for a while. we picked up pastries at cob’s bakery before driving home to my parents’ house. then, before driving me home, mom took me grocery shopping so i could stock up on all the heavy items (because i had a ride!): milk, pop, juice, sauce.

and now i’m home, with a stocked fridge and full cupboards and a big smile.

that was a good mental health day.

what about you? what’s your idea of a perfect mental health day? what would you do? where would you go?

[and if any of you (in toronto) are just craaaaaving a mental health day but need someone to help you do it, just say the word. i am an EXPERT. ;-)]

holy frakkin' photo woes

nevermind. it's been fixed. all it took was some web-based image hosting. but i'm leaving the remainder of the post up, just because.

as you'll note by looking to the left, i'm having some problems with my profile photo. (to the right is what it's *supposed* to look like.)

i wanted to change it earlier today, so i deleted the pic that was there and replaced it (not with the one that's there now, either). but when i uploaded the pic, it was all distorted. huh?

so i played with the photo's settings (adjusting resolution in the hopes that diminished file size would help) and cropped accordingly...still no dice.

then i thought, forget it...i'll just put the old picture back.

but lo! blogger had other ideas. i tried to put the old pic back and it, too, was now all compressed and weird. WTF?

i have no idea what's happening or why. but i thought i'd mention it in case anyone was wondering where the impish vickie went and why she was replaced with someone my friend chantel likens to "the grim reaper."

addendum: okay, so the grim reaper is now gone. she's been replaced with an overly cropped shot of me. apparently, as of mid-august, blogger has been experiencing problems with the uploading and placement of rectangular photos. anything that isn't square is compressed to *be* square, resulting in distortion. so, for now, i'm square. perhaps you'll see the rest of me sometime down the road.

early morning movies + trailer park

today marked my first official pre-TIFF screening of the year.

screenings actually began last week, but today was the first one i attended for TIFF 2007, and there’s at least one a day (for me; many more for members of the accredited media) every day for, like, the next two and a half weeks. some of them are films i don’t really have much interest in seeing, and i’ll therefore be skipping them. others i’m moderately interested in seeing and i'll attend their screenings if my “schedule” (i.e., do i feel like going? is it raining out? do i need to go grocery shopping instead?) permits. so far, none of the scheduled films are ones i’m chomping at the bit to see...and, even if they were, i don’t know that i’d sacrifice the experience of seeing that film(s) with a fest audience for the sake of seeing it two weeks early.

around this time of year, plenty of film critics start moaning about the festival, and how much of a chore it is, and how they’re so sick of screening films and would rather be watching paint dry than watching a movie. but i can’t get into that headspace. i mean, sure, if you see a bunch of crappy films back to back and then have to review them, it can become tedious...but there are far worse ways to make a living, and tons of people would kill to have a job where you just watch movies and then write things. so, even if i seem a little blasé about the privilege of press screenings, know that i’m endlessly grateful for my slot on any press list.

anyway, now that the pre-TIFF momentum has begun in a big way – the full list of titles for the 2007 fest will be released tomorrow, and the official program/schedule a week after that – i’ve been reflecting on last year’s festival. some of the movies i loved vanished into obscurity, and others have been released or will be released soon.

but these two were my absolute favourites, and i think they demonstrate wonderfully the vast assortment of films you can find at TIFF, as well as the fact that even the same theme (in this case, children struggling to belong) can result in such widely varying content. so, as we await this year’s crop of films, i give you:

This Is England

and

Summercamp!

enjoy!

~*~ happy birthday, young beatrix! ~*~

today is young beatrix’s birthday.

since she’s a working girl and since i was over at my parents house yesterday, we had her big celebration a day early. (actually, young beatrix is now on day four of birthday celebrating, having begun on friday morning already.)

there were gifts and dinner and, of course, a CAKE...made by mom and me, and decorated (however sparsely) by yours truly. it was a devil’s food cake with marshmallow-vanilla icing. i have three big pieces in my fridge as i type this. soon to be two slices.

once trixie uploads the cake pic...and perhaps the shot of my mom, face covered in marshmallow fluff...i’ll add it/them.

in the meantime, here’s young beatrix doing her best barker’s beauties pose.

right now, i ♥ deven green

some of you may remember my love for the now-classic video, brenda dickson's welcome to my home, which made waves back in january of this year.

as brilliant as that unearthed relic was, this parody makes me cry laughing. OMG, it's fantastic. FANTASTIC. you don't even have to watch the original to enjoy the "re-imagined" version. i dare you not to laugh out loud.

for an added bonus, here's part two.

sweet mother of all that is holy, i love these videos. and deven green is the gifted performer responsible. at this moment, i am profoundly in love with her...you know, whoever she is.

framed!

it was tough to shoot this poster because of the glare from the frame,
but here it is, in all its splendor!
it's now hanging in my red-and-white bathroom, and it matches perfectly.

