Hot Rod pass still available!

the double pass for the screening of Hot Rod is once again available.

anybody want it? lemme know!

un petit rant

for a long while, the majority of my writing assignments could be done without actually having to involve other people. film columns and oscar stories and the like just meant i had to do things like watch movies or conduct research before sitting down to write. every now and again, i’d have to interview someone about something, but the someone was usually famous in some way and often had a diligent publicist who ensured that everything went smoothly and on time.

lately, though, all that has changed. i’ve been assigned a number of stories that not only require the involvement of others, but depend upon it. many of you will recall the weeks of frustration that stemmed from my famous-canadians story. many of you will also recall that i vowed never to tackle such a story again, only to turn around and do exactly that.

and, not surprisingly, i once again find myself waiting.

so, while i wait, i thought i’d run through my interview wish list, just in case some prospective subject magically meanders through this blog and takes notes on how not to work my last nerve.

for starters, dear interviewees, please be on time. and by “on time” i mean: if you say you’re going to call me at 1:30 in the afternoon, please call before 2pm. if i tell you i’m going to call you at 1:30 in the afternoon, i do. down to the minute. so is it too much to ask that you at least aim for something within the ballpark of a half-hour of our scheduled appointment? as a corollary, if i say i’m going to call you at a specific time and you agree, could’ja please BE there when your phone rings?

if you’re not going to be on time, please let me know. just shoot me a quick email or get someone to call me. please don’t leave me sitting by my phone indefinitely. i can tell you it’s no fun. at all. as fascinating as you think you are, i’m not that unoccupied that i can afford to sit around for hours on the off chance you might call. similarly, don’t tell me you’ll “try” me tomorrow; trust me, you are TRYING me this very instant, and i won’t want to sit around tomorrow any more than i wanted to do it today.

please don’t tell me you “might” call me “around” X o’clock. pick a time and stick to it.

if you miss interview appointment #1 and then you yourself schedule appointment #2, for the love of all that is good and pure in the world, please keep THAT one. you do realize that my distaste for you grows with each passing minute you don’t call, right? and that the careful, affectionate, sympathetic tone that i might have used to write about you is evaporating faster than sprinkler water on noonday asphalt? suddenly, i don’t care about you or your story or your anecdotes anymore, and i just want to be done with you as soon as humanly possible.

don’t get snippy with me about how busy you are, especially not if you’ve already failed to do any of the above. i don’t care. all i need is a tiny fraction of your time for a story about you, so how about you just throw me a bone and play nicely for all of 10 minutes? is that so hard?

and, when i finally do manage to get you on the phone, please SPEAK. in, like, sentences and stuff. please don’t regurgitate press releases or hand me monosyllabic morsels which serve neither of us. believe me, i can tell when you don’t want to be speaking to me, so at least fake it better or be honest and say so. it’s no picnic on my end, either, and it might be best if we just skip the whole thing if you’re behaving as though i’m about to perform a root canal on you.

right now, i'm looking at my clock and realizing my afternoon interviewee is now more than FOUR HOURS late. WTF?

all i ask is that my interview subjects extend to me the same courtesies i extend to them. is that too much to ask?

"but i ♥ ANDY, not jason bourne!!!"

due to a scheduling conflict, it is with great sadness that i announce i will be unable to attend the screening of the new andy samberg movie, Hot Rod, this wednesday. The Bourne Ultimatum is screening on the same day at the same time, and is the "bigger" movie, so i'm electing to see that (against my better judgment and the pangs of my andy-loving heart).

as such, i have two tix for HR that need a loving home. the screening is wednesday (august 1st) at 7pm at the canada square cinemas. anybody want 'em? if so, let me know by end of day tomorrow (monday).

[note: creepy ticket scammers and random strangers are thanked for their interest but need not apply.]

in the dark

does anyone know what kind of light this is? because i have no idea, but it's one of two that are installed in my bathroom...and this one just blew. they were here when i moved in, but i have never seen one of these before and was kind of hoping they'd last longer than, oh, four months.

i *think* it's a xenon bulb, but i can't find an exact match despite Googling all manner of terms. there's tiny writing on one end that says "made in hungary" (?!), which makes me think i'm going to have quite the search on my hands. i'm going to bring the dead bulb to Home Depot to see if they know what it might be and how i might buy a replacement...if, that is, these are easily found out and about in the city. the fixture it was in is easily 20 years old, and i have to wonder if these little guys are still being manufactured...or if there's a green-friendly alternative (which is doubtful, given the fixture's set-up).

so, if you recognize this little fella (apologies for the blurry pic) or know someone who might, by all means let me know.

[edited to add: further investigation and random Googling reveals that this might, in fact, be a double-ended tubular halogen bulb!]

s'up?

* today, i bought a chair. it is not, sadly, a purple chair because, after three months of searching, i’m settling for a “filler” chair to occupy the empty spot in my living room and to allow for additional seating until such time as the chair of my dreams materializes. instead of purple, this chair is bright lime green. it’s called a “butterfly frame” chair...which is a fancy way of saying “it folds up.” you’ve likely seen them around, and they’re especially popular for university-dorm decorating. the chair, which comes with a fun little ottoman, looks a lot like this (only furrier). extra bonus: it was on sale for 60% off! (i fully admit that the low price was a big selling point.) it’s currently in the trunk of my mother’s car (too big and heavy for me to cart on the subway after today’s shopping trip), and it should be here on sunday. once it’s set up, and once i figure out what to do with the green table currently occupying too much space for no good reason, the apartment will be complete and photos will happen. speaking of which...