not so fan-tastic

my hydro bill arrived today. it covers the past 61 days, from may 23rd to july 23rd. and it was for $50.03.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

how is this possible?! i never had a hydro bill over $50 the entire time i lived in my previous apartment, where i had ceiling fans running all summer and every single appliance plugged in. what happened to my spiffy, new green-ified apartment and my miraculously low hydro bill of two months ago? nothing has changed in my apartment since may 23rd...except for the arrival of that pretty green standing fan**.

could that be the source of my exceptionally high kW/h reading? i mean, i went from a measly 48 kW on my last bill to 222 (?!) kW this time around! could that jump be from simply using the standing fan??? and not even using it non-stop, but using it in two-hour shifts with an hour break in between, and not every single day but only on the scorchers???? i mean, i didn't even get the fan until mid-june, so could it be that much of a power drain that it burned up such a huge amount of wattage in only one month???

dear lord, is my pretty green fan THE LEAST GREEN THING IN THIS WHOLE APARTMENT?!

or is something else going on? is someone else somehow siphoning my electricity to run their air conditioner? and, if someone were doing that, how would i know???

granted, the increased kW usage automatically upped my delivery fee by $5, and sundry fees another $2...so that adds $7 to the bill right there. but this seems very, very strange. especially considering this isn't an air conditioner we're talking about. just a fan.

any ideas anyone?

[** the fan runs on a 96-watt motor, and would maybe run for eight hours a day, if that helps anyone.]

if it's monday, this must be random

the view this morning.

* the hot weather has, at last, broken. as i type this, my drapes are billowing in the cool wind that’s blowing from the north through my open windows. cool, dry wind that will sink the overnight temperatures below 60F for the first time in weeks. wind that’s already blown the hot, humid air out of my apartment. blissssssssful. i might even get to wear socks and shoes tomorrow; a sweater if i decide to go out for an early morning walk.

* why is On the Lot still on?

* i haven’t been sleeping lately. partly due to the weather, but largely due to an active mind that will not stop racing. i had the same sort of thing happen almost two years ago, right when my major screenwriting surge kicked in and i was full-on embracing the “live outside the comfort zone” mantra. i’ve been having those same “something’s brewing” feelings of late...professionally, personally, creatively, whatever. so i’ve been spending a lot of time revisiting that period of two years ago...reflecting on the steps i took and how i took them, remembering the trip to london that capped it off, and all points in between.

* tonight is the season finale of Hell’s Kitchen. i don’t really care which chef wins, i just want to see gordon ramsay shouting. and i pray that the source of his rage is, at some point, melissa.

* did i mention the delightfully cool weather? and the glorious breezes? *sigh*

* this week, the pre-TIFF press screenings officially started. there’s one every morning at 10am, every day this week. (actually, there are TONS more than that, but i’ve only been invited to the 10am films.) i didn’t go today, and i’m not going tomorrow, because i think i’ve had my fill of sitting through movies i’m just not interested in seeing (see also: celine dion below). i cannot believe the fest is three weeks away.

* the facebooking continues. so there. and i've been HUGELY successful in luring others onboard: my friend laura has promised to join in a thousand years (yesssss!) and denette has agreed to join up if i can get eight tickets to the SYTYCD show in toronto. speaking of which...

* denette and i are trying to figure out how we can snag tickets to the So You Think You Can Dance show that’s coming to toronto in november. because we’re twelve. (seriously, the thing is almost completely sold out and we’re sad.)

* in related news, the Spice Girls have named toronto as their tour’s “Spice City.” they’re going to be doing an extra-special show here in early 2008, and i could pee i’m that excited. once again, because i am twelve.

* i have a craving for a panera bread co. Bacon Turkey Bravo™ sandwich. unfortunately, since it’s summer and the canadian dollar is kicking ass, line-ups at the border to the U.S. are loooooooooooooooooong, with wait times upwards of an hour BEFORE 8am. several hours, in both directions, once midday hits. so, there won’t be any cross-border shopping, or sandwich eating, anytime soon. instead, i used my oven for the first time in months (because of the cool weather) and had treats from the freezer.

c'est dommage, mais je ne veux pas manquer le fest

so, just now, i got off the phone with one of my editors. he had a very intriguing proposal: did i want to go to las vegas to interview celine dion?

pardon?

as in, a paid trip on sony's dime, to chat with celine about...i dunno, something. the details hadn't yet been figured out, and the trip not exactly confirmed, but -- in his infinite kindness -- he thought of me, since freelancers rarely, if ever, get free trips anywhere, let alone Sin City. but, alas, even as the words were falling from his lips, i knew it wasn't gonna happen. he knew it, too, because halfway through the pitch he realized the proposed interview dates fall smack dab in the middle of TIFF...and he knows i don't miss TIFF for anything. like, ever.

not for vegas.

and not for celine.

foolish? perhaps. but, really, it's not like i have a burning desire to talk to celine, however pleasant she might be. (now, had it been a free trip to L.A. for a tattoo from kat, or a weekend in vancouver to hike with evangeline lilly, or dinner at oprah's, maybe i would have thought twice.) besides, i've already purchased my TIFF tickets, moviepie eric is en route to toronto from L.A. this year, and missing the festival would be blasphemous on so many levels.