* this week, i took many, many photos of random things, including but not limited to, me in the apartment. on wednesday i posted one. here’s another.







* the story on the five award-winning community servicers is going MUCH better than the famous-canadians nightmare. and, yesterday, i landed another beefy writing assignment for TVG, writing up a whole slew of fall-preview material, which is a more-than-welcome return to familiar territory for me. i’m thrilled to be writing about television, i tell ya! and, you know, it’s always nice to have work.

* kyle is sick. :-( he’d been sneezing non-stop last week, so he was hauled to the vet, who seemed to think he’d caught some kind of upper-respiratory virus (perhaps one that floated into my parents’ house through the screen door, because monsieur kyle is a fully indoor cat) and thus prescribed meds. some of the meds made kyle even sicker, so those were halted. we thought all was well, but he’s apparently not eating much today. it may be a residual side effect of his meds, or it may be due to the weather (warm & sticky), or it may be due to my father’s repeated “extra feedings,” which are bound to curb any appetite. regardless, i’m worried about our little fattie...he normally chows DOWN, so for him to pick at his kibbles is odd.

* my TIFF tickets arrived in the mail this week. yay! hard to believe the film fest is just over five weeks away. time RACES by. i’ve been keeping a close eye on the weekly programming announcements but, so far, there are no Absolute Must-See Movies. i am, however, over the moon with excitement that my pal, Moviepie’s eric, will be coming to town for the fest for the first time this september. it promises to be a misadventure-laden few days.

* i remain addicted to facebook. and i’m working to hook as many new users as i can. so far, it seems to be working...a little...mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaa...

that is all.

a teaser

what?

seriously...nobody's interested??

VS.





Toronto Roller Derby
Smoke City Betties vs. Death Track Dolls
Sat. July 28th
George Bell Arena
doors at 7pm, bout at 8pm
$10 (advance) / $15 (door)

really? no takers? at all?

post #100...not that i'm counting

blogged

okay, here it is, my one-hundredth post
that likely won’t be the one talked about most
i’ve been thinking and racking and waiting and stewing
and dreaming up content – it’s all i’ve been doing!

but time’s ticking by as you’ve all made quite clear
so i figured i owed you for your visits here
even though, to be frank, i’ve got nothing to say
so i’ll just ramble on about life here today:

today i had lunch with my friends chris and laurie
we ate at terroni, not much of a story
i laundered my linens and sorted my mail
(if you’re bored you’re forgiven if you want to bail)

i made a few calls to some folks who weren’t there
i facebooked and emailed – oh wait, do you care?
i dropped off a cheque and i thought about dinner
(i warned you that this post would not be a winner)

i researched some subjects and surfed on the ‘net
i facebooked again (and am not quite done yet)
i’m prepping a smoothie and waiting for Friends
Big Brother’s at nine; the Ink boys at ten

after that? one more facebook before i hit bed
and thus ends the day and the thoughts in my head
so, you see, i’ve had nothing about to which to write
just everyday musings that oft seem quite trite

about eating and sleeping, and neighbours who yell
or movies or TV or pub food from hell
about walks that are long, or walls that are fuscia
i give you: my life and all its minutiae.

yepimawriter-the blog © 2007

camera obscura

today i decided to buy a digital camera.

up until now, young beatrix and i have shared her camera, which was purchased many years ago when digital cameras first hit the market. it’s a great little camera, but it only allows for 3.2 megapixels and, being trixie’s, resides at my parents’ house...making spontaneous picture-taking somewhat difficult on this end.

so, i checked out what was on sale, and found a wonderful little canon for $199. 7.1 megapixels, compact, movie mode. cool. that would be my project for the morning: get a camera.

sadly, my plan derailed upon arrival at the store when, as i was about to get the sale rolling, i asked the clerk what kind of memory card the camera takes. i have two compact-flash cards (that i used with YB’s camera), and wanted to make sure i could use those.

“not with this camera,” said the clerk.

“what? really?”

“yup. you must have an old camera, huh?”

“yeah.”

“all the new cameras are really sleek, so they use the SD disks ‘cause those are a lot smaller.”

“oh.” already, i could feel myself leaving the store empty-handed.

“there’s a bunch on the wall if you wanna buy one,” offered the clerk. but the disks at this store were not cheap – not as cheap as they are at, say, costco – so any savings on the camera would be nullified by the extra $$ for the memory card. i opted to wait. i love a good sale, but i need to get *everything* at a good price, not just part of the package. so, i’m going to try again tomorrow, when i head to the ‘burbs for the day and when a field trip to costco will no doubt take place.

and, really, a camera would have come in handy today because my friend valerie and i went for our quarterly, seasonal, epic walk. some of you have heard of these walks before. they last anywhere from four to seven hours and traverse the entire city, always ending in a good, hardy meal somewhere. by the time we finish the walk and the meal, we’re totally spent and, quite often, extremely sore. one such walk several winters ago took place during a snowstorm and lasted six hours....after which, i literally couldn’t walk for several days. when we walk, we WALK. and the walks are always profoundly cathartic and satisfying, as we recount morsels of our lives with every step we take so that five or so months of news is shared bit by bit as we go. we rant, we lament, we reflect, we gossip...it all comes out.

if you're going for an epic walk, you'll find no finer walking shoe than a keen.

so, valerie called val and off we went. we took tree-lined side streets through downtown and wound up at queen’s park, where we planted ourselves on a well-shaded bench and took a mid-walk break. cut to an hour later when we got up and continued. despite plans to dine at a pan-asian restaurant, we found ourselves sidetracked at a pub...where i had the WORST meal ever. first, i ordered the buffalo chicken fingers (because, when one is in a pub one should order pubby fare), but when i placed the order i specifically asked the waitress if these were chicken *fingers* or popcorn chicken. the latter is revolting, and the thought of deep-fried chicken skins in buffalo sauce was even more gross.

“no, they’re not nuggets, they’re, like, chicken STRIPS,” she assured me.

“okay, I’ll have those.”

when she finally brought our food, i looked at my plate and rolled my eyes: fries, some carrot sticks and celery, and a big pile of wet, cold popcorn chicken. WITH BONES!!!! i was like, “what is this? PIGEON?”

valerie and i agreed that the lumpy chunks of “chicken” on my plate were not at all strip-like, so i called the waitress back over.

“i’m really sorry, but i can’t eat these. this is popcorn chicken, not strips. and there are bones sticking out of some of the pieces.”

“oh,” she said, seeming surprised.

she asked what i wanted instead and i made the grave error of ordering their pasta special. first off, it took forever to arrive, so by the time it did valerie was finishing her meal. the “tomato sauce” seemed more like tomato soup, and the “primavera” aspect meant frozen beans, chunks of zucchini and onions...none of which tasted halfway decent. it also had a strange, farty cheese smell to it. it came with two pieces of “garlic bread” – one was untoasted and WET, the other was toasted but didn’t taste at all garlicy. as i forced one forkful after another down, i kept imagining pepto-bismol in my future.

once done, we continued walking. we wanted dessert, but were having a hard time finding any. we eventually wound up at a gelateria, where we had the most WONDERFUL gelato. heavenly.

despite having walked for five hours already, we continued walking towards home. we made it halfway but, when we realized it would take another 45 minutes to walk ALL the way home, we hopped on the subway. and as soon as we sat down we felt the walk.

i’m hoping all that exercise, and all that “fresh” downtown air, will mean i sleep soundly, deeply and well tonight.

(btw, this is post #99 on this blog!)

insomnia

so, it's 12:48am and i can't sleep.

okay, that's not entirely true because i haven't actually climbed into bed to attempt to sleep. but i know that i'm wired and won't sleep if i *do* climb into bed, so i'm trying to figure out a way to unwind and get drowsy. clearly, blog posting and facebooking ain't cuttin' it ce soir.

tappity...tap...tap...tappity...tap...tap...

facebooked

against my better judgment, i signed up with facebook. i'd been warned that it's highly addictive and that you can lose yourself online for hours, tinkering with your profile and searching for random people from kindergarten and checking out how much weight your high-school archnemesis managed to pack on since graduation. and yet i signed up anyway, "just to see." just to see what all the fuss was about. just to see if i could find anyone i knew. just to see if anyone i used to know would try to find me.

know what?

it's crack. pure crack. one taste was all i needed and i was hooked...surfing endlessly, looking for old high-school friends, favourite teachers (yeah, i learned pretty quickly that facebook is the realm of the under-30 set, so my former teachers wouldn't be hanging out there) and estranged relatives (oh, there are many). this is NOT what i needed in order to improve my productivity.

in addition to being dangerously addictive, facebook is an excellent way to cultivate all sorts of new insecurities as an adult. think you're a pretty well-adjusted, well-liked, self-confident, popular gal? think again. in a heartbeat, it's: how does my picture look? what if so-and-so looks me up and is horrified? what if i "poke" someone and they don't poke back? what if someone i don't like wants to be my friend? what if NO ONE wants to be my friend?

it's ridiculous! it's like i've suddenly reverted to the 14-year-old me (i'd hyperlink to the photo on this blog, but you can go ahead and look for it if you want to see it that badly), gangly and nervous and hoping to be liked. i'm astonished at these rarely discussed adverse side effects. what the hell?? where does THAT come from?

facebook.

oh dear. what have i done?

field trip! who wants to come?

VS.





Toronto Roller Derby
Smoke City Betties vs. Death Track Dolls
Sat. July 28th
George Bell Arena
doors at 7pm, bout at 8pm
$10 (advance) / $15 (door)

anybody interested? the more the merrier! so round up your friends, spouses, significant others, long-lost loves and random strangers on the street -- all are welcome!

never say never again

so, remember how i vowed never to agree to another story where i'd have to interview multiple people at the same time for the same thing? well, the very day that i finally finished and submitted the nightmare that was the famous-canadians story, i had the following exchange with one of my editors:

editor: would you like another story?

me: not if it involves interviewing a bunch of famous canadians.

editor: not exactly.

this time around, i only have to interview five people...and i don't have to track anyone down or deal with any publicists. these five have already agreed to be interviewed, so i just have to chat with them and then write about them. and they're not celebrities, they're recipients of some sort of humanitarian award (the name of which i cannot seem to remember).

there you have it.

god bless you, matt

i will not have to see tonight's film alone! thanks for taking one for the team. :-)

as such, the application period is now closed. try again in august, when the rest of 2007's duds are released.

god bless you, TLC

best.

news.