à plus tard...

kat's BACK!

L.A. Ink starts tonight at 10pm on TLC!
kat von d returns!

awww, F-WORD!

as in: f**k.

as in: fan.

as in: my f**king fan is a fiasco.

over the past few days, i've noticed a tiny "krink" sound whenever my six-week-old standing fan would oscillate. sort of like the sound you would hear in a trick knee while climbing stairs or a wonky back when bending over to pick up a dropped spoon. the sound, while faint, was enough to make me wonder if my amazing fan was, in fact, not so amazing after all. i mean, i only ever ran it for two or three hours at a time before turning it off when the motor casing became the least bit warm to the touch, so it's not like i was pushing it to its functioning limits.

then, just now and after all of 15 minutes in operation, i heard a loud SNAP/CRACK from somewhere within the fan. three seconds later, the speed of the blades slowed dramatically and adjusting the speed settings did nothing. the jet-engine-like force of the wind was now a mere light breeze. i turned it off, turned it back on (apparently i thought rebooting would work for a fan, but no) and the status remained the same...with the addition of a curious smell that told me instantly to turn it back off.

so, here's the rub: the 30-day in-store warranty ("we'll fix it or replace it!") expired only two weeks ago. the manufacturer's warranty says that, if i want the unit fixed or replaced, i have to ship the whole thing TO CALIFORNIA at my own expense...plus pay for them to ship it back to me. WHAT THE HELL?! the fan was a birthday gift from my parents, so i'm hoping they still have the receipt and that the store will somehow replace this defective unit...but i'm skeptical.

all of this is happening just as we're beginning yet another heat wave in the city. so now, i'm facing 90F...FANLESS.

F**K.

update: okay, so i called my mother and she and i trucked the dead fan back to sears where, much to my amazement and delight, they took it back without incident and gave her a full refund. evidently, they offer a one-year (?!) warranty on the products they sell. who knew? i'd envisioned another horrible customer-service nightmare, but no. unfortunately, given the hot weather we've experienced since june 12th (when the original, now-dead fan was purchased), my pretty, stylish, mint-green, kitchen-aid-like fan is now virtually extinct in the city of toronto. we managed to find one at another sears, but it was the last one in stock and the floor model. they gave it to us for 15% off, and said the warranty was still valid for a year on it, so i'm cautiously optimistic that this one will last longer than six weeks. fingers crossed!

gifts from a broad

let me begin by saying: it's freakin' hot in toronto right now. like, insanely, uncomfortably, grotesquely hot. the kind of hot that makes you feel like you might actually be cooking. the hot that leaves everyone with a sweaty, rosy glow...and not the good kind. the hot that can crush your soul with the sheer force of its oppressiveness.

yet, amid this horrifying heat and humidity, there were some cool "gifts" bestowed upon me. so i'd like to take this opportunity to publicly thank those responsible:

* to linda in seattle i say, "OMG!!!!!!!!" and "THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!" for an exquisite care package from the Rat City Rollergirls, consisting of the world's most perfect bout poster, an official program AND a kick-ass tank from the Derby Liberation Front. the whole thing was perfection. i would have cried, but the heat-induced dehydration makes tears hard to come by.

* to heather in the T-dot, i say, "many thanks for the helping hand!", for she is fully abusing her position of power at a large corporation in order to covertly courier a package for me...thereby saving me some $$. i'm always grateful when someone bends the rules in my honour.

* to my mom, who doesn't read this blog but who always deserves thanks for something wonderful, i say, "ahhhhhhhhhhh..." and "thank you!" for taking me out for the afternoon (i.e., out of my oven of an apartment), taking me shopping, taking me out to lunch and driving me to the subway afterwards. plus, she once again offered to come and get me if the heat becomes too much and i want to sleep in their air-conditioned house.

these nice "presents" made the day much more bearable -- nothing like rollergirls, free mail and strawberry cheesecake to take the edge off heat stroke! :-D now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go search for a silver lining on the weather. (excessive sweating helps rid the body of toxins, right? or something.)

the Big Brother 8 post: thoughts? comments?

are you watching?

are you starting to like jen? (i am.) are you starting to dislike dick? (i REALLY am.) are you wishing dustin would burn that grey V-neck T-shirt? (yes, please.)

discuss.