EVER!

Miami Ink's kat von d is getting her own tattoo show! it debuts on august 7th.

in other news, still no date for tomorrow's screening. dammit!

um...i need a date

are you in toronto? do you want to see I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry tomorrow? if so, call me. drop me an email. post a comment saying so. 'cause i have an extra ticket for tomorrow's screening (7pm at the scotiabank-formerly-paramount theatre) and can't seem to find anyone who's available to go. yes, i realize the movie will be low-brow, but it co-stars kevin james (so cute!) and jessica biel (so hot!) and, more importantly, it's free!

this happens every once in a while. i tend to get a lot of screening invites, and it's usually not a problem to find a movie-going pal to come along. but occasionally the planets drift out of alignment and everybody's busy or out of town or just reeeeeally not interested in the film in question. this is just such a time.

and, yes, i could easily go to the screening solo (i often do), but i hate a ticket going to waste and there's NO WAY i'm giving it to any of the ticket scammers waiting like vultures at the box office.

so, if you're up for it and are less than 2000 miles away (apologies to the americans ;-)), let me know!

options for frittering away your life #458: learning a completely useless new skill

¡op uɐɔ ı ʇɐɥʍ ʞool

˙˙˙ʇnq ƃolq sıɥʇ ɟo sɹǝpɐǝɹ ǝɥʇ ɟo uoıʇɔɐɹɟ ɐ oʇ lɐǝddɐ ʎluo ʎlǝʞıl llıʍ sıɥʇ ǝzılɐǝɹ ı

feelin' comfy part deux: the boob tube

have you added your two cents to the discussion of “comfort movies” yet? feel free to scroll down and share yours if you haven’t already.

in the meantime, as promised, we’ll move on to a discussion of “comfort television.” like comfort food and comfort movies, comfort television consists of programming that lulls you into a calm, relaxed, happy state. it could be totally crappy cartoons or heart-wrenching drama or a Top Chef marathon on the food network.

for me, comfort TV includes:

* Friends, the all-time go-to show (preferably episodes from seasons four through ten). no sitcom characters can make me laugh like monica when she’s freaking out or ross when he’s flustered.

* Felicity, with its gorgeous hues (seriously, has brown ever looked so pretty?) and sublime performances. i can watch any episode from any season and just melt into the couch.

* just about any house-flipping show. Flip This House, Flip That House, Property Ladder, Movin’ Up, you name it. i think it has something to do with the before-and-after “makeovers” of the homes. i have no idea.

* Project Runway, when it’s on...which, being in canada, is once a year and long after its run on Bravo! in the U.S. (so we already know who wins by the time the first episode airs here.)

* as mentioned in a previous post, Miami Ink. love it.

* jimmy kimmel’s opening 10-15 minutes. i watch his show every night just as i’m heading to bed, so it’s become something of a televised bedtime story. (i love the show itself, too.)

your turn. what do you watch when you want to unwind? which shows make you feel all giddy?

skater grrrls

tonight, my friend nancy and i attended our very first Toronto Roller Derby bout. now, as many of you know, i fell hard for the sport of roller derby back in october 2005 when i first beheld the splendor and athletic magnificence of the Rat City Rollergirls, the flat-track league in seattle. i still treasure the memories of that wonderful night in my heart...right next to the photo of me with my arm around burnett down. *sigh*

after nearly two derby-free years, i decided it was time to see what toronto’s league had to offer. so, tickets in hand, nancy and i headed to george bell arena – which is located smack dab in the middle of an industrial wasteland in toronto’s west end – to watch the chicks ahoy! take on the bay street bruisers. i’d blathered on about roller derby for so long and to so many people that i don’t think anything the TORD could have rolled out would have met my admittedly lofty expectations, but tonight’s event was still a disappointment.

for starters, it was held at an ice rink (sans the ice, of course), so we had to sit behind the boards and behind glass for the bout. this meant there was a HUGE amount of unused space surrounding the track, and the crowd was wellllll back from the action. bummer. i’d kind of hoped to be closer to the skating, the hits, the women flying out of bounds, the fights. but no.

not that there were any fights or spectacular hits or even really great skating. TORD is in its inaugural year and it shows on the track. while the women can skate, they’re not quite at the level of more seasoned athletes in the sport. the skating was, at times, painfully s-l-o-w (the girls often coasted around the corners instead of skating through them) and any skater-to-skater contact was little more than slightly peeved nudging. save, of course, for the friendly banter and occasional inter-team dancing. WTF? you're not supposed to fraternize during a bout! how can you slam someone into the floor if you've just been bumping and grinding together during a time-out?!

where were the full-strength blows? the skaters being knocked on their asses? where, i asked, was the bloodletting?? (yes, we’re canadians, but come on. derby skaters should be out to play hard!)

the 900-seat arena was maybe half full, which lets some wind out of the sails from the get-go. the crowd, though relatively small, was enthusiastic and a nice demographic mix of young and old, men and women, gay and straight. but i couldn’t help but feel that, with some encouragement from the absentee team mascots/spirit squads, the audience could have ROCKED. sometimes all it takes is a guy in a silly costume racing back and forth each time a jam comes to a halt...perhaps inter-mascot competitions? cheer challenges? funny dancing?

i also arrived at the venue hungry for merch. i wanted some stickers or perhaps a poster...but, unlike the RCRG, nothing was free. whaaa...? in seattle, any visit to the merch table resulted in you being handed stickers for free. i came home with a TON of them, from all the teams and the league itself. but in the T-Dot? not so much. aw, really? man. i know the teams need to make money somehow, but even a gratis temp tattoo would have been a nice touch. alas. on a related note: snacks at the concession stand were blissfully cheap, though, so kudos there!

anyway, we sat and watched and felt decidedly meh about the event. we tried to get into it -- picking out favourite skaters (no one came remotely close to burnett down and her skills), shouting encouragement, lamenting bad jams -- but it felt a bit forced after a while. by the time the bout ended (chicks ahoy! SMOKED the bay street bruisers), we were spent. i suppose, for me, the constant comparison to the RCRG probably worked to the detriment of my own enjoyment. it’s sort of like going to see a major league baseball game, and then attending a little league game and expecting it to be the same. i know TORD is still young and they have some learning (and practicing and training) to do, so i’m happy to give them some time and i’ll go back. tonight’s bout only represented two of the league’s six teams so, perhaps, i’ll check out their next battle on the flat track at the end of the month.

feelin' comfy

we all know about “comfort food.” it’s what you crave on a snowy winter day, or when you’re stuck in bed with a cold, or on those evenings when you get home and immediately flop down onto the couch in an exhausted heap after a truly horrific day (of, say, repeatedly calling rude publicists), or simply when you’re a broad abroad, alone, and want a taste of the familiar.

but where some people have their favourite comfort foods, i have my comfort movies. just as good and familiar as a plate of spaghetti, these are movies i’ve seen dozens and dozens of times, but that i still find myself watching each and every time they’re on TV. movies that aren’t the greatest pieces cinema ever to roll off a studio lot, but ones that, for whatever reason, i’m just glad to have around. they make me feel good. they’re comforting. they’re like cozy celluloid blankets, ready to wrap themselves around me for 120 minutes of warm fuzziness and good cheer whenever i'm feeling beat or blue or germy or pooped.

i bring this up because it’s been a very busy friday – two interviews, dave and all the drilling, lunch out with mom, two hours of top-to-bottom-wall-to-wall apartment cleaning – and my scintillating friday-night plans consisted of transcribing five famous-canadian interviews. (as an aside: transcribing interviews is almost, but not quite, as fun as a root canal.) but i found myself craving a comfort movie...just something nice.

when i checked the TV listings, there it was. Dave. awww, Dave. i don’t know how many times i’ve seen this movie, but it’s been often enough that i practically have it committed to memory. it’s just a nice story about a nice guy – played by kevin kline...nice! – who works as a presidential impersonator and finds himself stepping in for the real thing. i still laugh when he straps on those big robotic arms to say, “i caught a fish this big!”. i still get teary when the long-neglected heart of the unsuspecting first lady (sigourney weaver) starts to melt because of her “reformed” husband. and i still sigh with relief when we get to the happy ending.

my other comfort movies are equally benign but enjoyable. they include:

* Serendipity, which i absolutely love for its belief in destiny, its shameless sappiness and kate beckinsale’s latter-half hairdo (which i’ve long coveted).

* You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle, because you can’t not like Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan and because, once again, these movies promote that idealistic kind of romance.

* Ferris Bueller’s Day Off...i swear i’ve seen this movie at least 50 times and i still won’t turn it off if i surf by accidentally.

* The Abyss because it’s breathtaking...literally.

* National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (say what you will, but this movie is one of my all-time faves and it always makes me cry!)

so, tonight, i’m going to make myself some macaroni & cheese, pour myself a grape soda and settle in with Dave. (and yes, i realize the dave/Dave theme of today’s post, but it’s strictly coincidental.)

while i do, tell me: what are your comfort movies?

or, if you don’t have comfort movies, what are your comfort foods?

wait loss

could it be?...is it possible?...can this really be happening???

i think...dare i write it?...that the waiting – all the hours and hours and hours and hours of mind-numbing, spirit-killing waiting – is finally, FINALLY over.

(i’ll wait, but only for one more moment, while you wipe away your tears.)

yes, folks, it seems as though, through some freaky cosmic aligning of the planets or as a means of proving the “meh things come to those who wait a really long time” theorem, as of tomorrow i will no longer have any celebrity publicists for whom to wait for the month-long thorn in my side that has been the famous-canadians story.

today, in rat-a-tat-tat fashion, the remaining four publicists ALL returned my days- or weeks-old emails and phone calls and – OMG, really!?! are you KIDDING me?! – they ALL had good news. the last four interviews are f**king scheduled! done and DONE. *sob*

sweet mother of all that is good and holy, i cannot wait to finish this story, and this final round of confirmations gets me one step closer to the light at the end of this dark, depressing tunnel. no more endless phonecalls in search of contact information. no more drafting pleas for interviews to “famous” but evidently overly selective canadians who should be thrilled that anyone, anywhere wants to hear what they have to say about anything. no more grains of sand dropping through the hourglass as i drum my fingers on my desk and stare at my phone, willing it to ring. i almost want to cry, i’m so happy.

now, i know that my relief may be short-lived, because situations like these – where someone’s asshatty PR rep behaves like some kind of omnipotent gatekeeper – pop up all the time in my line of work. but, hopefully, i won’t ever have to deal with DOZENS of them all at the same time for the same story ever again.

to borrow from linda (and napoleon dynamite): GOSH!

in related news, these final confirmations also freed up my evening, so i joined my theatre-loving friend laura for another Fringe show. tonight’s offering? Geek-Gasm, the comic story of two fanboys running amok at a sci-fi convention. the show, while cute, is clearly geared towards a very specific demographic, and is filled with more comic/sci-fi/fantasy references than you can swing a lightsabre at. (if, for example, you know what the object to the right is, chances are Geek-Gasm is for you. i didn’t know what it was before the show, but i do now.) your neighbourhood trekker will love it. me? meh.

when we emerged from the venue, the skies looked as though the apocalypse was nigh. weird, scary cloud formations, strong winds and a serious drop in temperature made it clear the lord was about to smite us all...or, you know, a thunderstorm was a'brewing. so we fled.

git 'er done!

buoyed by yesterday’s surge in home-improvement productivity and a blissful drop in temperatures and humidity, i continued the work today.

this place, great as it may be, needed to be put in proper order. stuff i shoved into closets during the mad rush of moving in (while simultaneously trying to juggle multiple writing assignments) was screaming out to be sorted and put wherever it’s meant to go permanently. linens stored alongside pails and caulking materials? not anymore! empty boxes that once contained new lamps or the big green fan? time to sort them, pack smaller ones into the big guys and trash the rest. endless pieces of bubble wrap? bagged and boxed for future use. even the bathroom closet has been organized into neatly arranged shelves, with items stored according to their frequency of use. that’s right, baby, i’m monica geller and i’m not ashamed to say so! AND, after staring at the equivalent of a blank, boring canvas for the past 3 1/2 months, i finally recreated (although to a somewhat tidier, lesser degree to allow for new additions) the glory of my previous fridge (right, as it was at Hell House and my 5'x5' kitchenette) and the explosion of fridge magnetry that covered it. if you squint, i'm sure many of you will be able to spot random postcards you've sent me over the years on that old fridge -- they're back up on the new one!

i’m relieved, in that “sweet mother of all that is holy will this ever end because i’m exhausted!” way, to report that finally, FINALLY a publicist returned my interview request in a timely fashion. in less than 24 hours, even! not only that, but he set up the interview right away and i’ve already completed it! *sigh* it’s miraculous how quickly things can get done when you’re calling people with whom you have an existing work relationship. so, this morning i had a fantastic interview with one of the anchors on CTV news, who was a terrific storyteller, very funny and completely engaging. PHEW!

two down, six more to go. i have another interview tomorrow morning, and i’m hoping to have another lined up for later in the day. perhaps the tides are turning?

all appendages are crossed, just in case.

[edited to add: oh, look at that. the tides are NOT turning. just got another rejection from another celebrity. i think i'm going to crawl under a rock and weep now.]

home improvements

remember oh-so-long-ago when i first started decorating my new place? and how i promised i’d eventually have proper “after” photos to go along with the ”befores”?

well, we’re almost there, folks.

today, despite the blistering heat and soul-crushing humidity, i decided to brave my own sweat to finally, at long last, hang the remainder of my unhung pictures. and i hung nearly all of them! there are four more giant framed posters to go up, but hopefully those will be done by friday afternoon. since the walls are concrete, one can’t just screw in screws oneself with one’s scrawny arms and one’s basic screwdriver. no, one needs the assistance of a Big Strong Guy with An Industrial Strength Drill and special Concrete Screws and Plugs...and, on friday, one such man will hopefully be here to quickly ram 12 screws into the wall and presto, i’ll be done.

just about.

there still remains the issue of the extra chair. i have Big Red, but he needs a friend. a companion. another comfy spot on which someone might rest some weary bones. the search for a little brother has been extensive and exhaustive, and is not yet complete. as long as Big Red flies solo in my living room, my work is not done.

for today, though, it totally is.

(as an aside: guess who's STILL waiting for publicists to call back? HOLY HELL already.)

"watching bad movies crash and burn"

anyone who loves bad movies...or anyone who simply loves clever, funny writing about bad movies...should check out The Slow Roll's blog or visit their main site.

i ♥ them, and no one reviews craptastic cinema like these fellas.

going green saves green

okay, so by now everyone and their cousin has been beaten senseless by the "go green" message. whether you're reducing, reusing and recycling, or swapping out lightbulbs, or unplugging your microwave when you're not using it, you know how important it is to do your bit. but, for anyone who still doubts that it's worthwhile, i offer cold, hard proof: my hydro bill.

when i lived at hell house, in my 300 sq. ft. apartment, my bi-monthly hydro bill was always, always between $42-48. always. didn't matter if it was winter or summer, the bill always fell into that range.

when i moved into my new, 600+ sq. ft. place this march, i made a conscious effort to make my pad as environmentally sound as possible. so, each light has compact fluorescent bulbs, any appliances not in use (microwave, VCR, printer, can opener, whatever) are unplugged, and i only turn on a light when i need one (i.e., i don't leave them on needlessly). having made all these minor changes, i was anxious to get my first hydro bill here to see what kind of impact, if any, it would have.

imagine my profound delight and surprise to see that the bill came to $32. that's a drop of about 25%! SWEET! plus, i reduced my carbon emissions and, you know, did something nice for the planet.

yay green!

notes from The Fringe

so, last friday i did something i’ve never done before.

i meant to blog about it sooner, but i wanted to make sure i would do it justice so i waited until i could sit down and properly reflect...

despite being something of a festival connoisseur – i go to TIFF, the WWSFF, hotdocs, inside/out, sprockets, the toronto street fest, the good food fest and the taste of the danforth, among others – i had never, ever tried my hand at attending The Fringe, toronto’s annual theatre festival.

oh sure, i’d heard of it before and had friends who would go regularly – i’ve even been known to read all the play reviews in NOW and EYE and wistfully imagine myself in the throes of Fringe-ing -- but i just never got it together enough to track down a fest program, peruse its contents and get my ass into a seat at one of the shows.

until friday.

under the expert tutelage of my rabid, theatre-loving friend laura (you remember laura, don’t you?), i lost my Fringe virginity. i was theatrically deflowered, and i’m delighted to say that laura was a very patient, supportive teacher. she has my eternal gratitude.

so, how was it, you ask?

familiar, yet new! many of the traditions my frequent-festing friends and i observe when spelunking through movie-related events can very easily be adapted to the world of the stage. spreadsheets of shows, detailed itineraries outlining dates/times/venues/buddies, a bag full of useful items (water, snacks, a sweater, sunscreen, mints), a love for standing in line and a reverent regard for punctuality – all are just as popular when racing from one Fringe show to the next as they are when sprinting from the Ryerson to the Paramount (now Scotiabank) in september.

armed with a head full of dreams and extremities bathed in SPF 30, i met up with my sensei at 2:30pm for the first of three back-to-back performances. SO exciting!

now, some of you may be thinking, “gee, i hope vickie saw some fantastic shows her first time out!”, and you’d be right. mostly. i’ll preface the next bit with the following disclaimer: seeing something really bad is often more fun than seeing something amazing, and starting off a day of theatre with a bad show means things can only improve.

with that, i regret to say that my inaugural Fringe show was pretty stinky. Looking After Eden was, for all intents and purposes, just two disconnected actors yelling at each other for ninety minutes straight. both had a handful of good moments whenever they stopped shouting and overacting long enough to get quiet and small, but otherwise it was tedious. my bum started to get sore about halfway through and, unfortunately, fleeing a venue before the final curtain is considered bad form. so, we stayed through to the end.

there were, i kid you not, 14 people in the audience. i counted. but, given what we watched, i can’t say i was surprised at the lacklustre turnout.

we didn’t have a lot of time between shows so we high-tailed it outta there PDQ once the bows were taken and the lights came up. next on the docket was An Inconvenient Musical, which is exactly what it sounds like: a musical-comedy take-off on al gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. now, THIS was fun. and packed to the rafters.

(an interesting Fringe note: evidently, at some venues, if you don’t like where the chairs have been placed or how they’ve been arranged, it’s perfectly acceptable to just pick yours up and move it to wherever you’d like to sit. wanna be on an aisle? super! just lift up your seat and drop it at the end of your preferred row, next to whomever thinks he or she has an aisle seat. can’t see the stage properly? no problem, just slide over six feet – and in front of the fire door – then settle in. presto! custom seating!)

filled with brilliant comedic performances (save for the host/narrator/al gore, who clearly hadn’t bothered to learn his lines beforehand) and ridiculously catchy tunes (including the soon-to-be-classic, Kick Him in the Nuts, And Punch Him in the Asshole), An Inconvenient Musical was a smartly written and wonderfully entertaining 85 minutes.

parched and hungry, we didn’t have time to refuel before the final show so we hustled ourselves over to Like Omigawd! The Sugar Pop ‘80s Musical and stood in the blob. not the line, because there was no line. if anything, there were, like, four or five lines, maybe a dotted line going in a circle, but not in any kind of organized manner. this is apparently a hazard one should expect when attending anything at a first-time venue. noted.

anyway, once inside, we were treated to an ‘80s-themed musical, set at a big-city high school in 1985 and complete with every cliché from just about every teen movie of that decade. the awkward new girl, the existing mean girls, the hot popular boy, the endearing geek in love with the awkward new girl....and a big, fat TV dance-off! despite some issues with the acoustics (holy hell, someone needed to adjust the levels on the radio mics and the speakers in such a small venue!) and laura's attempt to singlehandedly derail the proceedings by accidentally (and loudly) dropping her big metal bracelet onto the floor for all the world to hear (then it actually rolled away, which just made it that much more perfect a moment), the show was colourful, funny and boppy...but then it just ended. without a third act.

huh?

as my sensei and i agreed afterwards, if you’re going to spend an entire show talking about this all-important dance contest in which everyone wants to compete and at which the nerdy girl will finally challenge the popular girls...you can’t just NOT show it. you can’t end the show before the dance-off!

and yet, that’s exactly what happened.

(cue: a collective, disappointed awwwwwwwww.)

oh well.

a pit stop at the “Fringe Tent” (read: beer tent w/ BBQ) for a somewhat meh veggie burger capped off a very full day, and i was on my way home shortly before 9pm...basking in the afterglow and wondering if i’d hear the call of the Fringe before it ends next weekend.

perhaps. we had a good time, so maybe The Fringe and i will go out again.

we interrupt the summer to bring you an early TIFF rant...

that's right, a pre-pre-film festival rant about what the folks at TIFF dreamed up for 2007. rather than repost it here, just check out the moviepie blog for all the asshatty details.

waiting...and not waiting...and still waiting...

to update last wednesday's post on one of the least interesting parts of being a freelancer: i continue to wait.

yesterday, after not hearing a single word more from anyone than i had on wednesday, i did my second round of calls and emails to all the publicists, handlers and assorted PR reps. i managed to get two on the phone, in person. one, for whom i'd left a very detailed message a week prior, sounded surprised, and said, "oh, i don't think i got your previous message..."

nice try, lady. it was your personal voicemail, and you're not that big a wig that you'd have someone else clear your messages.

so, i repeated all the info from my previous message. she seemed optimistic and enthusiastic about the project, and promised to get back to me with an answer. not surprisingly, she hasn't called back.

the second person i managed to get in person -- who'd told me last week that her boss would call me back himself later the same day -- didn't seem eager to chat. "oh, i guess he hasn't called you yet, has he?"

nope.

she took down my information again and "yeah, yeah, yeah"'d me as i attempted to explain we need an answer, yea or nay, before the end of the week. thankfully, she actually called back later yesterday afternoon. not thankfully, it was to tell me her boss "has too much going on right now to participate in your story." i'm not sure what he thought i needed; i had explained that all i was after was a 10-minute phone interview. oh well.

speaking of people who declined: there will not be a jill hennessy interview. after a wild goose chase of a hunt for up-to-date contact info, and me calling no fewer than SIX different offices in search of her publicist, she also said, "no thanks."

so, replacements were drafted yesterday and, yes, i began the process again with two new famous canadians. i have a sinking feeling that, of the original people on the list, i may only land three and have to go to second- and third-tier talent to fill in the blanks.

and, further to my people-who-call-you-without-warning-and-want-to-be-interviewed-immediately scenario, i had just such a call from a famous skater this morning. i had no idea he was going to call, as we hadn't scheduled anything yet. i'm delighted to say that he was friendly, relaxed and totally accommodating when i said, "um, would it be possible for you to call back in, like, five minutes so i can get my stuff ready?" no problem! he called back, we chatted, he told stories and famous canadian #1 was done and done.

at least i'll have something to transcribe while i wait for the rest...

shameless plug of the day: Transformers

honestly? it's the best summer movie of the year.

stop snickering. i'm serious!

big, bold, loud, colourful, flashy, explosive and funny. brain food? no. brain candy? GRADE A. so delicious!

appropriately enough, it goes nicely hand-in-hand with yesterday's post about foods with crack. i'm fairly certain crack has somehow been infused into Transformers.

if you like michael bay (denette, i'm looking at you) or were a fan of the animated series or are just in the market for a pure summer-movie rush with all the bells and whistles, go.

believe me, i expected to like the movie but i didn't expect to love it. you can read my full review here.

this concludes today's unsolicited promotion of a major motion picture.

foods with crack**

you know exactly the ones i mean. the foods that, after consumption, leave their consumers craaaaaving more. the foods that are, almost always, not good for you in some way -- they contain too much sugar, or too much sodium, or too much caffeine, or are made at a chain run by fundamentalists. for me, the list of food with crack includes:

* krispy kreme donuts

* chick-fil-A chicken fingers and fries

* barq's root beer

* wild cherry pepsi

* fritos twists

* sweet tarts

* the cheesecake factory's mashed potatoes

* pepperidge farm (garlic) texas toast

with the exception of the barq's and the sweet tarts, all of the items listed are unavailable commercially in canada. interesting. perhaps telling.

what's on your list of cracky foods? what do you crave?

[**note: lest anyone randomly surfing by get their hanes in a twist over me somehow suggesting there's actual crack-cocaine in these foods, i'm kidding.]

it's a happy canada day, today

today is a good day.

the weather is absolutely FANTASTIC. sunny, breezy, dry, high of 20C/68F expected.

young beatrix stopped in briefly to help me fix the broken drapery rods, which have been bothering me since before i moved in. so now they're perfect!

later this afternoon, i'm going to a friend's house for a barbecue and, really, who doesn't love a good barbecue on a beautiful day?

right now, i'm enjoying my gloriously chilly apartment (socks and slippers...in july! amazing!), having a snack and watching live coverage of the Concert for Diana. i'm also smiling because i got some encouraging screenwriting news earlier today.

and, yesterday, i think i found the cat i'm going to adopt.

having a good one, and hoping you're doing the same!

[addendum: the perfect ending to a great day? stopping along a residential street to watch a beautiful, and completely unexpected, fireworks display (happening somewhere at a park nearby...dunno) while being driven to the subway. so pretty!]